Jain Waldrip Speech at 10/11/2010 Vigil

The written speech below was given by Vice-President of S.A.G.E. (Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Equality) at the Candelight Vigil held Monday, October 11th, 2010 in Dunn Meadow:

"I want to thank you all for coming to stand with us tonight. While the majority of my speech will be addressed to those who are struggling against suicide, especially as a result of anti-LGBT harassment or violence, I want to extend special thanks to our allies, to those of you who are not LGBT-identified, but have chosen to stand here with us in solidarity against the violence and harassment that plague LGBT youth. Before I begin, I wish to acknowledge those organizations who have lent their support to this event: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Student Support Services; IU Women’s Student Association; the Department of Communication and Culture; Intervarsity Christian Fellowship; illuMENate; and the Office of Diversity Education.

To our allies, I want to thank you for your support, and ask that you continue to stand by us unwavering. Anti-LGBT violence and harassment affect not only LGBT-identified youth, but also those perceived as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender, as well as our friends, our family, and our loved ones. This is everyone’s problem, and it takes the support of everyone in our community, LGBT or not, to stop a problem so pervasive.

Here are some ways that you can continue to offer your help and support. Speak up; challenge the use of ‘gay’ as a pejorative. When people talk to you about their experiences, listen; a good listener is worth more than the best advice-giver. Stand by your LGBT friends; even if it means no more than walking next to them with your head held high when others harass them, your show of support will help.

To those of you who may be struggling with suicide, especially as a result of Anti-LGBT harassment or violence, I first want to share with you a little of my personal experience in struggling against the urge to end my life. I was 8 years old the first time I remember thinking that I would rather be dead than alive. I struggled against depression and suicide throughout high school and the start of my college career. One day when I was 22 years old, I felt that painful urge again, and decided that I would rather talk to someone than give in. That was when I knew I had won out against it. I still have these feelings from time to time, but since that day I’ve come through each dark moment with an awareness that I will remain, and eventually, the darkness will pass.

I also want to tell you that it will get easier for you. Every day that you face adversity, you get a little stronger against it. Every day that you face adversity, you learn to resist a little better. Every day that you face adversity, you find better ways to heal.

I urge you to talk to someone, especially to someone who has been through what you’re going through, but even to someone who hasn’t. No matter how alone you may feel, remember that you aren’t. While no one’s circumstances are exactly like yours, and while no one has ever been in your exact position, someone out there has been through something close enough that they know the pain you face.

I would urge you as well to listen to someone. A burden shared is a burden halved. You will be amazed at what strength you’ve found when you share your experiences with someone who faces a pain like that which you face.

Remember also that if you do give up your life, you give up a chance to ease someone else’s pain. The more you resist adversity, the less the next person needs to. The more you endure, the easier it is for the next person to do so. In giving up your life, you relinquish a chance to ease the burden of another simply by continuing to exist.

When you feel like you’re down, remember that you’re not out, not so long as you can draw a breath. When it’s all you can do to take your next breath, do that, and don’t worry about anything else. Every breath you draw renews your place in this world, and every moment you endure strengthens you against the next, so long as you remain.

If you or someone you know is struggling against suicide or anti-LGBT harassment, here are some places to get help. The GLBTSSS Center offers free counseling to LGBT students and our allies. CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services) offers two free counseling sessions a semester, with additional counseling sessions at only $20 each, and maintains a 24-hour suicide hotline. You can talk to someone who cares, who will listen, and you can get help if something has gone wrong, for yourself or for a friend. GRAD (Get Real About Discrimination) meets weekly in the Persimmon Room, every Friday at 6:00pm, and offers a supportive listening environment for anyone who feels that they have faced discrimination and wants to talk about their experience. GLU (Girls Like Us) is a peer support group for lesbian and bisexual women 25 and under, and meets every Wednesday evening at La Casa from 7:00 to 9:00 pm. If you just need a supportive environment, or someone to talk to, SAGE or any of this event’s sponsors are here to help you in whatever way we can, even if only to offer a sympathetic ear or direct you toward other resources.

Every one of you, in standing with us tonight, holds a light against an encroaching darkness which threatens young lives, and which has already claimed several. Once again, I want to thank all of you for lending your strength in this struggle, and urge you to continue to stand up for the right of all people to live their lives free of hatred, intolerance, violence, harassment, and bigotry.

Those of you who would like to speak out and share your experience with us tonight are encouraged to do so, but first I’d like to invite you all to join us in observing a brief moment of silence, that we may remember all those who have relinquished their lives in the face of adversity."

Jain Waldrip
Candelight Vigil
Dunn Meadow IUB
10/11/2010