In today's society, finding a loving relationship is difficult -- sometimes even impossible. Many people believe such a relationship should be based on love instead of the imposed values of others.

Members of interracial couples agree.

Monday at a student panel in Forest Quadrangle, sophomore Tameka Fincher, an African American, said, "It's so hard to find someone who loves you. To say you won't fall in love with someone outside your race, that's cutting down on your chances."

The panel, co-sponsored by CommUNITY Educators and Forest Black Student Union, raised issues dealing with problems interracial couples face in society and in their own relationships as a result of different racial and cultural backgrounds.

Three couples participated in the panel, including Fincher and her Caucasian boyfriend sophomore Paul Duncan; the two have been dating for 13 months.

"Students requested that we have a panel on interracial dating, and it was a personal interest of mine. I requested the help of the Black Student Union and asked around to find the couples," said CommUNITY Educator Bethany Cockburn, a junior, who organized the event.

Sophomore Sia Nyorkor, vice-president external for Forest Black Student Union, introduced the discussion by asking the students their names and where they met.

Fincher said she and Duncan became good friends first. When people heard they were dating, they were amazed. "They said, 'They can't be together, they're just good friends.' It was blatant denial," she said.

Questions focused on parents for a good portion of the discussion. Sophomore Janine Luzano, who is Filipino, said, "Well, my parents don't know (I'm in an interracial relationship) because I'm not supposed to be dating. They would prefer me to date Caucasian men anyway, so they would be happy."

Senior David Hutson, director of education for OUT, has been dating sophomore David Johnson for three months.

"My parents don't know," he said. "Not because he's black but because he's a man. I just recently came out to them, and I think it would be too much for them that I'm actually dating someone."

Although most parents are concerned only with their children's happiness, communities are not always so accepting. Students in the audience were interested to know if IU is more accepting than the students' hometowns.

Duncan said, "I think it's a lot more diverse than my hometown. There are only a few black families. I wouldn't say it's the best here, but it's better."

"I think I felt (the tension) more when I came here, but this is also the first place I've felt comfortable to hold hands with my boyfriend in public," Johnson said. "IU is a lot more accepting than places I've lived in the South."

Cultural differences are a factor for the couples, but the students felt they could overcome these differences through communication.

"Just because you can't understand everything on the same level as they do doesn't mean you can't connect," Johnson said. "In any relationship when you have a problem, you want someone to listen."

Luzano taught her Caucasian boyfriend, Steve Hale, about her culture.

"He never had eaten any Asian food, and now he can speak some of my language. He learned to be more cultured, and that's probably the most important thing."

The student panel also offered advice to those who don't accept interracial relationships.

"I'm not up here to support or back interracial dating," Hale said. "I can't tell you who to date. I have no problem with you, as long as you don't have a problem with me."

Finding a common bond in a relationship is a hardship many people face. Interracial couples say love should be colorblind.

"I have found someone who I can connect with and care about. I can look at him and know what he's thinking and know he knows what I'm thinking," Johnson said. "That's what dating and love is all about."