Dr. Hope Elkins, Ph.D. Often material on a subject of interest to a learner but
which is difficult to read can be rewritten in simpler terms
to match the learner's reading level. Rewriting, therefore,
is a practical instructional procedure and it is not
difficult to do. Topical subjects from newspapers or
magazines, for example, can be readily made available to
learners through this process. The weekly magazine News for
You (a four-page tabloid published by New Readers Press,
Syracuse, NY) does this commercially at a modest price and
on two reading levels. on the other hand, rewritten material
on nontopical subjects can be saved and used with many
learners. Points to Consider When Rewriting To lower the reading level of material, which is usually
the need, shorten long sentences and simplify the
vocabulary. Use words of few syllables that might be in the
learner's speaking vocabulary. Presenting new words should
not be ruled out, however. Also, avoid presenting in close
proximity -- especially in one sentence -- several difficult
or complex concepts. A group of short sentences will often
facilitate comprehension. In some cases it may be necessary
to expand on various concepts, to explain background points
considered to be understood by the writer of the material.
Keep these ideas in mind when rewriting: 1. Note concept load: "Inflation assumed
staggering proportions in the last decade" (original);
"Inflation is very high. In 1972 a dollar would buy a dozen
donuts. In 1982 you will be lucky to get four for a dollar!"
(rewrite). 2. Consider concrete vs abstract ideas: "Tiny was
definitely a one-master dog" (original); "The little dog,
Tiny, was completely devoted to his master. He was always
ready to play. He came when he was called. He never ran away
from home" (rewrite). 3. Where possible use the active rather than the
passive voice: "A letter was sent by John yesterday"
(original in passive voice); "John sent a letter yesterday"
(rewrite in active voice). 4. Be careful of participial phrases: "Traveling
on such crowded roads, they seldom reached their destination
before dark" (original); "The roads were crowded. It was
often dark before they got where they were going"
(rewrite). 5. Take care with clausal modifications: "The
small boy clung to the wrought-iron fence around Buckingham
Palace, his nose poking through as though by sheer dint of
will he would be able to Bee the Queen better despite the
barrier" (original); "The small boy pressed his nose through
the wrought-iron fence around Buckingham Palace. He wanted
very much to see the Queen" (rewrite). 6. Express subordinate ideas with simple adjectives or
adverbs: "Dark rain drenched the forest floor leaving
great pools of still water to reflect the towering sentinels
of Douglas fir" (original); "Heavy rain had filled the
forest with pools of water. Tall evergreen trees were
reflected everywhere" (rewrite). 7. Watch embedded concepts: "The check, sent to
three wrong addresses, eventually reached the right person"
(original); "The check eventually reached the right person.
It had been sent to three wrong addresses" (rewrite). "There
were hundreds of seagulls near the dock wheeling and dipping
as though on maneuvers" (original); "The hundreds of
seagulls flew high and low over the dock. They looked as
though they were performing for someone" (rewrite). 8. Delete some material: In some material there
may be complex ideas that should be left out in the rewrite.
In rewriting the excerpt from Bury My Heart At
Wounded Knee (see the following pages) the second grade
version deletes the first paragraph of the original. Technique of rewriting. Find a selection of
interest to your learner. Read it carefully, noting the
points of interest. Put the selection aside and rewrite it
from memory an though you were talking to the learner. When
finished, check the original for facts if necessary. Type or
print the rewrite and consider the following: (a) letters
should be legible and uniform, (b) avoid breaking phrases or
words at the ends of lines, (c) keep the lines short, (d)
allow wide margins and enough space between lines. Highlighting as an Alternative to Rewriting With a yellow felt-point pen, or other marker, one can
sometimes highlight material in a way that will reduce its
reading level. The following explanation is from
"Highlighting to Simplify Reading" by Tim Wells, 1979: Conclusion Once you have a feel for highlighting or rewriting, you
will find satisfaction in inserting details that tailor a
selection to the learner's interests. Observe the learner as he or she reads. Note if there are
any aspects of the format that seem difficult. Does the
learner mention points that could be used the next time you
rewrite? Rewriting may offer a challenge to some, but it can be
very rewarding in terms of suiting material to student
needs. Be sure to give the original author credit. You might
place at the bottom of the page with your rewrite: This
story was adapted from Tall Tales of the Timbers by
Peter Bunyan (Express, 1978), p. 30. References Craig, L.C. (1977, December). If it's too difficult for
the kids to read--rewrite it! Journal of Reading, 21,
212-214. Funkhouser, G.R. & MacCoby, N. (1971). Study on
communicating science information to a lay audience. Phase
II. Institute for Communication Research, Stanford
University. Harris, A.J. & Sipay, E.R. (1985). How to Increase
reading ability (pp. 528-529). New York: Longman. Newman, A.P. (1980). Adult basic education: Reading. (p.
114). Boston: Allyn and Bacon. Ratho, L.E. (1964). What is a good teacher? Childhood
Education, 40, 451~456. Shaffer, G.L. (1977). An investigation of the
relationship of selected components of readability and
comprehension at the secondary school level. In P.D. Pearson
& J. Hansen (Eds.), Reading: Theory. research, and
practice (pp. 244-252). Clemson, SC: National Reading
Conference. Wells, T. (1979). Highlighting to simplify reading.
[mimeographed]. Indianapolis, IN: Indiana State
Department of Public Instruction, Division of Adult and
Community Education. Sample Excerpt "Cochise and the Apache Guerrillas," from Dee Brown's
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. After the visit of Red cloud in the summer of 1871,
Commissioner Ely Parker and the other government officials
discussed the advisability of inviting the great Apache
Chief, Cochise, to Washington. Although there had been no
military campaigns in the Apache country since the departure
of Star Chief Carleton after the Civil War, there were
frequent encounters between roving bands of these Indians
and the white settlers, miners, and freighters who kept
intruding upon their homelands. The government set aside
four reservation areas in New Mexico and Arizona for the
various bands, but few Apaches would come in to live on any
of them. It was Commissioner Parker's hope that Cochise
could help bring about a permanent peace in the Apache
country, and he asked his bureau's representatives in that
area to invite the chief to come to Washington. Not until the spring of 1871 was any white man able to
find Cochise, and when at last communication was
established, the chief declined the government's invitation.
He said simply that he could not trust either the military
or the civilian representatives of the United States. Cochise was a chiricahua Apache. He was taller than most
of his people, broad shouldered, deep-chested, his face
intelligent, with black eyes, large straight nose, very high
forehead, thick black hair. White men who met him said he
was gentle in manners, and very neat and clean in
appearance. When the Americans first came to Arizona, cochise had
welcomed them. In 1856, during a meeting with Major Enoch
Steen of the First US Dragoons, Cochise promised to let
Americans cross the Chiricahua county on the southern route
to California. He did not object when the Butterfield
overland Mail established a stage station in Apache Pass; in
fact, Chiricahuas living nearby cut wood for the station,
trading it for supplies. Then one day in February, 1861, Cochise received a
message from Apache Pass asking him to come in to the
station for a conference with a military officer. Expecting
that this would be a routine matter, Cochise took along five
members of his family -- his brother, two nephews, a woman,
and a child. The military officer who wanted to see him was
Lieutenant George N. Bascom of the Seventh Infantry, and he
had been sent with a company of soldiers to recover cattle
and a half-breed boy stolen from the ranch of John Ward.
Ward had accused Cochise's Chiricahuas of taking the cattle
and boy. As soon an cochise and his relatives entered Bascom's
tent, twelve soldiers surrounded it, and the lieutenant
peremptorily demanded that the Chiricahuas return the cattle
and boy. Cochise had heard about the captured boy. Another band of
Apaches had raided the Ward Ranch, he said, and probably
were at Black Mountain. Cochise thought he might be able to
arrange a ransom. Bascom's reply was an accusation that
Cochise's band had the boy and the cattle. At first Cochise
thought the young officer was joking. Bascom was
short-tempered however and when Cochise made light of the
accusation, the lieutenant ordered the arrest of Cochise and
his relatives. He said he would hold them as hostages for
return of the cattle and the boy. Just as the soldiers moved in to make the arrested
Cochise slashed a hole in the tent and fled under rifle
fire. Cochise had been wounded but managed to escape
Bascom's pursuit. However, his relatives were still held as
prisoners. To get them free, cochise and his warriors
captured three white men and tried to make an exchange with
the lieutenant. Bascom refused the exchange unless the
stolen cattle and boy were included. Angered because Bascom would not believe his people were
innocent, cochise blocked Apache Pass and fought the
soldiers. After giving Bascom one more chance to exchange,
Cochise executed his prisoners mutilating them with lances,
a cruel practice the Apaches had learned from the Spaniards.
A few days later Lt. Bascom retaliated by hanging Cochise's
three male relatives. It was at this point in history that the Chiricahuas
transferred their hatred of the Spaniards to the Americans.
For a quarter of a century they and other Apaches would
fight an intermittent guerrilla campaign that would be more
costly in lives and treasure than any of the other Indian
wars. Rewrite for 7th and 8th grade After the visit of Red Cloud in the summer of 1871,
Commissioner Ely Parker and other government officials
discussed the advisability* of inviting the great Apache
chief, Cochise, to Washington. Not until the spring of 1871
was any white man able to find Cochise, and when at last
communication was established. the chief declined the
government's invitation. He said simply that he could not
trust either the military or the civilian representatives of
the United States. Cochise was taller than most of his people,
broad-shouldered, deep-chested, his face intelligent, with
black eyes, large straight nose, very high forehead, thick
black hair. White men who met him said he was gentle in his
manners. and very neat and clean in his appearance. When the Americans first came to Arizona, Cochise had
welcomed them. Then one day in February, 1861, Cochise
received a message from Apache Pass asking him to come in to
the station for a conference with a military officer.
Expecting that this would be a routine matter, Cochise took
along five members of his family -- his brother, two
nephews, a woman, and a child. The military officer who
wanted to see him was Lt. George N. Bascom. He had been sent
with a company of soldiers to recover cattle and a
half-breed boy stolen from the ranch of John Ward. Ward had
accused Cochise's tribe of taking the cattle and the
boy. As soon as Cochise and his relatives entered Bascom's
tent, twelve soldiers surrounded it, and the Lieutenant
demanded that the Apaches return the cattle and the boy. Cochise had heard about the captured boy. Another band of
Apaches had raided the Ward Ranch, he said, and probably
were at Black Mountain. Cochise thought he might be able to
arrange a ransom. Bascom's reply was an accusation that
Cochise's band had the boy and the cattle. At first Cochise
thought the young officer was joking. Bascom was
short-tempered, however, and when Cochise made light of the
accusation, the lieutenant ordered the arrest of Cochise and
his relatives. He said he would hold them as hostages for
return of the cattle and the boy. Just as the soldiers moved in to make the arrest, Cochise
slashed a hole in the tent and fled under rifle fire.
Cochise had been wounded, but managed to escape Bascom's
pursuit. However, his relatives were still held as
prisoners. To get them free, Cochise and his warriors
captured three white men and tried to make an exchange with
the lieutenant. Bascom refused the exchange unless the
stolen cattle and the boy were included. Angered because Bascom would not believe his people were
innocent, Cochise blocked Apache Pass and fought the
soldiers. After giving Bascom one more chance to exchange,
Cochise executed his prisoners, mutilating them with lances,
a cruel practice the Apaches had learned from the Spaniards.
A few days later Lt. Bascom retaliated by hanging Cochise's
three male relatives. It was at this point in history that the Apaches
transferred their hatred of the Spaniards to the Americans.
For twenty-five years they and other Apaches would fight a
guerrilla campaign that would be more costly in lives and
treasure than any of the other Indian ware. Rewrite for 2nd grade Cochise was a famous Apache Indian chief. He was taller
than most of his people. He had wide shoulders, a large,
straight nose, and a very high forehead. His eyes were black
and he had thick, black hair. White men thought he was kind
and more clean than most Indians. At first cochise had welcomed the white men. Then one day
in 1861, Cochise received a message from Lt. Bascom, the
leader of the white soldiers, that he wanted to see him.
Cochise took five members of his family to the meeting. He
did not think it would be dangerous. Cochise and his relatives went into Bascom's tent.
Soldiers suddenly surrounded it. Bascom said, "Cochise, you
and your warriors stole cattle from the ranch of John Ward.
You also took a half~breed boy." Cochise had heard about the boy. He told the soldiers,
"My people did not take the boy or steal the cattle. Some
other Apaches did. They are at Black Mountain. I will talk
to them. Maybe I can convince them to give back the boy and
the cattle." But Lt. Bascom did not believe Cochise. He blamed Cochise
again. At first Cochise thought Bascom was joking. But then
Bascom ordered the soldiers to arrest Cochise and his
family. He said he would hold them hostage until the
half-breed boy and the cattle were returned. Cochise quickly slashed a hole in the tent with his
knife. He jumped out and ran very fast. The soldiers fired
their rifles after him. Cochise was wounded. He had gotten
free, but Bascom still had the other members of his
family. Cochise decided to make a deal with Bascom. He captured 3
white men. He wanted to trade the white men for his
relatives. But Bascom would not agree. He said, "You must
also trade the cattle and the boy. Cochise was angry. Bascom would not believe his people.
They had not stolen the cattle or the boy. Cochise decided
to fight the soldiers. He gave Bascom one more chance to
trade. Then he killed the three white men. A few days later
Bascom got even by killing three of Cochise's male
relatives. It was at this point in history that the Apaches came to
hate the white men. For the next 25 years they fought. These
battles became the most costly in lives and treasure of all
the Indian wars. *Underlined words may be discussed after reading. They
should not be underlined until after reading, however.

Department
of Language Education
Practicum in Language X425/L525
(In the material selected and reproduced)
highlight the most important information, keeping a sense
of sentence structure. Use slash marks (//) to show the
beginning and end of ideas. At times you will need to add
a word or drop a suffix, etc . . . . For students at the
beginning reading level you may want to record the
highlighted material on tape. Teach the student to follow
along in the material while listening to the tape.
Comments: disted@indiana.edu
Copyright
1998, The Trustees of Indiana
University