INDIANA UNIVERSITY
Department of Language Education

Practicum in Language X425/L525

Dr. Hope Elkins, Ph.D.

 Syllabus

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Rewriting Reading Material

Often material on a subject of interest to a learner but which is difficult to read can be rewritten in simpler terms to match the learner's reading level. Rewriting, therefore, is a practical instructional procedure and it is not difficult to do. Topical subjects from newspapers or magazines, for example, can be readily made available to learners through this process. The weekly magazine News for You (a four-page tabloid published by New Readers Press, Syracuse, NY) does this commercially at a modest price and on two reading levels. on the other hand, rewritten material on nontopical subjects can be saved and used with many learners.

 

Points to Consider When Rewriting

To lower the reading level of material, which is usually the need, shorten long sentences and simplify the vocabulary. Use words of few syllables that might be in the learner's speaking vocabulary. Presenting new words should not be ruled out, however. Also, avoid presenting in close proximity -- especially in one sentence -- several difficult or complex concepts. A group of short sentences will often facilitate comprehension. In some cases it may be necessary to expand on various concepts, to explain background points considered to be understood by the writer of the material. Keep these ideas in mind when rewriting:

 

1. Note concept load: "Inflation assumed staggering proportions in the last decade" (original); "Inflation is very high. In 1972 a dollar would buy a dozen donuts. In 1982 you will be lucky to get four for a dollar!" (rewrite).

2. Consider concrete vs abstract ideas: "Tiny was definitely a one-master dog" (original); "The little dog, Tiny, was completely devoted to his master. He was always ready to play. He came when he was called. He never ran away from home" (rewrite).

3. Where possible use the active rather than the passive voice: "A letter was sent by John yesterday" (original in passive voice); "John sent a letter yesterday" (rewrite in active voice).

4. Be careful of participial phrases: "Traveling on such crowded roads, they seldom reached their destination before dark" (original); "The roads were crowded. It was often dark before they got where they were going" (rewrite).

5. Take care with clausal modifications: "The small boy clung to the wrought-iron fence around Buckingham Palace, his nose poking through as though by sheer dint of will he would be able to Bee the Queen better despite the barrier" (original); "The small boy pressed his nose through the wrought-iron fence around Buckingham Palace. He wanted very much to see the Queen" (rewrite).

6. Express subordinate ideas with simple adjectives or adverbs: "Dark rain drenched the forest floor leaving great pools of still water to reflect the towering sentinels of Douglas fir" (original); "Heavy rain had filled the forest with pools of water. Tall evergreen trees were reflected everywhere" (rewrite).

7. Watch embedded concepts: "The check, sent to three wrong addresses, eventually reached the right person" (original); "The check eventually reached the right person. It had been sent to three wrong addresses" (rewrite). "There were hundreds of seagulls near the dock wheeling and dipping as though on maneuvers" (original); "The hundreds of seagulls flew high and low over the dock. They looked as though they were performing for someone" (rewrite).

8. Delete some material: In some material there may be complex ideas that should be left out in the rewrite. In rewriting the excerpt from Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee (see the following pages) the second grade version deletes the first paragraph of the original.

Technique of rewriting. Find a selection of interest to your learner. Read it carefully, noting the points of interest. Put the selection aside and rewrite it from memory an though you were talking to the learner. When finished, check the original for facts if necessary. Type or print the rewrite and consider the following: (a) letters should be legible and uniform, (b) avoid breaking phrases or words at the ends of lines, (c) keep the lines short, (d) allow wide margins and enough space between lines.

 

Highlighting as an Alternative to Rewriting

With a yellow felt-point pen, or other marker, one can sometimes highlight material in a way that will reduce its reading level. The following explanation is from "Highlighting to Simplify Reading" by Tim Wells, 1979:

(In the material selected and reproduced) highlight the most important information, keeping a sense of sentence structure. Use slash marks (//) to show the beginning and end of ideas. At times you will need to add a word or drop a suffix, etc . . . . For students at the beginning reading level you may want to record the highlighted material on tape. Teach the student to follow along in the material while listening to the tape.

 

Conclusion

Once you have a feel for highlighting or rewriting, you will find satisfaction in inserting details that tailor a selection to the learner's interests.

Observe the learner as he or she reads. Note if there are any aspects of the format that seem difficult. Does the learner mention points that could be used the next time you rewrite?

Rewriting may offer a challenge to some, but it can be very rewarding in terms of suiting material to student needs. Be sure to give the original author credit. You might place at the bottom of the page with your rewrite: This story was adapted from Tall Tales of the Timbers by Peter Bunyan (Express, 1978), p. 30.

 

References

Craig, L.C. (1977, December). If it's too difficult for the kids to read--rewrite it! Journal of Reading, 21, 212-214.

Funkhouser, G.R. & MacCoby, N. (1971). Study on communicating science information to a lay audience. Phase II. Institute for Communication Research, Stanford University.

Harris, A.J. & Sipay, E.R. (1985). How to Increase reading ability (pp. 528-529). New York: Longman.

Newman, A.P. (1980). Adult basic education: Reading. (p. 114). Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

Ratho, L.E. (1964). What is a good teacher? Childhood Education, 40, 451~456.

Shaffer, G.L. (1977). An investigation of the relationship of selected components of readability and comprehension at the secondary school level. In P.D. Pearson & J. Hansen (Eds.), Reading: Theory. research, and practice (pp. 244-252). Clemson, SC: National Reading Conference.

Wells, T. (1979). Highlighting to simplify reading. [mimeographed]. Indianapolis, IN: Indiana State Department of Public Instruction, Division of Adult and Community Education.

 

Sample Excerpt

 

"Cochise and the Apache Guerrillas," from Dee Brown's Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

 

After the visit of Red cloud in the summer of 1871, Commissioner Ely Parker and the other government officials discussed the advisability of inviting the great Apache Chief, Cochise, to Washington. Although there had been no military campaigns in the Apache country since the departure of Star Chief Carleton after the Civil War, there were frequent encounters between roving bands of these Indians and the white settlers, miners, and freighters who kept intruding upon their homelands. The government set aside four reservation areas in New Mexico and Arizona for the various bands, but few Apaches would come in to live on any of them. It was Commissioner Parker's hope that Cochise could help bring about a permanent peace in the Apache country, and he asked his bureau's representatives in that area to invite the chief to come to Washington.

Not until the spring of 1871 was any white man able to find Cochise, and when at last communication was established, the chief declined the government's invitation. He said simply that he could not trust either the military or the civilian representatives of the United States.

Cochise was a chiricahua Apache. He was taller than most of his people, broad shouldered, deep-chested, his face intelligent, with black eyes, large straight nose, very high forehead, thick black hair. White men who met him said he was gentle in manners, and very neat and clean in appearance.

When the Americans first came to Arizona, cochise had welcomed them. In 1856, during a meeting with Major Enoch Steen of the First US Dragoons, Cochise promised to let Americans cross the Chiricahua county on the southern route to California. He did not object when the Butterfield overland Mail established a stage station in Apache Pass; in fact, Chiricahuas living nearby cut wood for the station, trading it for supplies.

Then one day in February, 1861, Cochise received a message from Apache Pass asking him to come in to the station for a conference with a military officer. Expecting that this would be a routine matter, Cochise took along five members of his family -- his brother, two nephews, a woman, and a child. The military officer who wanted to see him was Lieutenant George N. Bascom of the Seventh Infantry, and he had been sent with a company of soldiers to recover cattle and a half-breed boy stolen from the ranch of John Ward. Ward had accused Cochise's Chiricahuas of taking the cattle and boy.

As soon an cochise and his relatives entered Bascom's tent, twelve soldiers surrounded it, and the lieutenant peremptorily demanded that the Chiricahuas return the cattle and boy.

Cochise had heard about the captured boy. Another band of Apaches had raided the Ward Ranch, he said, and probably were at Black Mountain. Cochise thought he might be able to arrange a ransom. Bascom's reply was an accusation that Cochise's band had the boy and the cattle. At first Cochise thought the young officer was joking. Bascom was short-tempered however and when Cochise made light of the accusation, the lieutenant ordered the arrest of Cochise and his relatives. He said he would hold them as hostages for return of the cattle and the boy.

 

Just as the soldiers moved in to make the arrested Cochise slashed a hole in the tent and fled under rifle fire. Cochise had been wounded but managed to escape Bascom's pursuit. However, his relatives were still held as prisoners. To get them free, cochise and his warriors captured three white men and tried to make an exchange with the lieutenant. Bascom refused the exchange unless the stolen cattle and boy were included.

Angered because Bascom would not believe his people were innocent, cochise blocked Apache Pass and fought the soldiers. After giving Bascom one more chance to exchange, Cochise executed his prisoners mutilating them with lances, a cruel practice the Apaches had learned from the Spaniards. A few days later Lt. Bascom retaliated by hanging Cochise's three male relatives.

It was at this point in history that the Chiricahuas transferred their hatred of the Spaniards to the Americans. For a quarter of a century they and other Apaches would fight an intermittent guerrilla campaign that would be more costly in lives and treasure than any of the other Indian wars.

 

Rewrite for 7th and 8th grade

COCHISE AND THE APACHE GUERRILLAS

 

After the visit of Red Cloud in the summer of 1871, Commissioner Ely Parker and other government officials discussed the advisability* of inviting the great Apache chief, Cochise, to Washington. Not until the spring of 1871 was any white man able to find Cochise, and when at last communication was established. the chief declined the government's invitation. He said simply that he could not trust either the military or the civilian representatives of the United States.

Cochise was taller than most of his people, broad-shouldered, deep-chested, his face intelligent, with black eyes, large straight nose, very high forehead, thick black hair. White men who met him said he was gentle in his manners. and very neat and clean in his appearance.

When the Americans first came to Arizona, Cochise had welcomed them. Then one day in February, 1861, Cochise received a message from Apache Pass asking him to come in to the station for a conference with a military officer. Expecting that this would be a routine matter, Cochise took along five members of his family -- his brother, two nephews, a woman, and a child. The military officer who wanted to see him was Lt. George N. Bascom. He had been sent with a company of soldiers to recover cattle and a half-breed boy stolen from the ranch of John Ward. Ward had accused Cochise's tribe of taking the cattle and the boy.

As soon as Cochise and his relatives entered Bascom's tent, twelve soldiers surrounded it, and the Lieutenant demanded that the Apaches return the cattle and the boy.

Cochise had heard about the captured boy. Another band of Apaches had raided the Ward Ranch, he said, and probably were at Black Mountain. Cochise thought he might be able to arrange a ransom. Bascom's reply was an accusation that Cochise's band had the boy and the cattle. At first Cochise thought the young officer was joking. Bascom was short-tempered, however, and when Cochise made light of the accusation, the lieutenant ordered the arrest of Cochise and his relatives. He said he would hold them as hostages for return of the cattle and the boy.

Just as the soldiers moved in to make the arrest, Cochise slashed a hole in the tent and fled under rifle fire. Cochise had been wounded, but managed to escape Bascom's pursuit. However, his relatives were still held as prisoners. To get them free, Cochise and his warriors captured three white men and tried to make an exchange with the lieutenant. Bascom refused the exchange unless the stolen cattle and the boy were included.

Angered because Bascom would not believe his people were innocent, Cochise blocked Apache Pass and fought the soldiers. After giving Bascom one more chance to exchange, Cochise executed his prisoners, mutilating them with lances, a cruel practice the Apaches had learned from the Spaniards. A few days later Lt. Bascom retaliated by hanging Cochise's three male relatives.

It was at this point in history that the Apaches transferred their hatred of the Spaniards to the Americans. For twenty-five years they and other Apaches would fight a guerrilla campaign that would be more costly in lives and treasure than any of the other Indian ware.

 

Rewrite for 2nd grade

WHY COCHISE HATED WHITE MEN

 

Cochise was a famous Apache Indian chief. He was taller than most of his people. He had wide shoulders, a large, straight nose, and a very high forehead. His eyes were black and he had thick, black hair. White men thought he was kind and more clean than most Indians.

At first cochise had welcomed the white men. Then one day in 1861, Cochise received a message from Lt. Bascom, the leader of the white soldiers, that he wanted to see him. Cochise took five members of his family to the meeting. He did not think it would be dangerous.

Cochise and his relatives went into Bascom's tent. Soldiers suddenly surrounded it. Bascom said, "Cochise, you and your warriors stole cattle from the ranch of John Ward. You also took a half~breed boy."

Cochise had heard about the boy. He told the soldiers, "My people did not take the boy or steal the cattle. Some other Apaches did. They are at Black Mountain. I will talk to them. Maybe I can convince them to give back the boy and the cattle."

But Lt. Bascom did not believe Cochise. He blamed Cochise again. At first Cochise thought Bascom was joking. But then Bascom ordered the soldiers to arrest Cochise and his family. He said he would hold them hostage until the half-breed boy and the cattle were returned.

Cochise quickly slashed a hole in the tent with his knife. He jumped out and ran very fast. The soldiers fired their rifles after him. Cochise was wounded. He had gotten free, but Bascom still had the other members of his family.

Cochise decided to make a deal with Bascom. He captured 3 white men. He wanted to trade the white men for his relatives. But Bascom would not agree. He said, "You must also trade the cattle and the boy.

Cochise was angry. Bascom would not believe his people. They had not stolen the cattle or the boy. Cochise decided to fight the soldiers. He gave Bascom one more chance to trade. Then he killed the three white men. A few days later Bascom got even by killing three of Cochise's male relatives.

It was at this point in history that the Apaches came to hate the white men. For the next 25 years they fought. These battles became the most costly in lives and treasure of all the Indian wars.

*Underlined words may be discussed after reading. They should not be underlined until after reading, however.




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