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references.
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Any hyphens occurring in line breaks have been removed; hyphens
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The publisher's advertisement, following p. 219, has been omitted.
(illustration)

By
"It's like drawing a tooth," said he, "to come
into this horrid room and this chair. I know it will all be right by the
time I get out of it, but you make me go through torments
before that happy moment arrives. So now for it. Do your worst, and end by giving me command of the money."
"Just as I had arranged with the banker, to give you credit for
necessary expenses for the next three months--"
"That can't be helped. It makes not the slightest difference
to this sum. This is a wholly unnecessary expense."
"With a little prudence, and the great storm that swept down your
Gloucestershire timber, you might have got on till rent day, and then paid
the banker with the rents, neglected the butcher, and gone on
again."
"Well, I'm glad you think 5000l.
is an equivalent for only a little prudence. So I have committed no great
excess after all. It ought to be all the easier for you to supply
me."
"It is, however, not easy at all," said Mr. Pointz,
gloomily. "But I have met with one expedient, the success of which I
shall know in the course of the evening, and would have sent you
word--"
"If I had not been in such a devil of a hurry? But I want to be
clear of the thoughts; for although I never make myself miserable except in
this accursed room, there is always the sense that I shall have to
go through it, till it is done. So what is it?"
"I have offered to sell the living of the Homestead to a man, with
as good as immediate possession."
"Oh, that can't be. I've given it away."
"Impossible!"
"Mr. Greswold knows I have," said he.
"You have it not to give," said Mr. Pointz.
"It belongs to the man to whom you are in debt."
"No, it belongs to Edward Winspear, my cousin. I promised him that
should it become vacant he should have it."
"Of course that was conditional to possessing it yourself. He is
too much a man of honour to remind you of a promise of which the conditions
are altered."
"And what becomes of me, if I say one thing and do
another?"
"It is no matter what you say, if you have spoken of a thing which
you have not, either to give or to keep. That thing is already passed from
your power; you have no power to touch it twice."
"But the first touch was for Edward. This wretched
horse-race has nothing to do with property that can concern
him."
"Well, where else shall we get the money?"
"Hang that civil, undeniable voice of yours. It always means you
must come to my proposal at last."
"No, I beg you to supply a suggestion?"
"As if I knew anything in the world about it; as if I had the
smallest idea what I have, what I owe, what I want."
"You can think of nothing besides the living, then?" said
Pointz.
"You know that only too well."
"There's one thing to be said. More church patronage is in
your power; for instance, the living of Ball is worth more than this. Why
not propose that to Mr. Winspear instead of the
Homestead."
"That's the very thing," cried Lord Ennavant.
"It is worth more, is it?"
"Yes; by 200l.
a-year."
"But is that living vacant too?"
"Not exactly."
"How much does it want of being so?"
"Nay, nobody can calculate on human life."
"How old is the holder?"
"Oh, never mind. He's quite forty, or more."
"Forty! an infant. Why, he has thirty more years to live, by the
Bible."
"Well, as to that, the Homestead itself is not ready. Mr. --
is ill, but may recover; there is no reason why he should not
recover."
"May he? Then you can't get the money for his living, my
dear Pointz, and I am right again."
"But I meant to tell you that the gentleman to whom I wrote is
willing to look upon
the Homestead as immediate possession, and offers me 5000l. for the next presentation. True, you may have to
present some very old life to whom my client would be the immediate
successor."
down the drive as fast as his excellent hack could carry him.
to his house. But then, it is true, this was the season for great shooting
parties, which Edward did not very much frequent, and to which the host
generally invited other pheasant-shooting lords and squires;
but he occasionally included every neighbour he had, partly to oblige them
and partly that he took pleasure himself in the joyous circle he thus
assembled.
them. The daughter, Camilla, sat between two of our best fellows; and
before the soufflé's and gelée's arrived, gaped
in their faces without any reserve. She "hoped they would forgive
her; but whether they did or not, she must gape," she said. "It
was peculiar to her when she felt very stupid. She was sorry to be so
stupid, and could not think the reason."
only; the thing is arranged, you'll be glad to hear, so that we shall
have the pretty little phaeton just as before; all right; ain't you
glad?"
"Who are you, pray? What is your squiredom--your status in the
world. There will be plenty of time, as it strikes me, this evening, to
give us your history, beginning, 'When I was a pretty boy with
auburn ringlets.'"
another thing. Are you the park-keeper? or are you a scion of the
family come on the wrong side of the blanket? It's not your fault,
you know."
of rain, which prevented everybody from stirring out. Billiards were
resorted to but quite spoiled for the real players, by the participation of
Miss Nation. She affected great science, and talked in the most
ridiculous manner of the movements of the game; they did not know whether
to laugh or cry, and all who could escape preferred conservatory and a
cigar, or the anteroom and a newspaper, to the young lady and the
profaned billiard table.
things; each one of which I did say, well amused myself at the part
allotted. I was called stupid, I begged pardon for it, and was
re-admitted to favour. I was severely tapped with a
paper-knife, and I
kissed my arm where her hand had administered the blow; and in short made
myself her humblest slave, and was exhibited as such to the rest.
happiness of hearing her false laugh, by which she loudly solicited the
attention of those about her.
talking to one or two dowagers of the county, the latter reading a novel
which she did not lay down when we came in, but in which she looked
absorbed in that manner which people put on when they mean to be
disturbed.
this I was compelled to look for and come back without, inasmuch as it was
not there; I took up, however, an enormous open-carriage cloak,
being resolved to baffle the clang of laughter with which I knew it
was her intention to receive my return from the fruitless journey, and
inquiring if that was right, I proceeded to put it over her shoulder, with
so much discomposure to her head-dress, that she could not
persuade herself my innocence of face and voice was genuine.
she; "you can't hear--what's the matter? Oh, I see,
you have eyes only for that Miss Something or other by the pianoforte. Are
you going to marry her?"
is the only art that can keep a man happy; alas! that reflection comes too
late!"
not see the absolute necessity. But he will."
his uncle's. The Colonel also, would make a capital head of the
house."
to keep their own position as their sole point of view. In the first place
Lord Ennavant is very young, and if he marries, the first male child that
is born to him, enables him to cut down timber and resettle most
of the estate without waiting till it comes of age, or indeed does anything
but breathe the vital air."
desperately," said Pointz, "considering that the first step
towards a wife is not yet taken. Let us say two years."
that she would meet some one before I saw her again who would amuse her
better than I, whom perhaps she would love; who would certainly love her.
My brain was always contriving reasons for passing her door, for
going into paths where I had ever met her, for doing services to people in
whom she had any concern. I weighed every word and look to find some
interest excited in her bosom for me. Alas! it was in vain; friendly,
equable, kindly, as she was, I could not think any warmer feeling ever
arose; and compelled as I felt myself to look contented, and try to be
agreeable, it was often with death in my heart that I watched her in
society, and was forced to acknowledge that she often forgot my very
existence.
men, and received unanimously for answer hat they were going nowhere
particular, I determined to go there myself also, and followed the
direction in which they were seeking it.
caught my eye, beckoned to me to come near.
that the crowd would probably make no opposition when ordered by
magisterial authority to disperse, and that Mr. Pointz would have but to go
among them with the constable and declare his purpose to commit anyone who
persisted in the unlawful meeting, in order to get rid of the whole
assembly.
one unacquainted with the character of an English mob, whose respect for
the law enables the single arm which possesses authority to sway the brute
force of multitudes. Here were hundreds of men assembled to do and
witness what they knew to be illegal, and yet they did not trust to their
power to do so, but to their concealment from the individuals who had a
right to forbid them.
the crowd. The crowd also became aware of the interruption coming upon
them, and from amongst their ranks rose an angry murmur of voices,
increasing rapidly as the moment of collision approached, and becoming so
loud and so unlike the former mere hum of the multitude, that Ruth rushed
from her retreat, and came with frightened eyes to look down on what might
befall her father.
will. He rode one of a favourite race of horses, for which he was well
known in the neighbourhood; a small, fiery-looking Arab, docile as a
dog, but excitable and demonstrative, as was natural to its high
blood and high keep.
which, like broken ice, was melting in fragments behind the authorities, I
made my way up to the other side of the Arab, and with all the pride and
folly of youth, rejoiced in the tumult, and in feeling my strength
against resistance.
a little billow as this on the back of the big wave.
myself, "It would be better if she hated me," but a passing
incident occurred which tempted me to hope that at least I was no more
unsuccessful in interesting her than were others.
told him at once what had been the adventure of the evening, and he, to
whom all the light biography of the folks about him was matter of
considerable interest, took great delight in the details.
failed to receive any approving sign from Ruth, "won't you let
me plead that Miss Winspear's home and mine are in the same line,
while yours lies in the opposite direction?" But I could not
see the force of this argument, and persevered in discharging my trust.
perceived that he must be merely amusing a passing fancy, it vexed me to
the heart to think that the mother no doubt cherished ambitious projects,
and that it was too possible Ruth herself might be won by such fair,
though, as I said to myself, false appearances.
was an actress, to allow space for any new thoughts and wishes to enter her
heart. The time might yet come when other objects would interest her, and
when the happiest of human beings might obtain a share of those
calm, honest, and affectionate feelings which had as yet no expression
except for her home and those who occupied it. The possibility lighted up
the future, as a twilight hardly yet different from the night,
promises to become the bright-coloured morning of a summer day; and
I could not but consider within myself what chances there existed for me
that such a blissful lot might yet be mine.
rendered her, and I perceived that she cast about for information as to my
views and situation in life. Plainly the future prospects of her two girls
must be a subject of anxiety to her, for the chief part of
Colonel Winspear's income was for life merely, and the straitness of
even their present circumstances was a matter of every-day
observation.
not expected; greeted, but never waited for.
her father occupied the places on the coach. Who else composed the party I
did not know, except the Dowager, who was inside with the glasses up.
is room;" and she gathered together her cloak and her
drawing-book, which filled a place at her side.
being over, I made the most cheerful return possible to the adieux bestowed
on me, and resumed my place in the phaeton.
assented to everything, and only woke to what he was saying when I heard
him laugh, and turned very angrily upon him to see what there was to laugh
at.
him arrive, and not five minutes after go away again. Next time that I met
Ruth, I could not help saying that I had noticed how hasty was his
visit.
of it, less happy, less cheerful than had been at the beginning. There was
an alteration in the calm, contented eyes which used to meet me, a want of
interest in little matters which looked as if some great interest
pressed too hardly on attention. I could not be certain, but I was very
much awake to whatever signs I could observe.
go where I wished I were, and found I was at the gate before I scarcely
knew it. Thence I could see the best part of the enclosure surrounding the
house, and in a minute or so I perceived that Ruth herself was
there, walking quickly through the avenue of lime trees, rather as it
should seem for exercise than pleasure.
the park since their full glory of blossoms had come upon them.
propose to give a less price than the world."
do not talk of it. It is my own affair, and no one has a right to interfere
in it."
given--whatever remains to me of myself; and you know, yes, I am
certain you know, I have everything to beg, to entreat from you, but have
already lost all to you."
thought you were kindly taking. You can't help observing, but refrain
from speaking; every family has its private matters, and a stranger does
harm by meddling with them."
away. "Forgive me; at least do so much, and I will go."
was not possible she should have been so blind to it as her words would
lead me to suppose. Why had I not wrung an answer from her by words plainer
still than those I had used--yet could words be plainer? Yes;
if I could but see her again, I would cry 'I love you!' and be
able to tell myself her answer; but should I have advanced my own cause by
obtaining that answer? Had not she said, "a stranger who
meddles only does harm;" yet, on the other hand, she had said,
"You have been, you are very welcome"--words by themselves
of such enchanting meaning, but uttered at that time, with that voice,
they denied their own import. What could be in her thoughts?
moving. I sat down in the profound silence, and every sound that broke it
made me start up and draw near to listen.
louder each time that it was resumed after passing through them.
awakened probably by the near sound; and walked on to the door, which I
could see was unclosed before they came up to it, and I fancied that Ruth
had been watching for her father, and that her hand it
was which had been so ready to welcome him, or must I say
them, for another besides her father had entered those
doors.
be with her; the current of the day would bring that happiness in its
regular course.
with him, I took my horse, and with one sole purpose, traversed fields and
woods, and in every likely and unlikely place did my endeavours to meet
Ruth, for to go to her house I had made impossible. If any one spoke
to me, what his object might be, mine was to discover whether
he could give me a clue to meeting her.
shepherd, "I have something to say to him."
moment, as a passer-by might do, and they, continuing their
progress, seemed to include me in their party, so that I rode forward with
them.
having accidentally met Colonel Winspear had ventured to propose taking up
his abode for a couple of nights at the Homestead.
be regretted, hoped for, despaired of, cursed; I shall have a place in
their heads for a few hours, but it will be the same to-morrow, and
I shall have enjoyed this far-off ride."
Winspear spoke to me, but I did not know what he said; I answered at
random; I addressed Ruth, and observed only that I interrupted what she was
saying to Lord Ennavant. I did not know what she said to me in reply,
and altogether I was so little what I ought naturally to have been, that
Colonel Winspear said to me--
pressed by my heel, did I tear over the open Down. The fury of jealousy
burned within me, and mad exercise seemed to give it some other prey to
consume besides my own heart. I galloped till I felt the gallant brute
begin to relax in his own voluntary exertion, and then, as suddenly as I
had started, I checked him into the slowest pace he would adopt, and with
utter dejection begin to ponder upon what had passed.
his addresses would be out of the question. Could the lofty, generous, true
Ruth be moved to marry farms and houses, a title, and a case of
diamonds?
intention of making it her residence for the rest of the year. She was in
poor health, and wished for quiet. All was to be economical and prudent;
and Mr. Pointz looked forward to months of absence on the part of
the owner of the estate, during which he should be able to apply his own
salutary measures of reform.
of life can be again what he and his mother are to each other.
bitterest jealousy another free to go and come, and assuming, as if by
right, the place which to me would have been the highest privilege that
earth could bestow.
manifested for Ruth seemed to have subsided to a lower pitch during his
absence in London, and he no longer behaved towards her as the eager
admirer he had lately been.
not. I certainly got fewer invitations to the house, but on the most candid
examination into the cause of this, I did honestly attribute it to
something going wrong in the family rather than to any loss of kindness
on the part of Colonel or Mrs. Winspear to myself. One day I made my way
into the Homestead on pretence of borrowing an Act of Parliament from
Colonel Winspear, and had afterwards joined his wife and daughter where
they were sitting under the plane-tree. An autumn sun beaming on
autumn flowers made the garden a sheet of glory; and the woods which
covered the indentations of the hill-side lay partly in deep
shadow, partly in a bright light which caught the golden sycamores and
scarlet wild cherry in their autumnal garments.
and was sewing, not for amusement--it was evidently but for utility.
She made way for me on the bench and silently worked on, while her mother
asked me about this or that little matter of interest.
time. I was vexed that she took up his cause, and went on
spitefully--
Ennavant is not often very glad when he has done amusing her for the day,
and she can rest from his subjects."
all humility made her the friendliest of obeisances. She answered it as
though she had seen neither the coldness nor the warmth of my two
salutations.
acknowledged as her admirer, and whose admiration must increase as he came
to be her companion day after day.
Some new phase of the painful circumstance arises on which the mind is glad
to dwell in place of the first: it begins to look about for relief, and to
extract the healing part instead of the first poison. If nothing
of this happens--if the body and mind are not elastic and
self-helpful, they yield, and the man is beaten.
back very soon. She herself is willing to stay at present."
tient to learn all about his reasons for leaving Ruth when he might have
been near her, "is quite imperative."
idea in my mind brought them to me under my own point of view. I could not
believe she intended me so to understand them; and yet in the confusion of
the moment I was not able to disentangle my ideas from that
meaning. I squeezed her hand till the ring on her fourth finger hurt
me, and muttered about happiness and possibility. She said
some words, but they were only ghosts of words that do not lend themselves
to be written, yet seem to have a meaning, and then rang the bell for
coals, and said also that she was going to hear her little boy's
Latin lesson, would I come too?
what was it that they all believed I must know, and must have observed; and
yet that I did not know, and had not observed, anxious as I was and alive
to impressions?
when there was no sacrifice required; and beyond all doubt it was out of
the question that Ruth's regard, could have fixed on one who did not
already adore her; one also whose character was so little worthy of
her--so slight, so selfish--so dependent for his interests on the
flimsy things of the world. Yet how easy he made life, how gay and smooth;
her serious character might fancy merit in that--might be
deceived! But no, no; surely that conjecture must be impossible.
Lord and all were no longer men, they were guns. And what sort of society
in a house was a gun? What should Ruth care for a gun? Or for a whip
either? And what was he other or better than a whalebone whip or an iron
gun? Would he just hold his wife
probably, if looked at steadily, would have done as the star did to
Béranger, file, file, file, et
disparait.
my summons by its mistress, availed my self of the well-known garden
gate which led through the shrubbery, the footway to the house.
me to go into the garden, and she shut the door, but I listened, and I
heard her cry."
and at once, without delay, I left the house on the errand she had given
me.
"but I shall not help her mother;" and ashamed of my
selfishness, I sought some other means. Now I had in my bank account more
than the sum required myself; and my first idea was to bring it to Mrs.
Winspear, and say it came from her nephew.
much shorter time than I could have done had I been all the way to the
Castle. I went straight through the garden to the room where I had left
Mrs. Winspear, and would have pushed open the door, had not a sound
within of voices stopped me. One was the voice of a man, the other was Mrs.
Winspear, and she was speaking with tears in the sound of what she said,
and bitter trouble.
running on how to save butter and eggs, caught concealing some unknown
cavalier. And then she herself opened the door at which I had knocked, and
no one was within, only her own manner said as plainly as words could
have said, 'I have got a secret, and you are not so much as to
suspect it.'"
rising in her eyes; and then I felt sure I should prevail, and so I did;
but the consequence to me was that I could not say a word on the subject
that filled my thoughts, for could I ask her to befriend my suit,
after had laid her under some little obligation? There need be no answer to
that question.
gazing over it in some hope Ruth might take this walk in the course of the
day.
another by the movement of his hands. Ruth at one moment turned her head on
Peter's shoulder, and, I believe, did so to hide tears, or some
emotion, for the eldest caught hold of the hand that was free, and
yet it was a little while before she re-turned her head to him, and
when she did she rose suddenly and flung herself into his arms. Peter got
up also, and those three Geschwister, those brethren, stood there
seemingly consulting over or discussing some interesting passage in the
life of one, or all, wherein they were giving a mutually helping hand.
knew, present harms from poverty and adverse fortune. What might be the
prevailing feeling of this moment and interview I knew not; whether good or
evil had befallen them I could not tell. I, who would have taken my
full share of the sorrow, or rejoiced in the blessing, was quite excluded.
I was alone there, and they were three.
sister in her proper place," said George. And Ruth, just heard by me,
uttered two words which carried meaning as painful as death. "Dear
Ennavant," she murmured; I heard, or conceived all this from
what I heard, and it struck me that kind of blow on the heart which shows
the very place where matter and spirit join. I drew back softly, so as to
be certain not to meet them at the moment, and diving into the
thicket of the wood, made my way beyond all paths, where I was safe to be
alone. What but one thing could explain those fatal words? She was
confessing to those two friends of her counsel since speech began, that
her heart had wishes which were hardly hopes, though both of them looked on
some prosperous change as certain.
fraternal secret speculations on an event too probable, and which, if it
made Ruth happy, would make me miserable for the immutable "for
ever" of a young lover.
Mr. Pointz was too selfish to wish himself disturbed by the troubles of his
neighbours, and too unskilful in human nature to get at them even had he
wished it;but he was not without penetration, and probably saw
enough to divert himself with the ordinary subjects of ridicule. At all
events, in the midst of a silence which both of us had observed while
pursuing our several occupations, he broke out with the
observation--
"What are you talking of? I don't understand you in the
least. But do you mean that I should do Edward no grievance--no
injustice if I could promise him this other thing? Mr. Greswold, you know
best. Tell me, did he look upon what I said as any serious
promise?"
"You said you would write," I answered. "I told him
so, by your desire."
"Ay, write, if the thing could be managed," said Mr.
Pointz.
"Nay, tell me exactly," interposed Lord Ennavant;
"tell me the words he said. Let me understand?"
Page 8
"It seemed to be an agreeable prospect to him," I began.
"But did he say he depended on it? Did he consider that I had
taken any engagement--that is what I want to know?"
"His words, I think, were--'I will never remind him of
it,'" I answered, feeling how much higher my friend stood than
this needy young patron.
"He took it in the right light," said Mr. Pointz. "He
was aware of the impossibility."
"He and you," said Lord Ennavant to me, "can afford to
act magnificently. Bare payment of debt is enough for me. Pull me through
somehow," he added, to Mr. Pointz, rising and shaking his
leg right in his boot. "Well, good morning; it's a sorry
business," and he left us as hastily as he came, trotting away
Page 9
"Now, he'll trouble himself no more," said Pointz,
"till the next debt drives him again to my 'horrid
room.'"
These things look ugly enough when they are passing, and people at a
distance see them long afterwards, and see nothing else; but close at hand
they slide into a man's general hospitality, and power of
exercising it; into his good-humour, and desire to please, his good
shooting, pleasant table; and though one's esteem diminishes, nothing
outward is altered, and there is no lesson taught to the man by
the world's conduct towards him.
Thus it went with Lord Ennavant; he forgot the whole transaction, at
least showed no signs of recollecting it, except that, I think, he asked
Edward less frequently than before
Page 10
I was present at one of these latter parties, and I remember it struck
me, amidst all the festivity and luxury of the scene, that we did not
compose an assembly which he would have invited to meet his more
fastidious friends.
Never mind, thought I, I'll take what comes. Never was nicer
shooting than I had to-day at the corner of that covert, and never
was better fun than we had after dinner yesterday.
Page 11
While I thus meditated, I went into the library to get a newspaper
before dinner, and here I unexpectedly lighted upon a circle very unlike
what I thought was there; Lady Ennavant was present, a sight not seen
here at this hour on ordinary occasions; and opposite to her was a very
fine lady, in travelling costume, who seemed languidly getting through a
little talk necessary between arriving and going to her room.
A young lady, not pretty, but very well dressed, sat opposite the fire
talking to our host, who looked bored with her incessant chaff, and made
use of me as a means of escape.
"What do you want--the Times? Somebody has taken
it away. Look here, I think I put it down in the
ante-room--yes," and he went with me out of the room to
search for it,
where it certainly was not.
Page 12
"Two fine ladies," said he, "dropped from the skies on
my mother, who they say invited them. She has made a mistake, I suppose;
bores, both of them."
Then availing himself of the diversion afforded by the newspaper, he
turned away to his own rooms, and left the ladies to themselves.
I withdrew upstairs, much grieved at this interruption to our easy
condition; nor were my expectations falsified by the event, for that sort
of gloom pervaded the dinner table which comes over men who are
accustomed to men's parties, and who find themselves dumb in the
presence of high-bred women.
The mother, Mrs. Nation, sat by our host and bored him to death; but all
the anecdotes and allusions which were trite or vapid to him were mysteries
to the rest, and they could neither enter into them nor neglect
Page 13
The poor men on each side were mystified up to a point of desperation; I
could not help smiling to see them, and I believe the lady observed
this.
Page 14CHAPTER II.
WHEN the whole party was reassembled in the
drawing-room, she made violent efforts to appropriate Lord Ennavant,
and when at last he found an unanswerable reason for talking to some one at
the
other end of the room, she ran her eye insolently along the men, who were
huddled together about the fire, and fixing upon me bade me bring her a
footstool, if I would be so very good. This service rendered, she
went on--
"I came from Hertfordshire this morning
Page 15
"Not I, indeed," I answered. "I have not the least
conception of what you are talking."
"Is it possible?" said the lady.
"Nay, why not?" I said. "Surely you must perceive that
we are all very ignorant country indwellers. I am sure I cannot be wrong in
attributing such discernment to you?"
"That's well said," cried she, laughing loudly,
"and, to tell truth, I did not expect you would understand me; but I
hoped to mystify you."
I bowed in acknowledgment.
"But don't go away," she went on.
Page 16
"A fabulous period," said I, "no more authentic than
the hairs of Cassiopeia."
"What a schoolroom word!" said she. "In human English,
who are you?"
"I will tell you; my brother is--"
"Oh, hang your brother!" said the lady, "I don't
want to hear of him, nor even of your grand-aunt, though she should
be a Perkins. Who are you?"
"I am one of the --"
"I see--something you don't like to tell. But I myself
don't care the least in the world. It is perfectly indifferent to me
who my companion is; what he can say may be
Page 17
"Good heavens," thought I, "can she know what she is
saying?" and I felt the colour rise to my forehead. She laughed with
delight. "No fault, nor merit either," said I,
rallying. "But I am not that. Rather I am
'The tenth transmitter of a foolish face.' Do you
know, Miss Nation, who said that?"
"Was it Tennyson?" said she.
"No, it was not Tennyson," I answered, chuckling, and
somehow she thought I had much more meaning than I had, and broke off her
chaff.
Next day there was a steady down-pouring
Page 18
Under these circumstances she availed herself of me, and employed me to
fetch and carry, to hold skeins of worsted, even to waltz in the long
gallery, while an old companion the house played waltzes on the
pianoforte. She enticed me to say, or rather, as it were, laid down the
lines on which I saw the exact plan prepared for me to say silly
complimentary
Page 19
Before dinner that day, nearly all the party assembled, I had been
summoned by the lady to stand beside her chair, on pretence of giving her
an account of certain arrivals; and knew she intended me to remain
there, and to give her my arm to dinner, in order to set all the holders of
county rank at defiance. I was doing my best to maintain my post, by
quizzing according to my ability my good friends and neighbours, and
had the false
Page 20
"And what is that species of womankind?" she inquired, as
the door again opened. "A girl coming in alone," she added,
putting up her eye-glass. "Not a bad-looking
rustic either," and looking, I beheld Ruth enter the room.
I was dumb; I felt the hot blood rush into my face, but had no words
with which to continue the unmeaning dialogue, in presence of my most real
feelings. And while I hesitated I saw Lady Ennavant, who had
beckoned Ruth to her, bring her towards my new mistress, and introduce the
girls to each other, evidently in the hope of relieving herself from the
burthen which the fine lady was to her.
Page 21
Miss Nation bent her head disdainfully and heard Ruth's attempts
at conversation with the stiffest civility; then turned again to me, and
said familiarly, and but half aside--
"This is a favourable sample, I suppose, of the natives;"
but I heard her as one talking profanely of sacred things. I instantly left
her side, and went round to Ruth, who shook hands with me, and in
answer to my inquiries said she was here in compliance with a summons from
her aunt, who had sent over a message asking her to come to Winspear
Castle.
"I see why now," she added, in a low voice; and at this
moment dinner was announced.
I offered Ruth my arm, which she took, and not a moment too soon, for me
at least, for Lady Ennavant came up, saying--
Page 22
"You shall give your arm to Miss Nation as you are near
her--Oh, I beg your pardon," seeing that my arm was gone,
"Mr. --, take Miss Nation;" and the young lady moved off,
looking at me with a curiosity which seemed partly made up of compassion
for my ignorance of the blessing I might have enjoyed.
I perceived during dinner that she talked a great deal to her cavalier,
and very loudly; but being indifferent to what she might be saying, I did
not listen; and enjoyed the unexpected happiness of Ruth's
society, with a full return to the sincerity and simplicity of feeling and
purpose, of which I had lost sight while forced to act a part with the
artificial young lady.
In the drawing-room I found that Ruth and Camilla were on
opposite sides, the former
Page 23
It was not for me, however, to interrupt her studies; I left that to
more worthy in rank, and betook myself to Ruth, whom, with great humility,
I addressed, and was proud and pleased when I got her into
conversation.
I had quite forgotten the swift Camilla, and was much annoyed when her
voice from the other side of the room sounded my name across the
intervening space, and I found myself compelled to attend to the summons.
She wanted a shawl which she had left in the saloon she said, and which I
thought (though in the morning I should not have thought so) a footman
might as well have fetched; and
Page 24
She had, however, to make the best of it, in order to avoid whatever
ridicule would otherwise have fallen upon her, and she availed herself of
her right to send me to and fro, to detain me in talk, and to make me
her slave for the hour.
Page 25CHAPTER III.
MEANTIME my impatient eyes ever wandered to Ruth, who,
perfectly at ease, and offering herself with utter simplicity to the
assistance of her aunt in disposing of her company, moved about with quiet
grace, as unconscious of me as I was painfully conscious that she wasted no
thought upon me. Miss Nation perceived my pre-occupation, and she
was irritated at being postponed to anyone else, even by a humble
country acquaintance.
"You don't know what I'm saying," cried
Page 26
Again the bold Camilla succeeded in flushing my face with the burning
blood.
"No, no," I cried, fearful that Ruth sight overhear.
"Oh, you are afraid of carrying matters so far," said she.
"It is a mere neighbourly flirtation; I understand."
"What do you please to mean by It," asked I. "It is my
obedience to you, my countrified amazement at your high breeding, my rustic
ignorance of your tone, your manner. I
hope you'll excuse me; but I never saw anything like you, and I
can't admire enough. It's of no use now to remember that not to
admire
Page 27
She looked at me with sinister eyes. It struck her that I was not to be
trampled upon without some show of resistance at least. She let me go, by a
sudden call on her other neighbour to stir the fire; and the
moment I was free I wandered off to the side of Ruth, who, alas! received
me with an indifference which chastised me for the part I had just played,
and which quite absorbed all those feelings that might otherwise
have returned to Miss Nation. That lady, for her part, displayed some
little pique, for she never said another word to me; and next day when she
left the house, purposely stumbled over me as one unseen, in order to
show that she had merely meant "to break my heart before she went to
town."
Page 28
"What an odious creature!" I said to Mr. Pointz, as we
talked her over.
"Nevertheless she must be Lord Ennavant's wife," said
he.
"His wife! and he scarcely spoke civilly to her."
"No, he does not know it; but it is so. He wants
money, of which she has a vast store; and she and it are to be had by the
first man who has got anything she fancies to give in
return."
"And her fancy is set on a coronet, is it?"
"Yes; she came here, knowing there was one on sale, to see if she
could buy it."
"But the wearer looks very little disposed to sell."
"I don't know that. At present he does
Page 29
"And then he'll marry her, getting nothing but money, and
flinging away his own happiness, and deceiving her into giving away
hers."
"As to his own he has forfeited his right to it; he has sold it by
spending twice as much as he has, and the girl's object is not at all
to be happy,--it is to be a countess."
"Well, well, they have an object each of them; and if they are
satisfied, the sooner they marry the better."
"Why so?" said Pointz, laughing.
"Nay, his marriage would secure the estate in the direct line. It
is always good to have an heir to a great estate, is it not?"
"Yes: but there are plenty of sons at
Page 30
"Do you think so? He is very useful where he is, and they are all
very happy. It would be a great change in their habits."
"Not by any means a disagreeable one; though I do believe, except
the elder lady, there is not one of them lets the idea enter into their
speculation."
"I'm sure they don't. They have laid all their plans,
quite beside any such notions; they are very happy, they are getting on
very well, the boys are all training for professions."
"The girls," said Mr. Pointz, taking up my words, where I
hesitated, "likely to make charming wives--are not
they?"
"For anything I know," said I, in answer very gravely.
"Well, " said Pointz, "they are very wise
Page 31
"Indeed!" said I, drawing a draught of vital air which did
me infinite good, for the statement removed so much of long fear and doubt
whether Ruth would not soar above me before I had gained such an
interest in that noble heart as would secure it to me independently of
every possible change of circumstance. "Then in a twelvemonth all
Colonel Winspear's share of the property and title too may be cut
off," I added.
"Nay, that is carrying on the matter
Page 32
"Two, three, a dozen, for aught I care," said I, lying
unconscionably as I did say it.
Yes, indeed, Ruth was in all my thoughts; everything that happened or
was done, bore in some way or other upon Ruth. In the morning, my first
thought was what chance existed that I should see her; if I saw her I
analysed every look and word; and, after being happy all the time I could
prolong my stay near her, I was miserable because perhaps she took leave of
me without looking me in the face, or with three fingers instead
of her whole hand.
When I knew that she was going out, or when I had to leave home, I felt
a conviction
Page 33
Page 34CHAPTER IV.
SOMETIMES, however fate was my friend, and forced me on her
notice. For instance, one summer's evening as I was riding at no
great distance from the Homestead, I observed an unusual number of
rough-looking men who were strangers to me proceeding in one
direction.
The neighbourhood was so far removed from any extraordinary excitement
in general, that I could not but remark the circumstance, and when I had
question several of the
Page 35
In no long time I perceived the attraction of the living stream. A broad
meadow spread itself between two low ridges of hill a little distance from
the high road, and when, in pursuit of the scattered group, I
had quitted the road and come upon the grassy heights, I perceived below me
a crowd collected in the meadow, who were pressing round a space cleared in
their centre, and here a number of men were hurriedly setting
up ropes upon posts which others were driving into the ground, and which
they had nearly formed into a large circle, out of which they drove all
such spectators as attempted to occupy it.
Page 36
It was plain they had fixed on this secluded spot for a pugilistic
encounter, and I drew as near as I could, looking with tranquil delight at
these preparations for violence.
While thus engaged my ear was caught by what seemed the echo of my own
name, but being predisposed by the place and circumstance to doubt the
possibility that any one present should desire my company, I gave no
attention until a repetition of the impression roused me to give heed, and
then looking round on all sides I perceived at some distance from the crowd
two figures, the last I was thinking of at the moment, though at
no time was one at least very far from my thoughts. They were no other than
Colonel Winspear and Ruth, and the former, as soon as he had
Page 37
"I must stop this breach of the peace," said he to me, when
I came up. "I want a magistrate. Is Mr. Pointz at home?"
"Yes," I answered; "I think so. Shall I go for
him?"
"No, I must go. Lend me your horse, and, Mr. Greswold, will you
take Ruth to the farm-house across there? It is by an unlucky
accident that she is here."
I dismounted of course at once, and without a moment's delay he
sprang into the saddle, and trotted away at a great pace.
"We were walking," said Ruth to me, "and without the
least notice came upon this crowd. What is it all? Is my father
safe?"
I explained that he was so undoubtedly;
Page 38
"But suppose they do persist?" said Ruth.
"Oh, why then--but they will not."
"My father will be exposed to their insolence as much as Mr.
Pointz."
"He will do whatever Mr. Pointz does, I suppose," I
answered; "but I am certain there is no kind of danger."
"One more on their side might make them safer," said Ruth.
"You will stay here, will you not?"
"I will secure your safety first," I said, "and then I
am ready for anything."
Page 39
"My safety?--then you are not sure that there is no
danger?"
"None whatever for a man, not the slightest; but for you it is
different. Inconvenience there may be--the disagreeableness of a
crowd--pray let me go with you till all such danger is
passed?"
"As far as the farm-house," said Ruth; and into this
she herself retreated, insisting that I should watch the scene which lay
just below the garden, and should give her my promise that if I saw
any occasion to join her father when he should reappear, I would do so
without thinking any more of her.
The house was placed upon the slope of the hill, exactly above the
meadow wherein the assembly was held. From the edge of the garden therefore
I watched all that went on below. It wore a formidable appearance to
any
Page 40
Expectation rose every moment, and the loud hum of voices reached me
where I stood, as the champions came from the opposite sides attended by
their seconds, and entered the ring prepared for the combat.
At the same time I saw, hastily coming over the brow of the opposite
hill, Colonel Winspear and Mr. Pointz, both on horseback, and making their
way with all speed towards
Page 41
What we saw, standing there together, was exciting--to her
especially--for she could not believe in the safety of two men who
were thus alone on one side, while dense hundreds formed the party opposed
to them.
Mr. Pointz was an old man, whose white hair fell round his head in
masses; he retained the upright character of his spare frame, but the
feebleness of age was apparent, though what he did asserted the vigour of
his
Page 42
Colonel Winspear, on the other hand, as he sprang from his horse, and
gave it into the care of some one he knew among the crowd, stood by the old
man and his haughty little steed, a perfect model of manly
proportions in their best perfection. His strength, his vigorous health,
his air of command, seemed a match for the wills of all the multitude
around him, and laying his hand lightly on the Arab's bridle, he
moved forward at its side in among the crowd.
Ruth could not bear it without an effort to guard him from harm.
Page 43
"You could help," said she to me, laying her eager hand on
my arm; "it would be better if a third person were there. See how the
people press upon them. They are stopped--the horse strikes
out his foot--there, see, they give way a little, and my father is
deeper in the crowd. Oh! run, Mr Greswold, share his danger; will you
not?"
"I wish there were any danger to share," I cried,
"that I might obey you; but I will see you safe into the house, and
join them instantly. You must do that first;" and
catching her hand, I ran with her to the door.
What pleasure to say you must to Ruth, to oblige her to
obey me, though in so small a matter. And then I rushed down the hill, and
forcing my way through the crowd,
Page 44
"Gently, Greswold," said Colonel Winspear, smiling at me;
"you and Al Raschid hit too hard. The people are dispensing
already."
And, indeed, above the tumult of agitated men, Mr. Pointz made his voice
heard, forbidding them by his authority as a magistrate from proceeding
with the unlawful combat they came to witness, and declaring that
whoever countenanced it after this warning he should commit to the
constable, who with a hang-dog look of dislike to his office, was
behind him.
Page 45
The crowd heard, and many a murmur, many an oath arose; they began to
look at one another, and to acknowledge that it was all over with their
amusement. The pugilists had disappeared; figures could be seen
retreating up the hill side; the assembly was breaking up.
We stood firm, pacifying the Arab while the flood pushed by us, the less
courteous as some little violence was the only gratification they could
obtain for their own disappointment. Business likewise was attended
to. I felt among the stress of the multitude a sudden increase of the
pressure, and then the hand of one of them deep in my pocket. I was as
quick as he, and grasping the hand with a malignant intensity, I gave it a
wrench which made my heart glad, and then loosed it, for there was no good
in getting such
Page 46
I saw a fellow going off nursing his right hand, and I was not good nor
pitiful, but wished venomously he might be suffering all the pain which his
action suggested. I should have been glad of more of the same
sort of thing, but Mr. Pointz and Colonel Winspear shared none of my
amusement, and desired only the end they came for; which, being obtained,
they disentangled themselves with speedy deliberation from the crowd,
and we were presently all three once again alone together.
"And now," said the latter, "I have some business here
still to do; let me keep your horse, Mr. Greswold, and be so kind as to see
Ruth in safety to her home. I know I may trouble
you."
Page 47
Proud and pleased, I eagerly accepted the office, and at a few bounds
rejoined the lady of my idolatry, who had beheld with anxious eyes the
scene she but half understood, and now came forward to receive the
assurance that all was over.
"You are to take care of me?" said she, laughing, as I
delivered my message from her father. "What is there to be afraid of
more than on all the other days, when I go everywhere on my own
errands."
I tried to make the most of wandering spectators of the late combat and
the unusual influx of strangers.
"At all events," said Ruth, "my father gives you the
commission--let us go on."
"Very much against your will, I fear," said I, a little
grieved and a little piqued.
Page 48
"Not in the least," said Ruth, looking up at me. "Why
should it be?"
And the question was proposed as though I could answer it, and give some
reason she was not aware of.
"Are you busy?" said Ruth, after a few seconds' pause.
"If you are, don't hesitate for a moment to say so. I am
perfectly safe."
"And I perfectly useless," I answered; "but let me
obey Colonel Winspear, and yet not disobey you. Do not forbid me to
accompany you?"
"Not I, certainly," said Ruth; "I only wanted to save
you trouble."
And nothing could be plainer than that in fact she thought me quite as
unconcerned as herself, whether we went on together or alone. Like other
foolish fellows in love, I said to
Page 49
Page 50CHAPTER V.
WE were within sight of the Homestead, and at about half a mile
distant from it across the fields, when we saw Lord Ennavant riding at a
good pace toward the castle. He also perceived us, and, turning
his horse in our direction, came across a hedge and ditch which was between
us, and pulled up in our front, looking well as he reined up his beautiful
steed. He addressed Ruth half as Miss Winspear, half as Ruth,
undecided which to say, and, leaping from his horse, gave it to his groom,
and walked on by her side. She
Page 51
"And the little Arab laid about him, did he? Was he
frightened?"
"No, merely excited; he shook his head and danced with one foot
forward, like a horse at Franconi's, and the crowd thought he meant
malice."
"And Pointz--I can fancy him--sat like a part of the
Arab, grave and pale, and full of business; and my uncle looked like a man
who would allow no joking, forcing his way as if it were no laughing
matter, and must be over at once; while Mr. Greswold was delighting, I
suppose, in the scuffle, and looking out for the chance of a
fight."
Page 52
"That's very well imagined," said
Ruth, "as far as I could see from the
bank."
"Why did you hazard yourself to look at them?" said Lord
Ennavant to her. "You should have thought more of the many whom you
safety claimed."
"It could concern nobody so much as me," said Ruth;
"and I found no occasion whatever to doubt it. My father, however,
fancied there might be some peril from the crowd about, and asked Mr.
Greswold to look to me home, but there's no kind of
occasion."
"I think," said he, "I, as your cousin, ought to claim
that privilege;" but to this I put in a decided negative, pleading
the commission I had received.
"Nevertheless," said Lord Ennavant, growing more earnest in
proportion as he
Page 53
"Say, Miss Winspear," I urged, "could I answer to
Colonel Winspear if I did less than he enjoined me?"
"He would not care," said Ruth.
"Exactly," said Lord Ennavant, triumphant; "you allow
that I should have the superior claim."
"Claim! for what?" said Ruth.
"To see you to your own door."
"No, not at all--there's no claim belonging to anybody
but myself. Nobody else has anything to care about in the
matter."
Page 54
"At least, decide between us," said Lord Ennavant.
"It does not signify the least in the world," said Ruth.
"I think I will go alone. I shall like that much best--thank you
both. Good-bye--good-bye!" and turning
away she lightly took the path to the Homestead, and left us looking at
each other.
"Plantés," said Lord Ennavant; "that little
girl has the hardiest heart I know--she cares for nobody."
The fact which had thus struck him increased the fancy which I suspected
he had already entertained to insinuate himself more or less into this
hardest heart. He took a fit of making her small presents, and
offering her such attentions as were practicable; and though with
indomitable clear-sightedness, I
Page 55
One morning that I called at the Homestead with one of those numerous
errands invented by my imagination to gain me admittance, Ruth came into
the room prepared, in her grey cloak, for walking, and held an open
note towards her mother. "Ennavant," she said, "has sent
to propose a drive to the lake, and will be here in half an hour. You will
go, won't you? and take Katie. I am going to the school,
mother."
"Can't you put off the school? He won't care for
Katie, my dear."
Page 56
"Oh, no; I don't care for driving, at all events. I really
am busy."
"I know that, but you might afford yourself this
pleasure."
"Only it would be none; and tell him, please, I am very much
obliged for the books he sent me, and give them back, will you?"
"But you have not read them?"
"Oh, yes, I looked at one; but I do not want it. It is very good
no doubt of him, but I really had rather he would not trouble himself. I
can't think why he supposes I like such rubbish."
These words were all honey to my ears. Ruth, if indifferent towards me,
was at least equally insensible towards the homage offered her from other
quarters; and, in fact, it seemed that her time was too much
occupied, her attention too much excited by the interests in which she
Page 57
I did not avoid a suspicion that my friend Mrs. Winspear would have
looked kindly on me had I ventured to lift my hopes to her daughter. She
had an affection for me, through remembrance of the service I had
Page 58
It was not, therefore, without the prudential views as well as the keen
sight of a mother, that, as I fancied, Mrs. Winspear observed the
impression made upon me.
"Yours is a charming old place!" said she to me, reverting
to her acquaintance with it when she had been staying with her son.
"It looks like what it is indeed; is it not? the home of whole
generations of the same family. The very stones of the oldest part tell of
centuries."
Page 59
"Yes, indeed," said I. "The same people and the same
name were there in the time of Edward the Confessor. We have been so stupid
and so good as never to have increased, and never very much
diminished, the number of our acres."
"One shall find you name, therefore, in Mr. Drummond's book?
You are one of his nobility of England."
"Yes, if he has done us justice. Only we are not Saxon, I fear.
Our ancestors came over with Emma of Normandy."
"It is all the same," said Mrs. Winspear; "you have
been there--how long?"
"Hard on nine hundred years."
"That comes of the excellent law of entail," said Mrs.
Winspear. "Those old properties are saved by entail on the male heir;
and so, no doubt, yours has been."
Page 60
"No doubt," said I.
"No possessor ought to have the power of alienating so valuable an
object," she went on--"don't you think
so?"
"Well," I answered, "I don't think about
it."
"No, of course--no, I am sure you don't; you have too
great an affection for your brother; you wish him too well. But one cannot
shut one's eyes. What a sad thing his state of health is. I
am afraid he can never recover."
A charming place and a sad state of health! I could not but smile at the
conjunction, although I knew myself too well to fear such meanness in my
heart as ever so to speculate myself. That she should do so,
however, was a pleasant assurance of favour to me.
Page 61
It was an irritating one at the same time; for what was all the favour
in the world if none was entertained for me by Ruth? It was but smoothing
the whole path to Paradise, yet mocking me with exclusion at the
end. It was but making me welcome to that which, at the same time, it was
impossible to gain. I could not feel that I was anything but an outside
stranger to Ruth. Cheerfully greeted, cheerfully dismissed; my visits
looked upon as belonging to the family, not to her; any trifling offering I
could make--such as a rare fern, or a strange bird--thanked for,
because her mother would like it for the fernery, or her brother
for his specimens;--my horse, my dog, getting observation because they
were handsome, not because they were mine; and thus did I come and go, go
and come--welcome, but
Page 62
Meantime, though I was pretty sure that the father and mother were
clear-sighted to Lord Ennavant's ultimate indifference, how
could I be certain that the man who had so much to recommend him, might
not produce some stir in the heart he so assiduously assailed? His
advantages were obvious, and might win him a liking for the owner of them.
He was a master of rank, place, and all the immediate advantages of
fortune. He was able to offer amusements and presents which were altogether
out of my sphere; he was emboldened by his habitual welcome in the world,
to presume upon a welcome from her, and he had all the habits of
a man to whom society was kind, and whose good taste kept him from every
shade of vulgar presumption.
Page 63
It was true that I knew he was wanting in the purpose of life, and in
all the qualities useful and self-acting which Ruth possessed; but
could any one assert that those were the things to take her fancy,
or might she not add one to the example of the many who exactly love the
one person nobody expects them to love? And that might be, even to her own
bitter disappointment afterwards; yet did I dare say a word? Did I
dare presume on anything she might feel, or he might fail to feel? Not I; I
had to watch and suspect and chafe, and see him lavish his time and means
upon her. As for me, I had none of his adventitious advantages to
recommend me. I was in the category of those that work--he of those
that play.
Page 64CHAPTER VI.
ONE spring morning, mild and sunny--it was in Easter
week--Mr. Pointz fixed with me to drive to a farm a dozen miles off,
there to meet the agent of the estate, who was to bring a new tenant
with him, and arrange the drainings, the hedgings, the repair of buildings
necessary when a change of occupancy takes place. He had a capital
dowagering phaeton, low and light, driven by a postilion, so that the
occupants had nothing to do but to lean back and cross their hands on their
knees like women.
Page 65
It was pleasant enough. The air met us full of the spells of fresh earth
and budding leaves; "birds and bees and many-coloured
things" were in the woods and on the commons; the sky was clear as
it seemed up into infinity; and from a greater height than the eye could
mark such a point, the ear caught the song of a lark.
I was contented; I was conscious of well-being; but my ease faded
away, when from a turn taken by the road in the ascent of a hill we saw
Lord Ennavant's drag descending the upper part of the same
road, and approaching us. He was driving it himself, and it contained a
party whom he was escorting on some idle errand or other.
Beside him, on the box, there sat a young man, one of his own
contemporaries and companions, and immediately behind, Ruth and
Page 66
He stopped as we came alongside, and in his cheery, pleasant way greeted
to us both. His mother had something to say to her kinsman, Mr. Pointz, and
let down her glass to speak to him. I jumped from the phaeton
and got on the wheel, finding some subject to force a talk with Colonel
Winspear, and by that means with his daughter.
The master of the team joined in it.
"I have presented my cousin to bring her sketch-book to
Holmer Abbey, and we shall eat our luncheon among the spiders and the slugs
of the keep. Will you come with us; you have never been
there?"
"Do," said Ruth, "you had better. Here
Page 67
"Oh, no, no!" I cried, jumping down from the wheel, for I
knew very well I was going on duty, and had no right over myself, to sit by
the side of Ruth, and enjoy a whole day doing nothing. Why did she
say there was room? How could she know but what my fortitude would give
way, and I should do as she proposed?--she proposed it, too,
carelessly, just as if she were not putting me to a trial like that of a
man
on the rack, who could relieve his agony by saying a single word.
It was the thought that she did propose it carelessly, quite indifferent
whether I accepted or not, which perhaps strengthened me to abide by my
duty. At all events, I did so, and the conference at the carriage
window
Page 68
"How like a couple of fools we look" (thus ran my ungracious
meditation on Mr. Pointz and his carriage); "the old fool and the
young one, dragged where two quiet horses and one young postillion
please. How giddily that skilful driver guides his team down the hill;
there he checks them at the turn just enough to get easily round, and now
he spins on again--turning, too, and talking to Ruth. I wish, I
wish with all my heart, the leaders would get off the road, and the whole
concern be dashed down the slope, and everybody killed except Ruth, and I
be the one to save her."
Meantime Mr. Pointz was droning something about twenty-five
shillings per acre. I
Page 69
"Never mind," said he, "take a cigar;" and he
held out his case to me and offered a light. So we puffed on and arrived at
our journey's end.
Page 70CHAPTER VII.
THE following week all the household of the Castle moved to
London; first, the Dowager, and a few days afterwards, her son. This was to
my infinite relief, for now these drives, these visits, these
presents of grapes and forced cherries, would be over. The presents it was
true went to the mother, but the daughter if she pleased could not be
ignorant that they were made to her.
Lord Ennavant drove round by the Homestead on his way to the station. I
watched
Page 71
"Was it?" said Ruth; "very likely, but I was not in
the house, nor heard anything on the subject. He said he was coming to bid
us farewell, but my mother was at home, so there was no necessity
for me to stop within for that ceremony."
To this I quite agreed, and by degrees, as the days wore on, I regained
a quiet to which I had lately been a stranger, and was beginning to rejoice
in it, when it struck me that there was a change for the worse
going on at the Homestead.
I did not understand it, but certainly when all the circumstances of
each week were accumulated, there was something at the end
Page 72
It was late one grey sombre evening that I took my way to the Homestead,
not to trouble them with my presence, but because it contained all that at
this time had any interest for me in life, and vainly I followed
the path nearest to it in the hope if meeting with one or other of the
inmates. No one appeared, and then the desire to hear or see something of
what was going on beneath that beloved roof, overpowered my better
resolution, and fancying or forcing some excuse, I let myself
Page 73
I pushed open the gate and joined her. I knew very well that Colonel
Winspear was not at home, and therefore it was that I asked for him.
"No," said Ruth; "but he will return to-night.
Have you any message for him which I can deliver?"
I declined the offer, and said I would try to see him another time, and
then made a movement to go away, but turned again and inquired whether she
had seen the chestnuts in
Page 74
"I have not," said Ruth. "My mother is not well, and
has wanted me. I came out at dusk to get a little air and a brisk walk up
and down the avenue."
"Then I am hindering you. I will go. Good evening!"
"Good evening!"
"Yet I am very sorry to hear Mrs. Winspear
is ill," I said, beginning to move by her side as rapidly as she
pleased to walk. "I hope it will soon pass
away."
"I hope so," said Ruth.
"I would give the world," I said, "to be of the least
service to you and your family if I knew how."
"And if you had the world to give--" said Ruth,
smiling. "Some people never
Page 75
"Do you think I would not if I had it?" cried I.
"Well, it is a great thing to give. So many kingdoms which you
would be king of, and so many nice places close by the sea in warm
climates; and all the hunters in all the stables, and all the pearls in the
Indian Oceans, and all the palm trees about Palmyra. You ought to think a
long time before you gave all that in order to help us to eggs for
breakfast, for that would be about the least service you could
render."
"And cannot you believe me more serious than that?" I said.
"You who understand so quickly; you whom I saw seizing the very key
to the poor bereaved mother's feelings, is there no meaning
for you in mine?"
Page 76
"Yes, certainly," said Ruth, seriously. "I am sure you
are a very kind friend--glad when we are prosperous, and sorry when
you see us in trouble."
"Indeed you do me justice, and it is the dread of intruding on you
which holds me silent when I fear that something goes wrong."
"To be sure;" said Ruth, "you are quite in the right;
and to tell you the truth, I have seen that you suspected there was a
secret grief among us, and I was grateful to you for forbearing to
speak of it."
"You were?" I cried; "and to me. Did you
think so far kindly of me? Indeed you saw clearly; but it was of your share
alone in it that I thought."
"Really," said Ruth, after a moment's pause, and with
a slight air of embarrassment. "How you knew my part, I cannot
tell--but
Page 77
And with that she turned away, but I would not give up the opening which
chance seemed to have made to obtain for me a portion of her
confidence.
"I know not," I said, "whether I clearly understand
you; but this I know, that if it be within the compass of my will and my
power I would give,--that is I would use all the power I have to
be of the least--that is to be of use."
"Never mind it, however," said Ruth. "Thank you for
your good wishes, and take no notice."
"You speak so, because I am too obtuse to understand, in the
matter of your quick intellect and your clear apprehension; but at least I
can offer whatever I have not yet
Page 78
"Now indeed I do not understand you. In what way have
we caused you any loss?"
"Unwillingly, I am afraid. Oh, Miss Winspear--oh, Ruth, can
you treat me thus?"
"How?" said Ruth, startled that I used her Christian name.
"Indeed I do not in the least understand to what you
allude."
"Oh! to nothing, since it is thus. That which would be life to me,
is yet nothing since you look on it thus."
"You say 'thus,'" said Ruth, "but how? I
am very bad at guessing riddles, and since you speak in them I must
renounce comprehending. Let us say no more except that I beg you to
continue still the course I
Page 79
"I am a mere stranger then; I am an unwelcome stranger. You
despise, you dislike me; you will be glad if I promise never to enter your
door again. And if it be not beyond human force, I will do
so."
"I cannot comprehend your meaning," said Ruth, "but
this is mere nonsense. You have been, you are very welcome; we are glad to
see you, when neither you nor we are busy; you have rendered us a
great service."
"Oh, for the sake of heaven, do not say that word again. It is of
no use to break a man's heart, and ridicule it for breaking. Nay, I
have not offended you," I cried, as she turned
Page 80
"It is time for me to return to the house," said Ruth.
"Besides, it begins to rain. Good evening! Will you have an
umbrella?"
"It is time," said I. "Farewell,"
and I turned away, stopping after a few yards and turning, but Ruth was
already at the top of the avenue, and in another minute lost to my
sight within the house.
Page 81CHAPTER VIII.
THE night was wet, and the wind high and boisterous, but
through the whole of that night did I continue in sight of the house into
which Ruth had disappeared. She had left me in a bewilderment through
which I could see no clue. I imagined a hundred meanings for that mystery
with which she supposed me acquainted; and among them many a wild
supposition passed through my brain. Above all towered the idea that she
must have comprehended the outbreak of my passion; it
Page 82
I gazed on the lights in the windows, aware
that the same rays I saw, saw her, feeling as though they could show her to
me. I moved round the house, wherein I knew she was
Page 83
I often resolved to go away, but returned with the sensation that I
should die if a space and blank were between her dwelling and me that
night; something would happen; at least, I should not know what was
happening; at least, while I remained I had tangibly before me the spot
where she as well as I recollected those strange words of hers, and where
she could explain them to me if she would.
It was past midnight and all seemed at rest and silent within doors,
when I heard horses coming up through the field road, which separated the
Homestead from the highway. One gate after another closed more
audibly, and the trot of the horses sounded louder and
Page 84
Two riders at last became visible as the hoofs clattered over the stones
of the courtyard. I was under the shade of a tree as they passed, and could
perceive plainly that the one next me was the master of the
house, who Ruth had said was expected. He said a few words to his
companion, which seemed like an apology for the reception he would meet
with so late. The reply made me fancy it came from Lord Ennavant,
"Yes,
all right; I like things uncomfortable," and I believed I recognised
his voice, but what should bring him here--his own home being so
near--what had he to do in the house of Ruth?
They gave their horses to a boy who rushed out as they came close up to
the stable,
Page 85
My heart overflowed with jealousy that any one had a right to go in for
shelter under the roof that sheltered her; that any one might speak
familiarly with her, while I who had approached the nearest subject in
the world, was an alien at her door. This stranger would touch her hand and
bid her good night; rise next morning, and see her again; be sure of seeing
her; the hours would pass over them jointly; he need not
torment himself for means to meet her and
Page 86
"Folly, folly," you may say, if you have never been in love,
but what is your saying to me, who have been?
I did not leave the house until the dawn began to break in the east, and
then as light came over me, the feelings which had shown themselves so
freely in the total solitude the night drew back like the moth and
the bat into artificial darkness, and were unseen though alive under the
exterior covering.
I made my way home; dressed carefully, washed out the redness of my
eyes, brushed out the disorder of my hair, thrust down the agitation of my
bosom, and was as indifferent and selfish as usual when I joined Mr.
Pointz at breakfast.
As soon, however, as I could have done
Page 87
I did not dare propose her own name, but I went round it with all my
skill,--
"By-the-bye," I said, stopping the peasant who
had just asked his question, and was plodding off, "have you seen by
chance any of Colonel Winspear's family? I want to speak
to the Colonel?"
"Nooa," the clod answered, and moved on.
"You have not by chance seen the Colonel, have you,
to-day?" I asked of a
Page 88
"A did see him two hours since; a was at home, for I saw him
a-smoking in 's garden."
But at last came a better answer.
"Yeas; he and the young madam and my lord was riding down Obrey
Common not a quarter of an hour agone."
Here was a hope. I answered with an indifferent "Oh!" and
turned on the pursuit. It was the gain of one momentary point, which, after
all, is nothing to the great governing hope of life, but at least
imitates, and wears the look of success. He had told me truly. My hasty
pursuit before long brought me in sight of the group, and as I drew near I
recognised in that third person that it was indeed Lord Ennavant. I
joined them for a
Page 89
Ruth acknowledged me with that sort of reserve which accompanies an
ordinary meeting next day when the last meeting has been out of the common
course. She seemed glad to have another person than me to talk with,
and forced forward some subject with Lord Ennavant.
His gay, careless way soon involved them both in a laughing
conversation; and I gathered that he had come from London yesterday, on
particular business, as he said, and had found his own house in the hands
of
painters, that he had turned back with the intention of returning straight
to London, to the ruin of the business he had come on, but
Page 90
"But how could you not know that they were painting
your house?" asked Ruth, "I thought you had had Joen Owns from
London to consult him about it."
"I certainly must have forgotten that," said Lord Ennavant;
"I am sure if I had remembered it I never could have left London, for
my time was full of engagements."
"And what becomes of them?" said Ruth.
"They become to-morrow just what they would have become had
I fulfilled them to-day," said he; "they belong to the
past. I shall be missed at eight o'clock to-night,
for I was to have been the twelfth at a carefully composed dinner. I have
still to
Page 91
"That will be past too, won't it?" said Ruth.
"Will it? It did not strike me in that light," said Lord
Ennavant.
I listened with tingling ears; I was afraid there was a discovery to be
made; I would not acknowledge that I was afraid; yet my jealous eyes could
not gaze enough on the man who was conversing so familiarly with
Ruth, seeking to satisfy myself that nothing had passed to justify this
familiar visit to her house, this light but assiduous gallantry. Ruth, too,
listened and answered readily. As for me, I was absolutely
speechless, all my soul being gone forth to observe. Colonel
Page 92
"You are busy, I daresay; we are trespassing on your time; you
must not let us do that," and taking violent offence, snapping
indeed, at a friendly hand, like a dog in pain, I answered that the next
morning must relieve them of my society, and being there arrived, I hastily
made my bow and trotted away.
Trotted! ay, as soon as I was out of sight I gave
my horse his head, and as fast as he was inclined to gallop, excited by my
hand,
Page 93
Was this the secret to which Ruth had referred last night? Had she been
wishing for, but not hoping, the declaration which perhaps had been made?
After all, I might be quite mistaken in fancying any understanding
between her and her cousin. Without his place and name certainly he could
have no chance of acceptance; set him before her simply as his own
qualities made him, and
Page 94
Then I turned bitterly upon myself. Why had not I those
things?--with them my chances would have been better than his. I knew
it. I knew I was worth more than Lord Ennavant; better educated; better
gifted; a
better man; yet I was a bad match, as it is called;
he was a good one. Then, are not the adventitious
circumstances of the world valuable? Oh, invaluable!--up to the height
of
Ruth.
Page 95CHAPTER IX.
IT was a great pleasure to me when Lord Ennavant, after two
more days' abode there, left the Homestead and returned to London.
The next thing heard about him was that he had engaged to spend the
autumn with a friend on an excursion to Iceland. This did not look like an
engagement, and at all events I was glad that he could willingly absent
himself from Ruth.
His mother came to the castle with the
Page 96
A few days, however, before the journey was to begin, Lady Ennavant, who
had been driving in a cold bright evening, was seized with inflammation,
and next morning was ill enough to make a doctor indispensable,
and the doctor considered it equally indispensable to send for her son.
He came as rapidly as a special train could bring him, and attended on
her with all the devotion of one who, among a hundred companions, feels
that no future relation
Page 97
She did not die, but she recovered to a state so precarious that he
renounced all thoughts of leaving her until her health should be such as to
make it less uncertain at parting whether they ever again should
meet, and took up his abode at the castle.
He had other houses; why, oh why, I meditated, did not the dear and kind
dowager fall ill at one of those?--why did it happen here? And during
the many hours when she preferred to be alone, he had scarcely
any resource this autumn except the Homestead, whither he often repaired to
get rid of the unoccupied time.
It was but seldom, comparatively, that I could secure a chance of being
there. I had no claim upon them, and I saw with the
Page 98
It was, however, a pleasure, though an astonishment to me to find that
he availed himself of his privilege less frequently than he might have
done. It seemed to me that he went to the house chiefly to get rid of
his own society; and when he was there it appeared as though to help him to
do so was often a burden upon the hands of the inhabitants. Not that he was
wanting in vivacity, nor, as long as novelty lasted, in topics
to talk about; but to see him to advantage one should be confined to
holiday-times; he did not stand the test of everyday life.
The passion or flirtation-feeling which he
Page 99
Ruth appeared very insensible to his actions while they lasted, but
could I be certain that she really continued so? Might he not have produced
an impression on her, though hers began to pall on him? Certainly
the gloom I had already observed increased; she was as active as before,
but stiller; she was as useful, but not so bright; she smiled in her
father's face, but it was a smile which expressed some meaning; it
was not the spontaneous light of her sweet lips.
Towards myself I was conscious of a degree of restraint on her part
since our evening conversation in the garden, and knew not whether to brave
breaking through it or
Page 100
Ruth had some plain work on her knee,
Page 101
"The view would be improved, I think," said I, "if
that spruce fir were out of your way. It is of no use in any manner, is
it?"
"None," said Mrs. Winspear, "but I don't care to
ask Ennavant even so small a favour as that."
"It is impossible he should have a choice one way or other, is not
it?"
"No doubt he would say 'Yes' to anything I
asked--but he would forget to give orders to have the thing done, and
one does not like to remember what the promiser has forgotten."
Page 102
"He is not a man to be depended upon, that's certain,"
I said.
"And never was," said Mrs. Winspear. "He was always
that sort of boy whose faults the people about him excused by his being a
good boy--whatever mischief he did was done merely to amuse
himself; and one might scold him for an hour and never get him
to be angry."
"That easy temper of his makes him a great smoother of
society," I said; "he is very acceptable as long as there is
amusement enough, and his share is a large one; but I think he would hang
heavily where only he wanted to play and the rest to work. He would hardly
stand the large microscope of every-day life."
"He shows himself most useful to his mother," said Ruth,
speaking for the first
Page 103
"I daresay; I have no means of judging--every son would
probably take a journey to see a mother whose life was in
danger."
"Yes, I daresay that too," said Ruth; "but he also
stays her very faithfully; and there are many things which one likes a man
for doing, though one should hate him not doing them."
"People often do right," I said, "and are none the
better liked for it." Ruth made no answer, but went on working at her
long seam; her mother finding that nothing was said made some
commonplace answer; and I was so nettled at Ruth's silence, that I
could not help getting back to the same subject.
"I wonder," said I, "whether Lady
Page 104
"There is no reason whatever for thinking so," said Ruth,
rather hastily, and as I thought the colour slightly rising in her face.
"Mother," she said, her manner changing abruptly,
"Ennavant is there;" and rose to receive him, for he was coming
through the garden, and was close at hand before we perceived him.
"She's better, thank you," he said, in answer to
inquiries about his mother, "but she has sent me to you on an errand
which very much concerns her health."
"To me," said Mrs. Winspear; "how can I do anything
for her?"
"You have got something she wants to borrow," said he.
Page 105
"Is that possible? but you are giving me a riddle to guess. What
is it?"
"My cousin here," said Lord Ennavant.
"Ruth," said Mrs. Winspear, smiling.
"Can I be of any use to her?" asked Ruth.
"Indeed you can," he answered. "She is nervous and
tired of being ill; and she wants some friend to be kind and pleasant. I am
too stupid, and by degrees, when we are alone I find her talking
about matters which concern me, though I always begin about her garden or
her school in order to be agreeable to her."
Ruth laughed, and did not disdain to meet my eye with a brief glance of
intelligence.
"If my mother can spare me," she said, "I will try my
best with pleasure, and if I find the same bad success attend me, I will
remember your candour, and give up at once."
Page 106
"Thank you heartily," said he. "Oh, you won't
fail; you can do ever clever thing that women do, and you are so quiet, so
still, as Germans say; and that's quite different from still
in English, is it not? and very, very different from what a man is in every
language."
He then made some civil speech to Mrs. Winspear, and said, "that
in hopes to succeed in his errand, he had brought the phaeton and trusted
to drive Ruth back." So it was agreed, and with burning
ill-will I saw her take her place by his side and accompany him. I
bowed to her in the coldest and most formal way I could, and then bitterly
repenting took a sudden leave of the Homestead and ran at full
speed over the fields, a short cut, so as to meet the phaeton where the
road came across the footpath, and with
Page 107
Page 108CHAPTER X.
AND now came a hard time for me--a time in which, however
near to Ruth, it was impossible for me to get a glimpse of her. She
remained with her sick aunt much longer than either she or her mother
had contemplated at first, and was shut up in the castle and its gardens as
if she had been in a convent. Only it was a convent with the difference of
a young man in it--a young man, too, with all the
prestige of being the owner of everything bright and pleasant
therein. One whom my jealous heart
Page 109
I had not an easy moment while all this was fresh in my mind; I could
count every pulse which beat so fast and so hard in my heart. I had no time
to remember to be hungry; I fell asleep, and woke up to the most
lively consciousness of the trouble I was in. All the while I was as silent
on the subject, and as commonplace as usual in my relations to other
people, except that I did not see the point of their jokes, although I
laughed at them assiduously.
But such a state of things never goes on long together. People must fall
ill, or rise out of their trouble. Time as it passes makes the impression
less hostile, by mixing others or wearing out the sharpness of
the first.
Page 110
But I was young, and did not like to be miserable; and although I was
not so honest as to confess this to myself, the fact was the same, and sent
me in quest of relief.
The sixth day of Ruth's visit I betook myself to the Homestead,
and finding Mrs. Winspear at home I soon brought the conversation to her
daughter.
"Lady Ennavant is so much the better for a kindly young girl about
her," said Mrs. Winspear, "that I fear I shall not get Ruth
Page 111
"No doubt," I answered, savagely enough, "there must
be a great deal to interest her there."
"True; but it does so because she is of so kindly a nature, for
her aunt's state is very precarious; and of course it is very dull
for a young girl to be quite alone with an invalid."
"Quite alone?" I cried; "is not--"
"No," said Mrs. Winspear; "nobody is there. Ennavant
took the opportunity which Ruth's visit afforded him to do something
from home which he is obliged to do."
"Ay, business must occasionally force a person to attend to
it."
Mrs. Winspear made no comment.
"A day now and then," I went on, impa-
Page 112
"He is not very rigid in attending to his affairs," said
Mrs. Winspear, smiling. "No, I think he went on a visit for the
Bradbush races."
"Did he, indeed!" said I, with a sense of relief, the first
that I enjoyed.
"Poor child!" said Mrs. Winspear, pursuing the course of her
own meditations; "I don't quite like her being there; in such a
melancholy scene, too."
"Nevertheless," I answered, "Miss Winspear's
even spirits and superiority over all that ruffles other people, will carry
her through such, and worse, discomfort."
"She has a great deal of self-control," said her
mother.
Page 113
"But I hope she has no need of self-control," I said.
Mrs. Winspear very slightly, involuntarily, indeed, shook her head.
"You probably know," she answered, "that she has some
need of her fine character to do all she does. You
would fain learn more--yes, I perceive you would; but I
can
tell you nothing beyond what you must have observed yourself. Do not ask
me."
She rose as she spoke, as if to prevent me from speaking, and then broke
the pause in which I looked awkward enough, no doubt, by laying her hand on
mine, and saying--
"Don't think ill of me; I am deeply indebted to you, and
have your services ever before me. None of my own children are dearer to
me."
I don't know what she had quite far away in view by these words,
but the one ruling
Page 114
I declined that pleasure, and took leave--or rather she took leave
of me, and all that had passed became as if it had never been said, though
at the same time it could never be otherwise than have been
said.
I went away perplexed more than ever--
Page 115
Something about Ruth! What trial was pressing upon Ruth? It was quite
impossible it should regard her cousin Lord Ennavant, or it would have been
hidden deeper even than it was. Surely that was quite impossible!
And then that shadow of a word of Mrs. Winspear; but in my present mood so
perverse was I, that upon reflection I hated her for it. If Ruth had any
inclination for another, it was cruel, it was wicked in her mother
to show me that my path would be clear supposing Ruth could have love
me; but Ruth did not think of him,--surely
that was impossible! He went away from her when he might have stayed
near her; he sacrificed the happiness of her society
Page 116
Page 117CHAPTER XI.
ANOTHER week passed, and Ruth was still with her aunt. Lord
Ennavant had returned, I knew, for I had met him coming back to the Castle,
and I had not heard that he was gone out--still he might
be.
I rode out by the keeper's one afternoon, and affecting an errand,
asked if his master was at home.
"Yes, sir, my Lord has a few guns to-morrow to shoot
Maiton's coppice."
Guns! ay, true, it was November; my
Page 118
"A little better than his
dog,
A little dearer than his horse?" It was well if
she got so good a place as that; but why did she not come home; her
aunt must be well, or dead, by this time. It did not matter which, so that
Ruth were free to come home, for if she were at home again I should see
her, talk with her.
I could not get that ghost of a word of Mrs. Winspear's out of my
head, and by distance and silence it grew in my imagination, and took a
shape and proportion which
Page 119
But over and over in silent words, I held an imaginary dialogue with
Mrs. Winspear on the subject, the result of which was more or less
satisfactory; and the desire for it to be real so grew, that at last I
resolved once more to pay her a visit, and try if there was indeed any
reality in what I had fancied I heard.
I was on the point of setting out next day, when a note was put into my
hands from Mrs. Winspear herself, desiring to see me without delay. The
coincidence was strange, such a thing had never happened before, nor
was likely to happen. What did it mean?
At all events I lost not a minute in reaching the Homestead; and
presuming on
Page 120
It was a mild November day, between autumn and winter, when a languid
peace had come over the closing year, and all things contained in the year
were at their end; all that we had hoped, lost, expected, and
gained. I saw Robin in the garden, not as usual, busy on his own small
affairs, or toiling over his allotted task, but standing unoccupied upon
the grassplot, beneath the unleaved plane tree, neither at play nor at
work. When he saw me, he came towards me, and said at once--
"My mother is crying; can't you go to her?"
"What's the matter? Yes, yes, let me go; but what is
it?"
"I don't know; she got a letter, and told
Page 121
"What's the matter? Where's your sister?"
"At the Castle. My mother opened a letter from her
first."
"Go and ask her if she will see me, will you, dear Robin? Beg her
to let me in."
The little fellow did so, and I following closely heard the permission
given.
The door was unbolted, and the boy withdrawing with tearful eyes, I
entered the presence of Mrs. Winspear. She met me with a force smile, and
words of welcome, but her self-command went no further than to
hear me ask if there was any possible thing in which I could be of service.
In answering me, her passion broke out, and it was long before she could
find words to give her meaning utterance.
Page 122
"I cannot explain to you--it is not my secret," she
said; "but there is help possible, and you may be the friend who will
bring it; although at first I thought all was hopeless."
"Then only let me know what I can do; I wish it were already
done."
"We are very poor," she began abruptly; "I have told
you how often the want of money breaks my heart when I see my husband borne
down by it."
"Indeed you have," I said.
"I know at this moment that he has exerted himself beyond his
power to supply money for a certain need, and now when it is quite
impossible he should procure more, there is an absolute necessity--at
least for want it, what will become of us?--of a farther sum. There is
one way, Mr. Greswold."
Page 123
"Tell me," I cried. "May it be my
privilege?"
"No, no; I did not think of that, but there is another. I am here
alone. There is no time to apply to my husband for directions, the
necessity is absolute for to-day, I only hope in Lord Ennavant;
will you go to him, and bring him to me, explain what I want--it is a
very small matter for him, though all in all for me. Tell him the loan of
one hundred pounds will save us. You can do this, if you will go
to him."
"I will do my best," I said; and I acknowledge the first
idea which occurred to me was that by getting occasion to go to the Castle
I should have an opportunity of seeing Ruth. However, that was the
hidden groundwork; I did desire to be of use to the trembling woman who had
called me to her rescue;
Page 124
"I shall see her at last," thought I, as I ran forward on
the path to Castle Winspear, and then I began arranging how to shape my
errand so as to make it introduce me to her beloved presence. But
while I thought it over, the reflection forced itself on me, that although
the good-humoured young man would be eager to do what was asked, his
only means of furnishing actual money would be through Mr.
Pointz, with whose capacity for refusing I was well acquainted. Besides the
thing must be done to-day; to obtain it by this means to-day
was out of the question, and as the difficulties occurred to me,
my pace slackened, till from a run it degenerated to a pensive walk.
"I may see Ruth," at last I concluded,
Page 125
But when I had reviewed the plan with satisfaction a few times, it began
to lose its attraction, and I was glad I
had not been able to put it in
practice at once. It was a
crooked way to an end; in other words, an untruth; one thing was a fact,
and the other was not. What commission had I to make it seem as if a thing
were in the world which was not there. No; I would deal simply,
whatever became of the convenience.
Accordingly I wrote a cheque in my own name, and returned to the
Homestead in a
Page 126
I waited but a few seconds, for perhaps, thought I, what I bring may be
the means of changing that grief into joy, and then I knocked. There was
instant silence, and next the sound of a step lightly crossing the
room within. I could not but laugh to myself--"Poor dear Mrs.
Winspear," said I, in my own thoughts; "fancy the tale I might
make out of this! She with her rusty gown, and her early grey
hairs, and her thoughts all
Page 127
"So soon," said she; "I did not expect you so soon.
Why did not you come in without knocking?"
"Nay, I thought I ought to give you notice of my return, though
indeed I am in haste to tell you that I had succeeded."
"Oh, my friend," she cried, "what do I not owe
you?"
"Indeed, dear Mrs. Winspear, I wish you did owe me
nothing, but I am obliged to confess--do not be angry with me--do
not refuse me,--that what I bring you is my own."
Page 128
"Would he not lend it to me, then?" said Mrs. Winspear,
drawing back.
"Oh, believe me, it is not that; but you are not aware of the
difficulty in one case--of the ease, the benefit, in mine. Would I not
rather have you for my banker than that I should have my money in
merely mercantile hands. I am nothing to them, and I am not absolutely
nothing to you. I have had the happiness of being of use to you before; you
know I would give my life for you."
"Most noble of friends--most generous," said she;
"but it is quite impossible."
"Why impossible?" I asked. "If you were forced to
answer that question, what could you say? and merely to make such an
assertion is not kind, is not gracious to me."
"Don't say that," she answered, tears
Page 129
Page 130CHAPTER XII.
TWO Sundays after this, going out to enjoy a fine afternoon, I
wandered as I always did, when under the guidance of my habitual thoughts,
towards the Homestead. There was a steep wood near the house,
slanting up which ran a path, and a terrace walk lay along the top of the
wood, which this transverse path gradually joined.
The terrace commanded a view of the slanting path, and I sat down on the
low wall,
Page 131
Nor was I wrong. Some distance below, where a wych elm bent over the
bank, and with its roots made a seat beneath its branches, my first glance
found Ruth and her two brothers with her. The three were so far off
that the distance made their conversation one of dumb show to me, and it
was by that alone I could give any guess as to the subject they were
talking of. It was something that interested them.
Ruth and her younger brother, my friend Peter, sat side by side, and he
had hold of her hand, which she had laid on his knee. Her eldest brother
stood before them, and little as Englishmen are given to talk by
gestures, he did seem to be enumerating something, or laying down one
position after
Page 132
Members of one family, who were called too young to bear the burthens of
life for one another, they were all nobly-shaped creatures,
according to the difference of their sex; creatures formed for parts in
all the higher and sunnier actions of life, but enduring, I
Page 133
With mortification, with envy, with sorrow, I watched them as they left
the seat beneath the tree and ascended the path, approaching nearer and
nearer the terrace where I stood. They were talking as they walked,
and the few words which can be gleaned of the talk of persons approaching,
passing, and disappearing, reached me; half words at first and at last, the
full meaning of which one guessed from the two or three one
fully heard.
"All goes well," I heard from Peter. "My
Page 134
Did that past emotion which I had witnessed beneath the wych elm, refer
to these
Page 135
I walked no further that evening. I stayed among the thickest part of
the wood until the light had faded; and then returned gloomily home, ready
to say in words, though not to allow it in my silent conviction,
that Ruth was about to enter the home of one beloved and accepted.
Things go on in their ordinary course, however little one's mind
is running the old lines which agree with them; and every year that passes
thickens the covering which one can and does throw over the
rebellious emotions within.
I had some uninteresting employment to set about that Monday morning,
and did set about it with the most dogged perseverance.
Page 136
"By-the-bye, I have not told you a piece of
news--Lord Ennavant, at last, is going to be married."
"No, you did not tell me," I said, writing on doggedly.
"It must come at last," he went on; "I only wonder it
has been so long coming about."
"Do you?" I said. "Oh--well, I know nothing about
it one way or the other."
Page 137
"Nor care?"
"No; I don't care."
"I wish," said Mr. Pointz, "you would take your horse
and go over for me to Ellensmore this morning. You could do me a great
service there."