All quotation marks, hyphens, dashes,
apostrophes and colons have been transcribed as entity references.
All apostrophes and single right quotation marks are encoded as
’.
Any hyphens occurring in line breaks have been removed; all hyphens are
encoded as ‐ and em dashes as —.
Page 351 is misnumbered as 251 in the original.
BY
The often-repeated truth--that "trifles make the sum of human
things," must plead my excuse; as well as the fact, that while our
libraries are stored with books of excellent advice on general conduct, we
have no single work containing the particular minutiæ of practical
duty, to which I have felt myself called upon to invite the consideration
of the young women of the present
day. We have many valuable dissertations upon female character, as exhibited on the broad scale of virtue; but no direct definition of those minor parts of domestic and social intercourse, which strengthen into habit, and consequently form the basis of moral character.
It is worthy of remark also, that these writers have addressed their
observations almost exclusively to ladies, or occasionally to
those who hold a subordinate situation under the influence of ladies; while
that estimable class of females who might be more specifically denominated
women, and who yet enjoy the privilege of liberal education,
with exemption from the pecuniary necessities of labour, are almost wholly
overlooked.
It is from a high estimate of the importance of this class in upholding
the moral worth of our country, that I have addressed my remarks especially
to them; and in order to do so with more effect, I have ventured to
penetrate into the familiar scenes of domestic life, and have thus
endeavoured to lay bare some of the causes which
frequently lie hidden at the root of general conduct.
Had I not known before the commencement of this work, its progress would
soon have convinced me, that in order to perform my task with candour and
faithfulness, I must renounce all idea of what is called fine writing;
because the very nature of the duty I have undertaken, restricts me to the
consideration of subjects, too minute in themselves to admit of their being
expatiated upon with eloquence by the writer--too familiar to produce
upon the reader any startling effect. Had I even felt within myself a
capability for treating any subject in this manner, I should have been
willing in this instance to resign all opportunity of such display, if, by
so doing, I could more clearly point out to my countrywomen, by what means
they may best meet that pressing exigency of the times, which so urgently
demands a fresh exercise of moral power on their part, to win back to the
homes of England, the boasted felicity for which they once were famed.
Anxious as I am to avoid the charge of unnecessary trifling on a subject
so serious as the moral worth of the women of England, there is beyond this
a consideration of far higher importance, to which I would invite the
candid attention of the serious part of the public, while I offer, what
appears to me a sufficient apology, for having written a book on the
subject of morals, without having made it strictly religious. I should be
sorry indeed, if, by so doing, I brought upon myself the suspicion of
yielding for one moment to the belief that there is any other sure
foundation for good morals, than correct religious principle; but I do
believe, that, with the Divine blessing, a foundation may be laid in very
early life, before the heart has been illuminated by Divine truth, or has
experienced its renovating power, for those domestic habits, and relative
duties, which in after life will materially assist the developement of the
christian character. And I am the more convinced of this, because we
sometimes see, in sincere and devoted Christians, such peculiarities of
conduct
as materially hinder their usefulness--such early-formed habits, as they themselves would be glad to escape from, but which continue to cling around them in their earthly course, like the clustering of weeds in the traveller's path.
It may perhaps more fully illustrate my view of this important subject,
to say that those who would train up young people without the cultivation
of moral habits, trusting solely to the future influence of
religion upon their hearts, are like mariners, who, while they wait for
their bark to be safely guided out to sea, allow their sails to swing idly
in the wind, their cordage to become entangled, and the general outfit of
their vessel to suffer injury and decay; so that when the pilot comes on
board, they lose much of the advantage of his services, and fail to derive
the anticipated benefit from his presence.
All that I would venture to recommend with regard to morals, is, that
the order and right government of the vessel should, as far as is possible,
be maintained, so that when the hope of
better and surer guidance is realized, and the heavenly Pilot in his own good time arrives, all things may be ready--nothing out of order, and nothing wanting, for a safe and prosperous voyage.
It is therefore solely to the cultivation of habits that I
have confined my attention--to the minor morals of domestic
life. And I have done this, because there are so many abler pens
than mine employed in teaching and enforcing the essential truths of
religion; because there is an evident tendency in society, as it exists in
the present day, to overlook these minor points; and because it is
impossible for them to be neglected, without serious injury to the
Christian character.
SARAH STICKNEY ELLIS.
PENTONVILLE, FEB. 1839.
The national characteristics of England are the perpetual boast of her
patriotic sons; and there is one especially, which it behoves all British
subjects not only to exult in, but to cherish and maintain. Leaving the
justice of her laws, the extent of her commerce, and the amount of her
resources, to the orator, the statesman, and the political economist, there
yet remains one of the noblest features in her national character, which
may not improperly be regarded as within the compass of a
woman's understandings and the province of a woman's pen. It is the domestic character of England--the home comforts, and fireside virtues for which she is so justly celebrated. These I hope to be able to speak of without presumption, as intimately associated with, and dependent upon, the moral feelings and habits of the women of this favoured country.
It is therefore in reference to these alone that I shall endeavour to
treat the subject of England's nationality; and in order to do this
with more precision, it is necessary to draw the line of observation within
a narrower circle, and to describe what are the characteristics of the
women of England. I ought, perhaps, in strict propriety, to say what
were their characteristics; because I would justify the
obtrusiveness of a work like this, by first premising that the women of
England are deteriorating in their moral character, and that false notions
of refinement are rendering them less influential, less useful, and less
happy than they were.
In speaking of what English women were, I would not be understood to
refer to what they were a century ago. Facilities in the way of mental
improvement have greatly increased during this period. In connexion with
moral discipline, these
facilities are invaluable; but I consider the two excellencies as having been combined in the greatest perfection in the general average of women who have now attained to middle, or rather advanced age. When the cultivation of the mental faculties had so far advanced as to take precedence of the moral, by leaving no time for domestic usefulness, and the practice of personal exertion in the way of promoting general happiness, the character of the women of England assumed a different aspect, which is now beginning to tell upon society in the sickly sensibilities, the feeble frames, and the useless habits of the rising generation.
In stating this humiliating fact, I must be blind indeed to the most
cheering aspect of modern society, not to perceive that there are signal
instances of women who carry about with them into every sphere of domestic
duty, even the most humble and obscure, the accomplishments and refinements
of modern education; and who deem it rather an honour than a degradation to
be permitted to add to the sum of human happiness, by diffusing the
embellishments of mind and manners over the homely and familiar aspect of
every-day existence.
Such, however, do not constitute the majority of the female population
of Great Britain. By far
the greater portion of the young ladies (for they are no longer women) of the present day, are distinguished by a morbid listlessness of mind and body, except when under the influence of stimulus, a constant pining for excitement, and an eagerness to escape from every thing like practical and individual duty. Of course, I speak of those whose minds are not under the influence of religious principle. Would that the exception could extend to all who profess to be governed by this principle!
Gentle, inoffensive, delicate, and passively amiable as many young
ladies are, it seems an ungracious task to attempt to rouse them from their
summer dream; and were it not that wintry days will come, and the surface
of life be ruffled, and the mariner, even she who steers the smallest bark,
be put upon the inquiry for what port she is really bound--were it not
that the cry of utter helplessness is of no avail in rescuing from the
waters of afliction, and the plea of ignorance unheard upon the
far-extending and deep ocean of experience, and the question of
accountability perpetually sounding, like the voice of a warning spirit,
above the storms and the billows of this lower world--I would be one
of the very last to call the dreamer back to a consciousness of present
things. But this state of listless indifference, my sisters, must
not be. You have deep responsibilities, you have urgent claims; a nation's moral wealth is in your keeping. Let us inquire then in what way it may be best preserved. Let us consider what you are, and have been, and by what peculiarities of feeling and habit you have been able to throw so much additional weight into the scale of your country's worth.
In order to speak with precision of the characteristics of any class of
people, it is necessary to confine our attention as much as possible to
that portion of the class where such characteristics are most prominent;
and, avoiding the two extremes where circumstances not peculiar to that
class are supposed to operate, to take the middle or intervening portion as
a specimen of the whole.
Napoleon Buonaparte was accustomed to speak of the English nation as a
"nation of shopkeepers;" and when we consider the number, the
influence, and the respectability of that portion of the inhabitants who
are, directly or indirectly, connected with our trade and merchandise, it
does indeed appear to constitute the mass of English society,
and may justly be considered as exhibiting the most striking and
unequivocal proofs of what are the peculiar characteristics of the people
of England. It is not therefore from the aristocracy of the land
that the characteristics of English women should be taken; because the higher the rank, and the greater the facilities of communication with other countries, the more prevalent are foreign manners, and modes of thinking and acting common to that class of society in other countries. Neither is it entirely amongst the indigent and most laborious of the community, that we can with propriety look for those strong features of nationality which stamp the moral character of different nations; because the urgency of mere physical wants, and the pressure of constant and necessary labour, naturally induce a certain degree of resemblance in social feelings and domestic habits, amongst people similarly circumstanced, to whatever country they may belong.
In looking around, then, upon our "nation of shopkeepers,"
we readily perceive that by dividing society into three classes, as regards
what is commonly called rank, the middle class must include so vast a
portion of the intelligence and moral power of the country at large, that
it may not improperly be designated the pillar of our nation's
strength, its base being the important class of the laborious poor, and its
rich and highly ornamental capital, the ancient nobility of the land. In no
other country is society thus beautifully proportioned,
and England should beware of any deviation from the order and symmetry of her national column.
There never was a more short-sighted view of society, than that by which
the women of our country have lately learned to look with envious eyes upon
their superiors in rank, to rival their attainments, to imitate their
manners, and to pine for the luxuries they enjoy; and consequently to look
down with contempt upon the appliances and means of humbler happiness. The
women of England were once better satisfied with that instrumentality of
Divine wisdom by which they were placed in their proper sphere. They were
satisfied to do with their own hands what they now leave undone, or repine
that they cannot have others to do for them.
A system of philosophy was once promulgated in France, by which it was
attempted to be proved that so much of the power and the cleverness of man
was attributable to his hand, that, but for a slight difference in the
formation of this organ in some of the inferior animals, they would have
been entitled to rank in the same class with him. Whatever may be said of
the capabilities of man's hand, I believe the feminine qualification
of being able to use the hand willingly and well, has a great deal to do
with the moral influence of
woman. The personal services she is thus enabled to render, enhance her value in the domestic circle, and when such services are performed with the energy of a sound understanding, and the grace of an accomplished mind--above all, with the disinterested kindness of a generous heart--they not only dignify the performer, but confer happiness, as well as obligation. Indeed, so great is the charm of personal attentions arising spontaneously from the heart, that women of the highest rank in society, and far removed from the necessity of individual exertion, are frequently observed to adopt habits of personal kindness towards others, not only as the surest means of giving pleasure, but as a natural and grateful relief to the overflowing of their own affections.
There is a principle in woman's love, that renders it impossible
for her to be satisfied without actually doing something for
the object of her regard. I speak only of woman in her refined and elevated
character. Vanity can satiate itself with admiration, and selfishness can
feed upon services received; but woman's love is an ever-flowing and
inexhaustible fountain, that must be perpetually imparting from the source
of its own blessedness. It needs but slight experience to know, that the
mere act of loving our fellow-crea-
tures does little towards the promotion of their happiness. The human heart is not so credulous as to continue to believe in affection without practical proof. Thus the interchange of mutual kind offices begets a confidence which cannot be made to grow out of any other foundation; and while gratitude is added to the connecting link, the character on each side is strengthened by the personal energy required for the performance of every duty.
There may exist great sympathy, kindness, and benevolence of feeling,
without the power of bringing any of these emotions into exercise for the
benefit of others. They exist as emotions only. And thus the means, which
appear to us as the most gracious and benignant of any that could have been
adopted by our heavenly Father, for rousing us into necessary exertion, are
permitted to die away, fruitless and unproductive, in the breast where they
ought to have operated as a blessing and a means of happiness to
others.
It is not uncommon to find negatively amiable individuals, who sink
under a weight of indolence, and suffer from innate selfishness a gradual
contraction of mind, perpetually lamenting their own inability to do good.
It would be ungenerous to doubt their sincerity in these regrets. We can
therefore only conclude, that the want of habits of personal usefulness has rendered them mentally imbecile, and physically inert; whereas, had the same individuals been early accustomed to bodily exertion, promptly and cheerfully performed on the spur of the moment, without waiting to question whether it was agreeable or not, the very act of exertion would have become a pleasure, and the benevolent purposes to which such exertions might be applied, a source of the highest enjoyment.
Time was when the women of England were accustomed, almost from their
childhood, to the constant employment of their hands. It might be sometimes
in elaborate works of fancy, now ridiculed for their want of taste, and
still more frequently in household avocations, now fallen into disuse from
their incompatibility with modern refinement. I cannot speak with
unqualified praise of all the objects on which they bestowed
their attention, but, if it were possible, I would write in characters of
gold the indisputable fact, that the habits of industry and
personal exertion thus acquired, gave them a strength and dignity of
character, a power of usefulness, and a capability of doing good, which the
higher theories of modern education fail to impart. They were in some
instances less qualified for travelling on the
con-
tinent without an interpreter; but the women of whom I am speaking seldom went abroad. Their sphere of action was at their own firesides, and the world in which they moved was one where pleasure of the highest, purest order, naturally and necessarily arises out of acts of duty faithfully performed.
Perhaps it may be necessary to be more specific in describing the class
of women to which this work relates. It is, then, strictly speaking, to
those who belong to that great mass of the population of England which is
connected with trade and manufactures, as well as to the wives and
daughters of professional men of limited incomes; or, in order to make the
application more direct, to that portion of it who are restricted to the
services of from one to four domestics,--who, on the one hand, enjoy
the advantages of a liberal education, and, on the other, have no
pretension to family rank. It is, however, impossible but that many
deviations from these lines of demarcation must occur, in consequence of
the great change in their pecuniary circumstances, which many families
during a short period experience, and the indefinite order of rank and
station in which the elegances of life are enjoyed, or its privations
endured. There is also this peculiarity
to be taken into account, in our view of English society, that the acquisition of wealth, with the advantages it procures, is all that is necessary for advancement to aristocratic dignity; while, on the other hand, so completely is the nation dependent upon her commercial resources, that it is no uncommon thing to see individuals who lately ranked amongst the aristocracy, suddenly driven, by the failure of some bank or some mercantile speculation, into the lowest walks of life, and compelled to mingle with the laborious poor.
These facts are strong evidence in favour of a system of conduct that
would enable all women to sink gracefully, and without murmuring against
providence, into a lower grade of society. It is easy to learn to enjoy,
but it is not easy to learn to suffer.
Any woman of respectable education, possessing a well-regulated mind,
might move with ease and dignity into a higher sphere than that to which
she had been accustomed; but few women whose hands have been idle all their
lives, can feel themselves compelled to do the necessary labour of a
household, without a feeling of indescribable hardship, too frequently
productive of a secret murmuring against the instrumentality by which she
was reduced to such a lot.
It is from the class of females above described, that we naturally look
for the highest tone of moral feeling, because they are at the same time
removed from the pressing necessities of absolute poverty, and admitted to
the intellectual privileges of the great; and thus, while they enjoy every
facility in the way of acquiring knowledge, it is their still higher
privilege not to be exempt from the domestic duties which call forth the
best energies of the female character.
Where domestics abound, and there is a hired hand for every
kindly office, it would be a work of supererogation for the mistress of the
house to step forward, and assist with her own; but where domestics are
few, and the individuals who compose the household are thrown upon the
consideration of the mothers, wives, and daughters for their daily comfort,
innumerable channels are opened for the overflow of those floods of human
kindness, which it is one of the happiest and most ennobling duties of
woman to administer to the weary frame, and to pour into the wounded
mind.
It is perhaps the nearest approach we can make towards any thing like a
definition of what is most striking in the characteristics of the women of
England, to say, that the nature of
their domestic circumstances is such as to invest their characters with the threefold recommendation of promptitude in action, energy of thought, and benevolence of feeling. With all the responsibilities of family comfort and social enjoyment resting upon them, and unaided by those troops of menials who throng the halls of the affluent and the great, they are kept alive to the necessity of making their own personal exertions conducive to the great end of promoting the happiness of those around them. They cannot sink into supineness, or suffer any of their daily duties to be neglected, but some beloved member of the household is made to feel the consequences, by enduring inconveniences which it is alike their pride and their pleasure to remove. The frequently recurring avocations of domestic life admit of no delay. When the performance of any kindly office has to be asked for, solicited, and re-solicited, it loses more than half its charm. It is therefore strictly in keeping with the fine tone of an elevated character, to be beforehand with expectation, and thus to show, by the most delicate yet most effectual of all human means, that the object of attention, even when unheard and unseen, has been the subject of kind and affectionate solicitude.
By experience in these apparently minute af-
fairs, a woman of kindly feeling and properly disciplined mind, soon learns to regulate her actions also according to the principles of true wisdom, and hence arises that energy of thought for which the women of England are so peculiarly distinguished. Every passing event, however insignificant to the eye of the world, has its crisis, every occurrence its emergency, every cause its effect; and upon these she has to calculate with precision, or the machinery of household comfort is arrested in its movements, and thrown into disorder.
Woman, however, would but ill supply the place appointed her by
providence, were she endowed with no other faculties than those of
promptitude in action, and energy of thought. Valuable as these may be,
they would render her but a cold and cheerless companion, without the
kindly affections and tender offices that sweeten human life. It is a high
privilege, then, which the women of England enjoy, to be necessarily, and
by the force of circumstances, thrown upon their affections, for the rule
of their conduct in daily life. "What shall I do to gratify
myself--to be admired--or to vary the tenor of my
existence?" are not the questions which a woman of right feeling asks
on first awaking to the avocations of
the day. Much more congenial to the highest attributes of woman's character, are inquiries such as these: "How shall I endeavour through this day to turn the time, the health, and the means permitted me to enjoy, to the best account? Is any one sick, I must visit their chamber without delay, and try to give their apartment an air of comfort, by arranging such things as the wearied nurse may not have thought of. Is any one about to set off on a journey, I must see that the early meal is spread, or prepare it with my own hands, in order that the servant, who was working late last night, may profit by unbroken rest. Did I fail in what was kind or considerate to any of the family yesterday; I will meet them this morning with a cordial welcome, and show, in the most delicate way I can, that I am anxious to atone for the past. Was any one exhausted by the last day's exertion, I will be an hour before them this morning, and let them see that their labour is so much in advance. Or, if nothing extraordinary occurs to claim my attention, I will meet the family with a consciousness that, being the least engaged of any member of it, I am consequently the most at liberty to devote myself to the general good of the whole, by cultivating cheerful conversation, adapting myself to the prevailing
tone of feeling, and leading those who are least happy, to think and speak of what will make them more so."
Who can believe that days, months, and years spent in a continual course
of thought and action similar to this, will not produce a powerful effect
upon the character; and not upon the individual who thinks, and acts,
alone, but upon all to whom her influence extends? In short, the customs of
English society have so constituted women the guardians of the comfort of
their homes, that, like the Vestals of old, they cannot allow the lamp they
cherish to be extinguished, or to fail for want of oil, without an equal
share of degradation attaching to their names.
In other countries, where the domestic lamp is voluntarily put out, in
order to allow the women to resort to the opera, or the public festival,
they are not only careless about their home comforts, but necessarily
ignorant of the high degree of excellence to which they might be raised. In
England there is a kind of science of good household management, which, if
it consisted merely in keeping the house respectable in its physical
character, might be left to the effectual working out of hired hands; but,
happily for the women of England, there is a philosophy in this science, by
which all their highest and best feelings are called
into exercise. Not only must the house be neat and clean, but it must be so ordered as to suit the tastes of all, as far as may be, without annoyance or offence to any. Not only must a constant system of activity be established, but peace must be preserved, or happiness will be destroyed. Not only must elegance be called in, to adorn and beautify the whole, but strict integrity must be maintained by the minutest calculation as to lawful means, and self, and self-gratification, must be made the yielding point in every disputed case. Not only must an appearance of outward order and comfort be kept up, but around every domestic scene there must be a strong wall of confidence, which no internal suspicion can undermine, no external enemy break through.
Good household management, conducted on this plan, is indeed a science
well worthy of attention. It comprises so much, as to invest it with an air
of difficulty on the first view; but no woman can reasonably complain of
incapability, because nature has endowed the sex with perceptions so lively
and acute, that where benevolence is the impulse, and principle the
foundation upon which they act, experience will soon teach them by what
means they may best accomplish the end they have in view.
They will soon learn by experience, that
selfish-
ness produces selfishness, that indolence increases with every hour of indulgence, that what is left undone because it is difficult to-day, will be doubly difficult to-morrow; that kindness and compassion, to answer any desirable end, must one be practical, the other delicate, in its nature; that affection must be kept alive by ministering to its necessities; and, above all, that religion must be recommended by consistency of character and conduct.
It is the strong evidence of truths like these, wrought out of their
daily experience, and forced upon them as principles of action, which
renders the women of England what they are, or rather were, and which fits
them for becoming able instruments in the promotion of public and private
good; for all must allow, that it is to the indefatigable exertions and
faithful labours of women of this class, that England chiefly owes the
support of some of her noblest and most benevolent institutions; while it
is to their unobtrusive and untiring efforts, that the unfortunate and
afflicted often are indebted for the only sympathy--the only kind
attention that ever reaches their obscure abodes, or diffuses cheerfulness
and comfort through the solitary chambers of suffering and
sickness--the only aid that relieves the victims of penury and
want--the only consolation that ever visits the
desolate and degraded in their wretchedness and despair.
I acknowledge there are noble instances in the annals of English
history, and perhaps never more than at the present day, of women of the
highest rank devoting their time and their property to objects of
benevolence; but from the very nature of their early habits and domestic
circumstances, they are upon the whole less fitted for practical
usefulness, than those who move within a lower sphere. I am also fully
sensible of the charities which abound amongst the poor; and often have I
been led to compare the actual merit of the magnificent bestowments of
those who know not one comfort the less, with that of the poor man's
offering and the widow's mite. Still my opinion remains the same, that
in the situation of the middle class of women in England, are combined
advantages in the formation of character, to which they owe much of their
distinction, and their country much of her moral worth.
The true English woman, accustomed to bear about with her, her energies
for daily use, her affections for daily happiness, and her delicate
perceptions for hourly aids in the discovery of what is best to do or to
leave undone, by this means obtains an insight into human nature, a power
of
adaptation, and a readiness of application of the right means to the desired end, which not only render her the most valuable friend, but the most delightful of fireside companions, because she is thus enabled to point the plainest moral, and adorn the simplest tale, with all those freshly-formed ideas which arise out of actual experience, and the contemplation of unvarnished truth.
Amongst their other characteristics, the women of England are frequently
spoken of as plebeian in their manners, and cold in their affections; but
their unpolished and occasionally embarrassed manner, as frequently
conceals a delicacy that imparts the most refined and elevated sentiment to
their familiar acts of duty and regard; and those who know them best are
compelled to acknowledge, that all the noblest passions, the deepest
feelings, and the highest aspirations of humanity, may be found within the
brooding quiet of an English woman's heart.
There are flowers that burst upon us, and startle the eye with the
splendour of their beauty; we gaze until we are dazzled, and then turn
away, remembering nothing but their gorgeous hues. There are others that
refresh the traveller by the sweetness they diffuse--but he has to
search for the source of his delight. He finds it embedded
amongst green leaves; it may be less lovely than he had anticipated, in its form and colour, but, oh! how welcome is the memory of that flower, when the evening breeze is again made fragrant with its perfume.
It is thus that the unpretending virtues of the female character force
themselves upon our regard, so that the woman herself is
nothing in comparison with her attributes; and we remember less the
celebrated belle, than her who made us happy.
Nor is it by their frequent and faithful services alone, that English
women are distinguished. The greater proportion of them were
diligent and thoughtful readers. It was not with them a point of importance
to devour every book that was written as soon as it came out. They were
satisfied to single out the best, and, making themselves familiar with
every page, conversed with the writer as with a friend, and felt that, with
minds superior, but yet congenial to their own, they could make friends
indeed. In this manner their solitude was cheered, their hours of labour
sweetened, and their conversation rendered at once piquant and instructive.
This was preserved from the technicalities of common-place by the peculiar
nature of their social and mental habits. They were accustomed to think for
themselves;
and, deprived in some measure of access to what might be esteemed the highest authorities in matters of sentiment and taste, they drew their conclusions from reasoning, and their reasoning from actual observation. It is true, their sphere of observation was microscopic, compared with that of the individual who enjoys the means of travelling from court to court, and of mixing with the polished society of every nation; but an acute vision directed to immediate objects, whatever they may be, will often discover as much of the wonders of creation, and supply the intelligent mind with food for reflection as valuable, as that which is the result of a widely extended view, where the objects, though more numerous, are consequently less distinct.
Thus the domestic woman, moving in a comparatively limited circle, is
not necessarily confined to a limited number of ideas, but can often
expatiate upon subjects of mere local interest with a vigour of intellect,
a freshness of feeling, and a liveliness of fancy, which create in the mind
of the uninitiated stranger, a perfect longing to be admitted into the home
associations from whence are derived such a world of amusement, and so
unfailing a relief from the severer duties of life.
It is not from the acquisition of ideas, but from the application of
them, that conversation derives its greatest charm. Thus an exceedingly
well-informed talker may be indescribably tedious; while one who is
comparatively ignorant, as regards mere facts, having brought to bear, upon
every subject contemplated, a lively imagination combined with a sound
judgment, and a memory stored, not only with dates and historical events,
but with strong and clear impressions of familiar things, may rivet the
attention of his hearers, and startle them, for the time, into a
distinctness of impression which imparts a degree of delightful complacency
both to those who listen, and to the entertainer himself.
In the exercise of this kind of tact, the women of England, when they
can be induced to cast off their shyness and reserve, are peculiarly
excellent, and there is consequently an originality in their humour, a
firmness in their reasoning, and a tone of delicacy in their perceptions,
scarcely to be found elsewhere in the same degree, and combined in the same
manner; nor should it ever be forgotten, in speaking of their peculiar
merits, that the freshness and the charm of their conversation is reserved
for their own firesides, for moments when the wearied framed is most in
need of exhi-
laration, when the mind is thrown upon its own resources for the restoration of its exhausted powers, and when home associations and home affections are the balm which the wounded spirit needs.
But above all other characteristics of the women of England, the strong
moral feeling pervading even their most trifling and familiar actions,
ought to be mentioned as most conducive to the maintenance of that high
place which they so justly claim in the society of their native land. The
apparent coldness and reserve of English women ought only to be regarded as
a means adopted for the preservation of their purity of mind,--an
evil, if you choose to call it so, but an evil of so mild a nature, in
comparison with that which it wards off, that it may with truth be said to
"lean to virtue's side."
I have said before, that the sphere of a domestic woman's
observation is microscopic. She is therefore sensible of defects within
that sphere, which, to a more extended vision, would be imperceptible. If
she looked abroad for her happiness, she would be less disturbed by any
falling off at home. If her interest and her energies were diffused through
a wider range, she would be less alive to the minuter claims upon her
attention. It is possible
she may sometimes attach too much importance to the minutiæ of her own domestic world, especially when her mind is imperfectly cultivated and informed: but, on the other hand, there arises, from the same cause, a scrupulous exactness, a studious observance, of the means of happiness, a delicacy of perception, a purity of mind, and a dignified correctness of manner, for which the women of England are unrivalled by those of any other nation.
By a certain class of individuals, their general conduct may possibly be
regarded as too prudish to be strictly in keeping with enlarged and liberal
views of human life. These are such as object to find the strict principles
of female action carried out towards themselves. But let every man who
disputes the right foundation of this system of conduct, imagine in the
place of the woman whose retiring shyness provokes his contempt, his sister
or his friend; and, while he substitutes another being, similarly
constituted, for himself, he will immediately perceive that the
boundary-line of safety, beyond which no true friend of woman ever tempted
her to pass, is drawn many degrees within that which he had marked out for
his own intercourse with the female sex. Nor is it in the small and
separate deviations from this strict line of
pro-
priety, that any great degree of culpability exists. Each individual act may be simple in itself, and almost too insignificant for remark; it is habit that stamps the character, and custom that renders common. Who then can guard too scrupulously against the first opening, the almost imperceptible chance of manners, by which the whole aspect of domestic life would be altered? And who would not rather that English women should be guarded by a wall of scruples, than allowed to degenerate into less worthy, and less efficient supporters of their country's moral worth?
Were it only in their intercourse with mixed society that English women
were distinguished by this strict regard to the proprieties of life, it
might with some justice fall under the ban of prudery; but happily for
them, it extends to every sphere of action in which they move,
discountenancing vice in every form, and investing social duty with that
true moral dignity which it ought ever to possess.
I am not ignorant that this can only be consistently carried out under
the influence of personal religion. I must, therefore, be understood to
speak with limitations, and as comparing my own countrywomen with those of
other nations--as acknowledging melancholy exceptions, and not only
fervently desiring that every one professed a religion capable of leading them in a more excellent way, but that all who do profess that religion were studiously careful in these minor points. Still I do believe that the women of England are not surpassed by those of any other country for their clear perception of the right and the wrong of common and familiar things, for their reference to principle in the ordinary affairs of life, and for their united maintenance of that social order, sound integrity, and domestic peace, which constitute the foundation of all that is most valuable in the society of our native land.
Much as I have said of the influence of the domestic habits of my
countrywomen, it is, after all, to the prevalence of religious instruction,
and the operation of religious principle upon the heart, that the
consistent maintenance of their high tone of moral character is to be
attributed. Amongst families in the middle class of society in this
country, those who live without regard to religion are exceptions to the
general rule; while the great proportion of individuals thus circumstanced
are not only accustomed to give their time and attention to religious
observances, but, there is every reason to believe, are materially affected
in their lives and conduct by the operation of christian
principles upon their own minds. Women are said to be more easily brought under this influence than men; and we consequently see, in places of public worship, and on all occasions in which a religious object is the motive for exertion, a greater proportion of women than of men. The same proportion may possibly be observed in places of amusement, and where objects less desirable claim the attention of the public; but this ought not to render us insensible to the high privileges of our favoured country, where there is so much to interest, to please, and to instruct, in what is connected with the highest and holiest uses to which we can devote the talents committed to our trust.
ness or misery, it may surely be deemed pardonable for a woman to solicit the serious attention of her own sex, while she endeavours to prove that it is the minor morals of domestic life which give the tone to English character, and that over this sphere of duty it is her peculiar province to preside.
Aware that the word preside, used as it is here, may
produce a startling effect upon the ear of man, I must endeavour to bespeak
his forbearance, by assuring him, that the highest aim of the writer does
not extend beyond the act of warning the women of England back to their
domestic duties, in order that they may become better wives, more useful
daughters, and mothers, who by their example shall bequeath a rich
inheritance to those who follow in their steps.
On the other hand, I am equally aware that a work such as I am proposing
to myself must be liable to the condemnation of all modern young ladies, as
a homely, uninteresting book, and wholly unsuited to the present
enlightened times. I must therefore endeavour also to conciliate their good
will, by assuring them, that all which is most lovely, poetical, and
interesting, nay, even heroic in women, derives its existence
from the source I am now about to open to their view, with all the
ability I am able to command;--and would it were a hundredfold, for their sakes!
The kind of encouragement I would hold out to them is, however, of a
nature so widely different from the compliments to which they are too much
accustomed, that I feel the difficulty existing in the present day, of
stimulating a laudable ambition in the female mind, without the aid of
public praise, or printed records of the actual product of their
meritorious exertions. The sphere of woman's happiest and most
beneficial influence is a domestic one, but it is not easy to award even to
her quiet and unobtrusive virtues that meed of approbation which they
really deserve, without exciting a desire to forsake the homely household
duties of the family circle, to practise such as are more conspicuous, and
consequently more productive of an immediate harvest of applause.
I say this with all kindness, and I desire to say it with all
gentleness, to the young, the amiable, and the--vain; at
the same time that my perception of the temptation to which they are
exposed, enhances my value for the principle that is able to withstand it,
and increases my admiration of those noble-minded women who
are able to carry forward, with exemplary patience and
perseverance, the public offices of benevolence, without
sacrificing their home duties, and who thus prove to the world, that the perfection of female character is a combination of private and public virtue,--of domestic charity, and zeal for the temporal and eternal happiness of the whole human race.
No one can be farther than the writer of these pages from wishing to
point out as objects of laudable emulation those domestic drudges, who,
because of some affinity between culinary operations, and the natural tone
and character of their own minds, prefer the kitchen to the
drawing-room,--of their own free choice, employ their whole lives in
the constant bustle of providing for mere animal appetite, and waste their
ingenuity in the creation of new wants and wishes, which all their
faculties again are taxed to supply. This class of individuals have, by a
sad mistake in our nomenclature, been called useful, and
hence, in some degree, may arise the unpopular reception which this
valuable word is apt to meet with in female society.
It does not require much consideration to perceive that these are not
the women to give a high moral tone to the national character of England;
yet so entirely do human actions derive their digity or their meanness from
the motives by which
they are prompted, that it is no violation of truth to say, the most servile drudgery may be ennobled by the self-sacrifice, the patience, the cheerful submission to duty, with which it is performed. Thus a high-minded and intellectual woman is never more truly great than when willingly and judiciously performing kind offices for the sick; and much as may be said, and said justly, in praise of the public virtues of women, the voice of nature is so powerful in every human heart, that could the question of superiority on these two points be universally proposed, a response would be heard throughout the world, in favour of woman in her private and domestic character.
Nor would the higher and more expansive powers of usefulness with which
women are endowed, suffer from want of exercise, did they devote themselves
assiduously to their domestic duties. I am rather inclined to think they
would receive additional vigour from the healthy tone of their own minds,
and the leisure and liberty afforded by the systematic regularity of their
household affairs. Time would never hang heavily on their hands, but each
moment being husbanded with care, and every agent acting under their
influence being properly chosen and instructed, they would find ample
opportunity to go forth on errands of mercy,
secure that in their absence, the machinery they had set in motion would still continue to work, and to work well.
But if, on the other hand, all was confusion and neglect at
home--filial appeals unanswered--domestic comforts
uncalculated--husbands, sons, and brothers, referred to servants for
all the little offices of social kindness, in order that the ladies of the
family might hurry away at the appointed time to some committee-room,
scientific lecture, or public assembly; however laudable the object for
which they met, there would be sufficient cause why their cheeks should be
mantled with the blush of burning shame when they heard the women of
England and their virtues spoken of in that high tone of approbation and
applause, which those who aspire only to be about their Master's
business will feel little pleasure in listening to, and which those whose
charity has not begun at home, ought never to appropriate to
themselves.
It is a widely mistaken notion to suppose that the sphere of usefulness
recommended here, is a humiliating and degraded one. As if the earth that
fosters and nourishes in its lovely bosom the roots of all the plants and
trees which ornament the garden of the world, feeding them from her secret
storehouse with supplies that never fail,
were less important, in the economy of vegetation, than the sun that brings to light their verdure and their flowers, or the genial atmosphere that perfects their growth, and diffuses their perfume abroad upon the earth. To carry out the simile still farther, it is but just to give the preference to that element which, in the absence of all other favouring circumstances, withholds not its support; but when the sun is shrouded, and the showers forget to fall, and blighting winds go forth, and the hand of culture is withdrawn, still opens out its hidden fountains, and yields up its resources, to invigorate, to cherish, and sustain.
It would be an easy and a grateful task, thus, by metaphor and
illustration, to prove the various excellencies and amiable peculiarities
of woman, did not the utility of the present work demand a more minute and
homely detail of that which constitutes her practical and individual duty.
It is too much the custom with writers, to speak in these general terms of
the loveliness of the female character; as if woman were some
fragrant flower, created only to bloom, and exhale in sweets: when perhaps
these very writers are themselves most strict in requiring that the
domestic drudgery of their own households should each day be faithfully
filled up. How much more generous, just,
and noble it would be to deal fairly by woman in these matters, and to tell her that to be individully, what she is praised for being in general, it is necessary for her to lay aside all her natural caprice, her love of self-indulgence, her vanity, her indolence--in short, her very self--and assuming a new nature, which nothing less than watchfulness and prayer can enable her constantly to maintain, to spend her mental and moral capabilities in devising means for promoting the happiness of others, while her own derives a remote and secondary existence from theirs.
If an admiration almost unbounded for the perfection of female
character, with a sisterly participation in all the errors and weaknesses
to which she is liable, and a profound sympathy with all that she is
necessarily compelled to feel and suffer, are qualifications for the task I
have undertaken, these certainly are points on which I yield to none; but
at the same time that I do my feeble best, I must deeply regret that so few
are the voices lifted up in her defence against the dangerous influence of
popular applause, and the still more dangerous tendency of modern habits,
and modern education. Perhaps it is not to be expected that those who write
most powerfully, should most clearly perceive the influence of the one, or
the tendency of the other; because the very strength and consistency of their own minds must in some measure exempt them from participation in either. While, therefore, in the art of reasoning, a writer like myself must be painfully sensible of her own deficiency; in sympathy of feeling, she is perhaps the better qualified to address the weakest of her sex.
With such, it is a favourite plea, brought forward in extenuation of
their own uselessness, that they have no influence--that they are not
leading women--that society takes no note of them;--forgetting,
while they shelter themselves beneath these indolent excuses, that the very
feather on the stream may serve to warn the doubtful mariner of the rapid
and fatal current by which his bark might be hurried to destruction. It is,
moreover, from amongst this class that wives are more frequently chosen;
for there is a peculiarity in men--I would fain call it
benevolence--which inclines them to offer the benefit of
their protection to the most helpless and dependent of the female sex; and
therefore it is upon this class that the duty of training up the young most
frequently devolves; not certainly upon the naturally imbecile, but upon
the uncalculating creatures whose non-exercise of their own mental and
moral
facul-
ties renders them not only willing to be led through the experience of life, but thankful to be relieved from the responsibility of thinking and acting for themselves.
It is an important consideration, that from such women as these, myriads
of immortal beings derive that early bias of character, which under
Providence decides their fate, not only in this world, but in the world to
come. And yet they flutter on, and say they have no influence--they do
not aspire to be leading women--they are in society but as grains of
sand on the sea-shore. Would they but pause one moment to ask how will this
plea avail them, when, as daughters without gratitude, friends without good
faith, wives without consideration, and mothers without piety, they stand
before the bar of judgment, to render an account of the talents committed
to their trust! Have they not parents, to whom they might study to repay
the debt of care and kindness accumulated in their clildhood?--perhaps
to whom they might overpay this debt, by assisting to remove such obstacles
as apparently intercept the line of duty, and by endeavouring to alleviate
the perplexing cares which too often obscure the path of life? Have they
not their young friendships, for those sunny hours when the heart expands
itself
in the genial atmosphere of mutual love, and shrinks not from revealing its very weaknesses and errors; so that a faithful hand has but to touch its tender chords, and conscience is awakened, and then instruction may be poured in, and medicine may be administered, and the messenger of peace, with healing on his wings, may be invited to come in, and make that heart his home? Have they not known the secrets of some faithful bosom laid bare before them in a deeper and yet more confiding attachment, when, however insignificant they might be to the world in general, they held an influence almost unbounded over one human being, and could pour in, for the bane or the blessing of that bosom, according to the fountain from whence their own was supplied, either draughts of bitterness, or floods of light? Have they not bound themselves by a sacred and enduring bond, to be to one fellow-traveller along the path of life, a companion on his journey, and, as far as ability might be granted them, a guide and a help in the doubts and the difficulties of his way? Under these urgent and serious responsibilities, have they not been appealed to, both in words and in looks, and in the silent language of the heart, for that promised help? And how has the appeal been answered? Above all, have they
not, many of them, had the feeble steps of infancy committed to their care--the pure unsullied page of childhood presented to them for its first and most durable inscription?--and what have they written there? It is vain to plead their inability, and say they knew not what to write, and therefore left the tablet untouched, or sent away the vacant page to be filled up by other hands. Time will prove to them they have written, if not by any direct instrumentality, by their example, their conversation, and the natural influence of mind on mind. Experience will prove to them they have written; and the transcript of what they have written will be treasured up, either for or against them, amongst the awful records of eternity.
It is therefore not only false in reasoning, but wrong in principle, for
women to assert, as they not unfrequently do with a degree of puerile
satisfaction, that they have no influence. An influence fraught either with
good or evil, they must have; and though the one may be above their
ambition, and the other beyond their fears, by neglecting to obtain an
influence which shall be beneficial to society, they necessarily assume a
bad one: just in the same proportion as their selfishness, indolence, or
vacuity of mind, render them in youth an easy prey to every species of
unamiable tem-
per, in middle age the melancholy victims of mental disease, and, long before the curtain of death conceals their follies from the world, a burden and a bane to society at large.
A superficial observer might rank with this class many of those
exemplary women, who pass to and fro upon the earth with noisless step,
whose names are never heard, and who, even in society, if they attempt to
speak, have scarcely the ability to command an attentive audience. Yet
amongst this unpretending class are found striking and noble instances of
women, who, apparently feeble and insignificant, when called into action by
pressing and peculiar circumstances, can accomplish great and glorious
purposes, supported and carried forward by that most valuable of all
faculties--moral power. And just in proportion as women
cultivate this faculty (under the blessing of heaven) independently of all
personal attractions, and unaccompanied by any high attainments in learning
or art, is their influence over their fellow-creatures, and consequently
their power of doing good.
It is not to be persumed that women
possesss more moral power than men;
but happily for them, such are their early impressions, associations, and
general position in the world, that their moral feelings are less liable to
be impaired by the pecu-
niary objects which too often constitute the chief end of man, and which, even under the limitations of better principle, necessarily engage a large portion of his thoughts. There are many humble-minded women, not remarkable for any particular intellectual endowments, who yet possess so clear a sense of the right and wrong of individual actions, as to be of essential service in aiding the judgments of their husbands, brothers, or sons, in those intricate affairs in which it is sometimes difficult to dissever worldly wisdom from religious duty.
To men belongs the potent--(I had almost said the
omnipotent) consideration of worldly aggrandisement; and it is
constantly misleading their steps, closing their ears against the voice of
conscience, and beguiling them with the promise of peace, where peace was
never found. Long before the boy has learned to exult in the dignity of the
man, his mind has become familiarized to the habit of investing with
supreme importance, all considerations relating to the acquisition of
wealth. He hears on the Sabbath, and on stated occasions, when men meet for
that especial purpose, of a God to be worshipped, a Saviour to be trusted
in, and a holy law to be observed; but he sees before him, every day and
every hour, a strife, which is nothing less than deadly to the highest
impulses
of the soul, after another god--the mammon of unrighteousness--the moloch of this world; and believing rather what men do, than what they preach, he learns too soon to mingle with the living mass, and to unite his labours with theirs. To unite? Alas! there is no union in the great field of action in which he is engaged; but envy, and hatred, and opposition, to the close of the day--every man's hand against his brother, and each struggling to exalt himself, not merely by trampling upon his fallen foe, but by usurping the place of his weaker brother, who faints by his side, from not having brought an equal portion of strength into the conflict, and who is consequently borne down by numbers, hurried over, and forgotten.
This may be an extreme, but it is scarcely an exaggerated picture of the
engagements of men of business in the present day. And surely they now need
more than ever all the assistance which Providence has kindly provided, to
win them away from this warfare, to remind them that they are hastening on
towards a world into which none of the treasures they are amassing can be
admitted; and, next to those holier influences which operate through the
medium of revelation, or through the mysterious instrumentality of Divine
love, I have
little hesitation in saying, that the society of woman in her highest moral capacity, is best calculated to effect this purpose.
How often has man returned to his home with a mind confused by the many
voices, which in the mart, the exchange, or the public assembly, have
addressed themselves to his inborn selfishness, or his worldly pride; and
while his integrity was shaken, and his resolution gave way beneath the
pressure of apparent necessity, or the insidious pretences of expediency,
he has stood corrected before the clear eye of woman, as it looked directly
to the naked truth, and detected the lurking evil of the specious act he
was about to commit. Nay, so potent may have become this secret influence,
that he may have borne it about with him like a kind of second conscience,
for mental reference, and spiritual counsel, in moments of trial; and when
the snares of the world were around him, and temptations from within and
without have bribed over the witness in his own bosom, he has thought of
the humble monitress who sat alone, guarding the fireside comforts of his
distant home; and the remembrance of her character, clothed in moral
beauty, has scattered the clouds before his mental vision, and sent him
back to that beloved home, a wiser and a better man.
The women of England, possessing the grand privilege of being better
instructed than those of any other country, in the minutiæ of
domestic comfort, have obtained a degree of importance in society far
beyond what their unobtrusive virtues would appear to claim. The
long-established customs of their country have placed in their hands the
high and holy duty of cherishing and protecting the minor morals of life,
from whence springs all that is elevated in purpose, and glorious in
action. The sphere of their direct personal influence is central, and
consequently small; but its extreme operations are as widely extended as
the range of human feeling. They may be less striking in society than some
of the women of other countries, and may feel themselves, on brilliant and
stirring occasions, as simple, rude, and unsophisticated in the popular
science of excitement; but as far as the noble daring of Britain has sent
forth her adventurous sons, and that is to every point of danger on the
habitable globe, they have borne along with them a generosity, a
disinterestedness, and a moral courage, derived in so
small measure from the female influence of their native country.
It is a fact well worthy of our most serious attention, and one which
bears immediately upon
the subject under consideration, that the present state of our national affairs is such as to indicate that the influence of woman in counteracting the growing evils of society is about to be more needed than ever.
In our imperfect state of being, we seldom attain any great or national
good without its accompaniment of evil; and every improvement proposed for
the general weal, has, upon some individual, or some class of individuals,
an effect which it requires a fresh exercise of energy and principle to
guard against. Thus the great facilities of communication, not only
throughout our own country, but with distant parts of the world, are
rousing men of every description to tenfold exertion in the field of
competition in which they are engaged; so that their whole being is
becoming swallowed up in efforts and calculations relating to their
pecuniary success. If to grow tardy or indifferent in the race were only to
lose the goal, many would be glad to pause; but such is the nature of
commerce and trade, as at present carried on in this country, that to
slacken in exertion, is altogether to fail. I would fain hope and believe
of my countrymen, that many of the rational and enlightened would now be
willing to reap smaller gains, if by so doing they could enjoy
more leisure. But a business only half attended to, soon ceases to be a business at all; and the man of enlightened understanding, who neglects his, for the sake of hours of leisure, must be content to spend them in the debtor's department of a jail.
Thus, it is not with single individuals that the blame can be made to
rest. The fault is in the system; and happy will it be for thousands of
immortal souls, when this system shall correct itself. In the mean time,
may it not be said to be the especial duty of women to look around them,
and see in what way they can counteract this evil, by calling back the
attention of man to those sunnier spots in his existence, by which the
growth of his moral feelings have been encouraged, and his heart
improved?
We cannot believe of the fathers who watched over our childhood, of the
husbands who shared our intellectual pursuits, of the brothers who went
hand in hand with us in our love of poetry and nature, that they are all
gone over to the side of mammon, that there does not lurk in some corner of
their hearts a secret longing to return; yet every morning brings the same
hurried and indifferent parting, every evening the same jaded, speechless,
welcomeless return--until we almost fail to recognize the man, in the
machine.
English homes have been much boasted of by English people, both at home
and abroad. What would a foreigner think of those neat, and sometimes
elegant residences, which form a circle of comparative gentility around our
cities and our trading towns? What would he think, when told that the
fathers of those families have not time to see their children, except on
the Sabbath-day? and that the mothers, impatient, and anxious to consult
them about some of their domestic plans, have to wait, perhaps for days,
before they can find them for five minutes disengaged, either from actual
exertion, or from that sleep which necessarily steals upon them immediately
after the over-excitement of the day has permitted them a moment of
repose.
And these are rational, intellectual, accountable, and immortal beings,
undergoing a course of discipline by which they are to be fitted for
eternal existence! What woman can look on without asking--"Is
there nothing I can do, to call them back?" Surely there is; but it
never can be done by the cultivation of those faculties which contribute
only to selfish gratification. Since her society is shared for so short a
time, she must endeavour to make those moments more rich in blessing; and
since her influence is limited to so
small a range of immediate operation, it should be rendered so potent as to mingle with the whole existence of those she loves.
Will an increase of intellectual attainments, or a higher style of
accomplishments, effect this purpose? Will the common-place frivolities of
morning calls, or an interminable range of superficial reading, enable them
to assist their brothers, their husbands, or their sons in becoming happier
and better men?
No: let the aspect of society be what it may, man is a social being, and
beneath the hard surface he puts on, to fit him for the wear and tear of
every day, he has a heart as true to the kindly affections of our nature,
as that of woman--as true, though not as suddenly awakened to every
pressing call. He has therefore need of all her sisterly services, and,
under the pressure of the present times, he needs them more than ever, to
foster in his nature, and establish in his character, that higher tone of
feeling, without which he can enjoy nothing beyond a kind of animal
existence--but with which, he may faithfully pursue the necessary
avocations of the day, and keep as it were a separate soul for his family,
his social duty, and his God.
There is another point of consideration by which
this necessity for a higher degree of female influence is greatly increased, and it is one which comprises much that is interesting to those who aspire to be the supporters of their country's worth. The British throne being now graced by a female sovereign, the auspicious promise of whose early years seems to form a new era in the annals of our nation, and to inspire with brighter hopes and firmer confidence the patriot bosoms of her expectant people; it is surely not a time for the female part of the community to fall away from the high standard of moral excellence, to which they have been accustomed to look, in the formation of their domestic habits. Rather let them show forth the benefits arising from their more enlightened systems of education, by proving to their youthful sovereign, that whatever plan she may think it right to sanction for the moral advancement of her subjects, and the promotion of their true interests as an intelligent and happy people, will be welcomed by every female heart throughout her realm, and faithfully supported in every British home by the female influence prevailing there.
It will be the business of the writer, through the whole of the
succeeding pages of this work, to endeavour to point out, how the women of
England may render this important service, not only to the
members of their own households, but to the community at large: and if I fail in arousing them to bring as with one mind, their united powers to stem the popular torrent now threatening to undermine the strong foundation of England's moral worth, it will not be for want of earnestness in the cause, but because I am not endowed with talent equal to the task.
munity, are deeply indebted to them for their indefatigable and often ill-requited services.
A woman of cultivated understanding and correct religious principle,
when engaged in the responsible task of educating the rising generation, in
reality fills one of the most responsible stations to which a human being
can aspire; and nothing can more clearly indicate a low state of public
morals than the vulgar disrespect and parsimonious remuneration with which
the agents employed in education are sometimes requited.
It is with what is taught, not with those who teach, that I am daring
enough to find fault. It may be that I am taking an unenlightened and
prejudiced view of the subject; yet, such is the strong conviction of my
own mind, that I cannot rest without attempting to prove that the present
education of the women of England does not fit them for faithfully
performing the duties which devolve upon them immediately after their
leaving school, and throughout the whole of their after lives--does
not convert them from helpless children, into such characters as all women
must be, in order to be either esteemed or admired.
Nor are their teachers accountable for this. It is the fashion of the
day--it is the ambition of the times, that all people should, as far
as possible,
learn all things of which the human intellect takes cognizance; and what would be the consternation of parents whose daughter should return home to them from school unskilled in modern accomplishments,--to whom her governess should say, "It is true I have been unable to make your child a proficient either in French or Latin, nor is she very apt at the use of the globes, but she has been pre-eminent amongst my scholars for her freedom from selfishness, and she possesses a nobility of feeling that will never allow her to be the victim of meanness, or the slave of grovelling desires."
In order to ascertain what kind of education is most effective in making
woman what she ought to be, the best method is to inquire into the
character, station, and peculiar duties of woman throughout the largest
portion of her earthly career; and then ask, for what she is most valued,
admired, and beloved?
In answer to this, I have little hesitation in saying,--For her
disinterested kindness. Look at all the heroines, whether of romance or
reality--at all the female characters that are held up to universal
admiration--at all who have gone down to honoured graves, amongst the
tears and the lamentations of their survivors. Have these been
the learned, the accomplished women; the women who could speak many languages, who could solve problems, and elucidate systems of philosophy? No: or if they have, they have also been women who were dignified with the majesty of moral greatness--women who regarded not themselves, their own feebleness, or their own susceptibility of pain, but who, endued with an almost superhuman energy, could trample under-foot every impediment that intervened between them and the accomplishment of some great object upon which their hopes were fixed, while that object was wholly unconnected with their own personal exaltation or enjoyment, and related only to some beloved object, whose suffering was their sorrow, whose good their gain.
Woman, with all her accumulation of minute disquietudes, her weakness,
and her sensibility, is but a meagre item in the catalogue of humanity but,
roused by a sufficient motive to forget all these, or, rather, continually
forgetting them because she has other and nobler thoughts to occupy her
mind, woman is truly and majestically great.
Never yet, however, was woman great, because she had great acquirements;
nor can she ever be great in herself--personally, and without
instrumentality--as an object, not an agent.
From the beginning to the end of school education, the improvement of
self, so far as relates to intellectual attainments, is made
the rule and the motive of all that is done. Rewards are appointed and
portioned out for what has been learned, not what has been imparted. To
gain, is the universal order of the establishment; and those who have
heaped together the greatest sum of knowledge are usually regarded as the
most meritorious. Excellent discourses may be delivered by the preceptress
upon the christian duties of benevolence and disinterested love; but the
whole system is one of pure selfishness, fed by accumulation, and rewarded
by applause. To be at the head of the class to gain the ticket or the
prize, are the points of universal ambition; and few individuals, amongst
the community of aspirants, are taught to look forward with a rational
presentiment to that future, when their merit will be to give the place of
honour to others, and their happiness to give it to those who are more
worthy than themselves.
We will not assert that no one entertains such thoughts; for there is a
voice in woman's heart too strong for education--a principle
which the march of intellect is unable to overthrow.
Retiring from the emulous throng, we sometimes find a little, despised,
neglected girl, who
has won no prize, obtained no smile of approbation from her superiors. She is a dull girl, who learns slowly, and cannot be taught so as to keep up with the rest without incalculable pains. The fact is, she has no great wish to keep up with them: she only wants to be loved and trusted by her teachers; and oh! how does she wish, with tears, and almost with prayers, that they would love and trust her, and give her credit for doing her best. Beyond this she is indifferent; she has no motive but that of pleasing others, for trying to be clever; and she is quite satisfied that her friend, the most ambitious girl in the school, should obtain all the honours without her competition. Indeed, she feels as though it scarcely would be delicate, scarcely kind in her, to try so much to advance before her friend; and she gently falls back, is reproved for her neglect, and, finally, despised.
I knew a girl who was one of the best grammarians in a large school,
whose friend was peculiarly defective in that particular branch of
learning. Once every year the order of the class was reversed, the girl who
held the highest place exchanging situations with the lowest, and thus
affording all an equal chance of obtaining honours. The usual order of the
class was soon restored,
except that the good grammarian was always expected by her friend to whisper in her ear a suitable answer to every question proposed; and as this girl necessarily retrograded to the place to which her own ignorance entitled her, her friend felt bound by affection and kindness to relieve her distress every time the alarming question came to her turn She consequently remained the lowest in the class until the time of her leaving the school, often subjected to the reproofs of her teachers, and fully alive to her humiliating situation, but never once turning a deaf ear to her friend, or refusing to assist her in her difficulties.
In the schools of the ancients, an act of patient disinterestedness like
this, would have met with encouragement and reward; in the school where it
took place, it was well for both parties that it was never known.
In making these and similar remarks, I am aware that I may bring upon
myself the charge of wishing to exclude from our schools all intellectual
attainments whatever; for how, it will be asked, can learning be acquired
without emulation, and without rewards for the diligent, and punishments
for the idle?
So far, however, from wishing to cast a shade of disrespect over such
attainments, I am decidedly
of opinion that no human being can know too much, so long as the sphere of knowledge does not extend to what is positively evil. I am also of opinion that there is scarcely any department of art or science, still less of mental application, which is not calculated to strengthen and improve the mind; but at the same time I regard the improvement of the heart of so much greater consequence, that if time and opportunity should fail for both, I would strenuously recommend that women should be sent home from school with fewer accomplishments, and more of the will and the power to perform the various duties necessarily devolving upon them.
Again, I am reminded of the serious and important fact, that religion
alone can improve the heart; and to this statement no one can field assent
with more reverential belief in its truth than myself. I acknowledge, also,
for I know it to be a highly creditable fact, that a large proportion of
the meritorious individuals who take upon themselves the arduous task of
training up the young, are conscientiously engaged in giving to religious
instruction that place which it ought unquestionably to hold in every
christian school. But I would ask, is instruction all that is
wanted for instilling into the minds of the rising generation
the benign principles of christian faith and practice?
It is not thought enough to instruct the young sculptor in the rules of
his art, to charge his memory with the names of those who have excelled in
it, and, with the principles they have laid down for the guidance of
others.--No: he must work with his own hand; and long before that
hand, and the mind by which it is influenced, have attained maturity, he
must have learned to mould the pliant clay, and have thus become familiar
with the practice of his art.
And shall this universally acknowledged system of instruction, for which
we are indebted for all that is excellent in art and admirable in science,
be neglected in the education of the young Christian alone? Shall he be
taught the bare theory of his religion, and left to work out its practice
as he can? Shall he be instructed in what he is to believe, and not
assisted in doing also the will of his heavenly Father?
We all know that it is not easy to practise even the simplest rule of
right, when we have not been accustomed to do so; and the longer we are
before we begin to regulate our conduct by the precepts of religion, the
more difficult it will be to acquire such habits as are calculated to adorn
and show forth the purity and excellence of its principles.
There is one important difference between the acquisition of knowledge,
and the acquisition of good habits, which of itself ought to be sufficient
to ensure a greater degree of attention to the latter. When the little
pupil first begins her education, her mind is a total blank, as far as
relates to the different branches of study into which she is about to be
introduced, and there is consequently nothing to oppose. She
is not prepossessed in favour of any false system of arithmetic, grammar,
or geography, and the ideas presented to her on these subjects are
consequently willingly received, and adopted as her own.
How different is the moral state of the uninstructed child! Selfishness
coeval with her existence has attained an alarming growth; and all the
other passions and propensities inherent in her nature, taking their
natural course, have strengthened with her advance towards maturity, and
are ready to assume an aspect too formidable to afford any prospect of
their being easily brought into subjection.
Yet, notwithstanding this difference, the whole machinery of education
is brought to bear upon
the intellectual part of her nature, and her moral feelings are left to the training of the play-ground, where personal influence rather than right feeling, too frequently decides her disputes, and places her either high or low in the ranks of her companions.
It is true, she is very seriously and properly corrected when
convicted of having done wrong, and an admirable
system of morals is promulgated in the school; but the subject
I would complain of is, that no means have yet been adopted for making the
practice of this system the object of highest importance in
our schools. No adequate means have been adopted for testing the
generosity, the high-mindedness, the integrity of the children who pursue
their education at school, until they leave it at the age of sixteen, when
their moral faculties, either for good or for evil, must have attained
considerable growth.
Let us single out from any particular seminary a child who has been
there from the years of ten to fifteen, and reckon, if it can be reckoned,
the pains that have been spent in making that child a proficient in Latin.
Have the same pains been spent in making her disinterestedly kind? And yet
what man is there in existence who would not rather his wife should be free
from selfishness, than be able to read Virgil without the use of a
dictionary.
There is no reason, however, why both these desirable ends should not be
aimed at, and as the child progresses in self-denial, forbearance,
generosity, and disinterested kindness, it might be her reward to advance
in the acquisition of languages, or of whatever accomplishments it might be
thought most desirable for her to attain. If I am told there would not be
time for all the discipline requisite for the practice of morals; I ask in
reply, how much do most young ladies learn at school, for which they never
find any use in after life, and for which, it is not probable from their
circumstances that they ever should. Let the hours spent upon music by
those who have no ear--upon drawing, by those who might almost be said
to have no eye--upon languages, by those who never afterwards speak
any other than their mother-tongue--be added together year after year;
and an aggregate of wasted time will present itself, sufficient to alarm
those who are sensible of its value, and of the awful responsibility of
using it aright.
It is impossible that the teachers or even the parents themselves should
always know the future destiny of the child; but there is an appropriate
sphere for women to move in, from which those of the middle class in
England seldom deviate very
widely. This sphere has duties and occupations of its own, from which no woman can shrink without culpability and disgrace; and the question is, are women prepared for these duties and occupations by what they learn at school?
For my own part, I know not how education deserves the name, if it does
not prepare the individual whom it influences, for filling her appointed
station in the best possible manner. What, for instance, should we think of
a school for sailors, in which nothing was taught but the fine arts; or for
musicians, in which the students were only instructed in the theory of
sound?
With regard of the women of England, I have already ventured to assert
that the quality for which, above all others, they are esteemed and valued,
is their disinterested kindness. A selfish woman may not improperly be
regarded as a monster, especially in that sphere of life, where there is a
constant demand made upon her services. But how are women taught at school
to forget themselves, and to cultivate that high tone of generous feeling
to which the world is so much indebted for the hope and the joy, the peace
and the consolation, which the influence and companionship of woman is able
to diffuse throughout its very deserts, visiting, as with blessed
sun-
shine, the abodes of the wretched and the poor, and sharing cheerfully the lot of the afflicted.
In what school, or under what system of modern education, can it be said
that the chief aim of the teachers, the object to which their laborious
exertions are mainly directed, is to correct the evil of selfishness in the
hearts of their pupils? Improved methods of charging and surcharging the
memory are eagerly sought out, and pursued, at any cost of time and
patience, if not of health itself; but who ever thinks of establishing a
selfish class amongst the girls of her establishment, or of
awarding the honours and distinctions of the school to such as have
exhibited the most meritorious instances of self-denial for the benefit of
others.
It may be objected to this plan, that virtue ought to be its own reward,
and that honours and rewards adjudged to the most meritorious in a moral
point of view, would be likely to induce a degree of self-complacency
wholly inconsistent with christian meekness. I am aware that, in our
imperfect state, no plan can be laid down for the promotion of good, with
which evil will not be liable to mix. All I contend for is, that the same
system of discipline, with the same end in view, should be begun and
carried on at school, as that to which the scholar will necessarily be
subjected
in after life; and that throughout the training of her early years, the same standard of merit should be adopted, as she will find herself compelled to look up to, when released from that training, and sent forth into the world to think and act for herself.
At school it has been the business of every day to raise herself above
her companions by attainments greater than theirs; in after life it will be
the business of every day to give place to others, to think of their
happiness, and to make sacrifices of her own to promote it. If such acts of
self-denial, when practised at school, should endanger the equanimity of
her mind by the approbation they obtain, what will they do in the world she
is about to enter, where the unanimous opinion of mankind, both in this,
and in past ages, is in their favour, and where she must perpetually hear
woman spoken of in terms of the highest commendation, not for her learning,
but for her disinterested kindness, her earnest zeal in promoting the
happiness of her fellow-creatures, and the patience and forbearance with
which she studies to mitigate affliction and relieve distress?
Would it not be safer, then, to begin at a very early age to make the
practice of these virtues the chief object of their lives, guarding at the
same
time against any self-complacency that might attach to the performance of them, by keeping always before their view, higher and nobler instances of virtue in others; and especially by a strict and constant reference to the utter worthlessness of all human merit, in comparison with the mercy and forgiveness that must ever impose a debt of gratitude upon our own souls?
Taking into consideration the various excellencies and peculiarities of
woman, I am inclined to think that the sphere which of all others admits of
the highest developement of her character, is the chamber of sickness; and
how frequently and mournfully familiar are the scenes in which she is thus
called to act and feel, let the private history of every family
declare.
There is but a very small proportion of the daughters of farmers,
manufacturers, and tradespeople, in England, who are ever called upon for
their Latin, their Italian, or even for their French; but all women in this
sphere of life are liable to be called upon to visit and care for the sick;
and if in the hour of weakness and of suffering, they prove to be
unacquainted with any probable means of alleviation, and wholly ignorant of
the most judicious and suitable mode of offering relief and consolation,
they are indeed deficient in one of
the highest attainments in the way of usefulness, to which a woman can aspire.
To obviate the serious difficulties which many women experience from
this cause, I would propose, as a substitute for some useless
accomplishments, that English girls should be made acquainted with the most
striking phenomena of some of the familiar, and frequently recurring
maladies to which the human frame is liable, with the most approved methods
of treatment. And by cultivating this knowledge so far as relates to
general principles, I have little doubt but it might be made an interesting
and highly useful branch of education.
I am far from wishing them to interfere with the province of the
physician. The more they know, the less likely they will be to do this. The
office of a judicious nurse is all I would recommend them to aspire to; and
to the same department of instruction should be added the whole science of
that delicate and difficult cookery which forms so important a part of the
attendant's duty.
Nor let these observations call forth a smile upon the rosy lips that
are yet unparched by fever, untainted by consumption. Fair reader, there
have been those who would have given at the moment almost half their
worldly wealth, to
have been able to provide a palatable morsel for a beloved sufferer; who have met the inquiring eye, that asked for it knew not what, and that expressed by its anxious look an almost childish longing for what they were unable to supply, not because the means were denied, but simply because they were too ignorant of the nature and necessities of illness to form any practical idea of what would be most suitable and most approved. Perhaps, in their well-meant officiousness, they have mentioned the only thing they were acquainted with, and that was just the most repulsive. What then have they done?--Allowed the faint and feeble sufferer to go pining on, wishing it had been her lot to fall under the care of any other nurse.
How invaluable at such a time is the almost endless catalogue of good
and suitable preparations with which the really clever woman is supplied,
any one of which she is able to prepare with her own hands; choosing, with
the skill of the doctor, what is best adapted for the occasion, and
converting diet into medicine of the most agreeable description, which she
brings silently into the sick-room without previous mention, and thus
exhilarates the spirits of the patient by an agreeable surprise.
It is customary with young ladies of the present day to think that
nurses and hired attendants ought to do these things; and well and
faithfully they sometimes do them, to the shame of those connected by
nearer ties. But are they ignorant that a hired hand can never impart such
sweetness to a cordial as a hand beloved; and that the most delicious and
most effectual means of proving the strength of their affection is to
choose to do, what might by possibility have been accomplished
by another?
When we meet in society with that speechless inanimate, ignorant, and
useless being called "a young lady just come from school," it
is thought a sufficient apology for all her deficiencies, that she has,
poor thing! but just come home from school. Thus implying that nothing in
the way of domestic usefulness, social intercourse, or adaptation to
circumstances, can be expected from her until she has had time to learn
it.
If, during the four or five years spent at school, she had been
establishing herself upon the foundation of her future character, and
learning to practise what would afterwards be the business of her life, she
would, when her education was considered as complete, be in the highest
possible state of perfection which her nature, at that
season of life, would admit of. This is what she ought to be. I need not advert to what she is. The case is too pitiful to justify any farther description. The popular and familiar remark, "Poor thing! she has just come home from school; what can you expect?" is the best commentary I can offer.
There is another point of difference between the training of the
intellect, and that of the moral feelings, of more serious importance than
any we have yet considered.
We all know that the occupation of teaching, as it relates to the common
branches of instruction, is one of such herculean labour, that few persons
are found equal to it for any protracted length of time; and even with
such, it is necessary that they should bend their minds to it with a
determined effort, and make each day a renewal of that effort, not to be
baffled by difficulties, nor defeated by want of success. We all know, too,
what it is to the learner to be dragged on day by day through the dull
routine of exercises, in which she feels no particular interest, except
what arises from getting in advance of her fellows, obtaining a prize, or
suffering a punishment. We all can remember the atmosphere of the
school-room, so uncongenial to the fresh and buoyant spirits of
youth--the clatter of slates, the dull point of the pencil, and the white cloud where the wrong figure, the figure that would prove the incorrectness of the whole, had so often been rubbed out. To say nothing of the morning lessons, before the dust from the desks and the floor had been put in motion, we all can remember the afternoon sensations with which we took our places, perhaps between companions the most unloved by us of any in the school; and how, while the summer's sun was shining in through the high windows, we pored with aching head over some dry dull words, that would not transmit themselves to the tablet of our memories, though repeated with indefatigable industry, repeated until they seemed to have no identity, no distinctness, but were mingled with the universal hum and buzz of the close, heated room; where the heart, if it did not forget itself to stone, at least forgot itself to sleep, and lost all power of feeling anything but weariness, and occasional pining for relief. Class after class were then called up from this hot-bed of intellect. The tones of the teacher's voice, though not always the most musical, might easily have been pricked down in notes, they were so uniform in their cadences of interrogation, rejection, and reproof. These, blending with the slow, dull
answers of the scholars, and occasionally the quick guess of one ambitious to attain the highest place, all mingled with the general monotony, and increased the stupor that weighed down every eye, and deadened every pulse.
There are, unquestionably, quick children, who may easily be made fond
of learning, if judiciously treated; and it no doubt happens to all, that
there are portions of their daily duty not absolutely disagreeable; but
that weariness is the prevalent sensation both with the teachers and the
taught, is a fact that few will attempt to deny; nor is it a libel upon
individuals thus engaged, or upon human nature in general, that it should
be so. We are so constituted that we cannot spend all our time
in the exercise of our intellect, without absolute pain, especially while
young; and when, in after life, we rise with exhausted patience from three
hours of writing or reading we cannot look back with wonder that at school
we suffered severely from the labour of six.
It is not my province to describe how much the bodily constitution is
impaired by this incessant application to study. Philanthropical means are
devised for relieving the young student as much as possible, by varying the
subjects of attention, and allowing short intervals of bodily exercise:
but still the high-pressure system goes on; and, with all their attainments in the way of learning, few of the young ladies who return home after a highly-finished education, are possessed of health and energy sufficient to make use of their attainments, even if they occupied a field more suited to their display.
I know not how it may affect others, but the number of languid,
listless, and inert young ladies, who now recline upon our sofas, murmuring
and repining at every claim upon their personal exertions, is to me a truly
melancholy spectacle, and one which demands the attention of a benevolent
and enlightened public, even more, perhaps, than some of those great
national schemes in which the people and the government are alike
interested. It is but rarely now that we meet with a really healthy woman;
and, highly as intellectual attainments may be prized, I think all will
allow that no qualifications can be of much value without the power of
bringing them into use.
The difference I would point out, between the exercise of the intellect
and that of the moral feelings is this. It has so pleased the all-wise
Disposer of our lives, that the duties he has laid down for the right
government of the human family, have in their very nature something that
expands and invigorates the soul; so that instead of being weary of well-doing, the character becomes strengthened, the energies enlivened, and the whole sphere of capability enlarged.
Who has not felt, after a long, conflict between duty and inclination,
when at last the determination has been formed, and duty has been submitted
to, not grudgingly, but from very love to the Father of mercies, who alone
can judge what will eventually promote the good of his weak, erring, and
short-sighted creatures--from reverence for his holy laws, and from
gratitude to the Saviour of mankind;--who has not felt a sudden
impulse of thanksgiving and delight as they were enabled to make this
decision, a springing up, as it were, of the soul from the low cares and
entanglements of this world, to a higher and purer state of existence,
where the motives and feelings under which the choice has been made, will
be appreciated and approved, but where every inducement that could have
been brought forward to vindicate a different choice, would have been
rejected at the bar of eternal justice?
It is not the applause of man that can reach the heart under such
circumstances. No human eye is wished for, to look in upon our self-denial,
or to witness the sacrifice we make. The good
we have attempted to do may even fail in its effect. We know that the result is not with us, but with Him who seeth in secret, and who has left us in possession of this encouraging assurance, Inasmuch as ye do it unto one of these, ye do it onto me.
Was the human mind ever enfeebled, or the human frame exhausted, by
feelings of kindness? No! The hour of true refreshment and invigoration is
that in which we do our duty, whatever it may be, cheerfully and humbly, as
in the sight of God; not pluming ourselves upon our own merit, or
anticipating great results, but with a childlike dependence upon his
promises, and devout aspirations to be ever employed in working out his
holy will.
In the pursuit of intellectual attainments, we cannot encourage
ourselves throughout the day, nor revive our wearied energies at night, by
saying, "It is for the love of my heavenly Father that I do
this." But, as a very little child may be taught, for the love of a
lost parent, to avoid what that parent would have disapproved; so the young
may be cheered and led onward in the path of duty by the same principle,
connecting every action of their lives in which good and evil
may be blended, with the condemnation or approval of their Father who is in heaven.
There is no principle in our nature which at the same time softens and
ennobles, subdues and exalts, so much as the principle of gratitude; and it
ought ever to be remembered, in numbering our blessings, that gratitude has
been made the foundation of Christian morality. The ancient philosophers
had their system of morals, and a beautiful one it was. But it had this
defect--it had no sure foundation; sometimes shifting from expediency
to the rights of man, and thus having no fixed and determinate character.
The happier system under which we are privileged to live, has all the
advantages acknowledged by the philosophers of old, with this great and
merciful addition, that it is peculiarly calculated to wind itself in with
our affections, by being founded upon gratitude, and thus to excite, in
connexion with the practice of all it enjoins, those emotions of mind which
are most conducive to our happiness.
Let us imagine a little community of young women, amongst whom, to do an
act of disinterested kindness should be an object of the highest ambition,
and where to do any act of pure selfishness, tending, however remotely, to
the injury
of another, should be regarded as the deepest disgrace; where they should be accustomed to consider their time not as their own, but lent them solely for the purpose of benefiting their fellow-creatures; and where those who were known to exercise the greatest charity and forbearance, should be looked upon as the most exalted individual in the whole community. Would these girls be weary? Would they be discontented, listless, and inanimate? The experiment remains to be tried.
It is a frequent and popular remark, that girls are less trouble to
manage in families than boys; and so unquestionably they are. But when
their parents go on to say that girls awaken less anxiety, are safer and
more easily brought up, I am disposed to think such parents look with too
superficial a view to the conduct of their children before the world,
rather than the state of their hearts before God.
It is true that girls have little temptation, generally speaking, to
vice. They are so hemmed in and guarded by the rules of society, that they
must be destitute almost of the common feelings of human nature, to be
willing, for any consideration, to sacrifice their good name. But do such
parents ever ask, how much of evil may be
cherished and indulged in, and the good name retained? I am aware that amongst the generality of women there is more religious feeling than amongst men, more observance of the ordinances of religion, more reading of the scriptures, and more attention to the means of religious information. But let not the woman who sits in peace, and unassailed by temptation, in the quiet retirement of her own parlour, look down with self-complacency and contempt upon the open transgressions of her erring brother. Rather let her weigh in the scale his strong passions, and strong inducements to evil, and, it may be, strong compunctions too, against her own little envyings, bickerings, secret spite, and soul-cherished idolatry of self; and then ask of her conscience which is farthest in advance towards the kingdom of heaven.
It is true, she has uttered no profane expression, but she has set
afloat upon a winged whisper the transgression of her neighbour. She has
polluted her lips with no intoxicating draught, but she has drunk of the
Circean cup of flattery, and acted from vanity and self-love, when she was
professing to act from higher motives. She has run into no excesses but the
excess of display; and she has injured no one by her bad example, except in
the
practice of petty faults. In short, she has not sinned beyond her own temptations.
One of the most striking features in the character of the young ladies
of the present day, is the absence of contentment. They are lively when
excited, but no sooner does the excitement cease, than they fall back into
their habitual listlessness, under which they so often complain of their
fate, and speak of themselves as unfortunate and afflicted, that one would
suppose them to be victims of adversity, did not a more intimate
acquaintance with their actual circumstances, convince us that they were
surrounded by every thing conducive to rational comfort. For the sake of
the poetry of the matter, one would scarcely deny to every young lady her
little canker-worm to nurse in her bosom, since all must have their pets.
But when they add selfishness to melancholy, and trouble their friends with
their idle and fruitless complaints, the case becomes too serious for a
jest. Indeed, I am not sure that the professing Christian, who rises every
morning with a cherished distaste for the duties of the day, who turns away
when they present themselves, under a belief that they are more difficult
or more disgusting than the duties of other people, who regards her own
allotment in the world as peculiarly hard,
and never pours forth her soul in devout thanksgiving for the blessings she enjoys, is not in reality as culpable in the sight of God, and living as much at variance with the spirit of true religion, as the individual who spends the same portion of time in the practice of more open and palpable sin.
It is an undeniable improvement in modern education, that religious
instruction is becoming more general, that pupils are questioned in the
knowledge of the Scriptures, instructed in the truths of religion, and sent
forth into the world prepared to give an answer respecting the general
outlines of Christianity. So long, however, as the discontent above alluded
to remains so prevalent, we must question the sufficiency of this method of
instruction; and it is under a strong conviction, that to teach young
people to talk about religion is but a small part of what is necessary to
the establishment of their christian characters, that I have ventured to
put forth what may be regarded as crude remarks upon this important
subject.
I still cling fondly to the hope, that, ere long, some system of female
instruction will be discovered, by which the young women of England may be
sent home from school prepared for the
stations appointed them by Providence to fill in after life, and prepared to fill them well. Then indeed may this favoured country boast of her privileges, when her young women return to their homes and their parents, habituated to be on the watch for every opportunity of doing good to others; making it the first and the last inquiry of every day, "What can I do to make my parents, my brothers, or my sisters, more happy? I am but a feeble instrument in the hands of Providence, to work out any of his benevolent designs; but as he will give me strength, I hope to pursue the plan to which I have been accustomed, of seeking my own happiness only in the happiness of others."
When we examine the real state of society, and single out the
individuals whose habits, conversation, and character produce the happiest
effect upon their fellow-creatures, we invariably find them persons who are
morally, rather than intellectually great; and consequently
the possession of genius is, to a woman, a birthright of very
ques-
tionable value. It is a remark, not always charitably made, but unfortunately too true, that the most talented women are not the most agreeable in their domestic capacity; and frequent and unsparing are the batteries of sarcasm and wit, which consequently open upon our unfortunate blues? It should be remembered, however, that the evil is not in the presence of one quality, but in the absence of another; and we ought never to forget the redeeming excellence of those signal instances, in which the moral worth of the female character is increased and supported by intellectual power. If, in order to maintain a beneficial influence in society, superior talent, or even a high degree of learning, were required, solitary and insignificant would be the lot of some of the most social, benevolent, and noble-hearted women, who now occupy the very centre of attraction within their respective circles, and claim from all around them a just and appropriate tribute of affection and esteem.
It need scarcely be repeated, that although great intellectual
attainments are by no means the highest recommendation that a woman can
possess, the opposite extreme of ignorance, or natural imbecility of mind,
are effectual barriers to the exercise of any considerable degree of
influence in society. An ignorant woman who has not the good sense to keep silent, or a weak woman pleased with her own prattle, are scarcely less annoying than humiliating to those who, from acquaintance or family connexion, have the misfortune to be identified with them; yet it is surprising how far a small measure of talent, or of mental cultivation, may be made to extend in the way of giving pleasure, when accompanied by good taste, good sense, and good feeling, especially with that feeling which leads the mind from self and selfish motives, into an habitual regard to the good and the happiness of others.
The more we reflect upon this subject, the more we must be convinced,
that there is a system of discipline required for women, totally distinct
from what is called the learning of the schools, and that, unless they can
be prepared for their allotment in life by some process calculated to fit
them for performing its domestic duties, the time bestowed upon their
education will be found, in after life, to have been wholly inadequate to
procure for them either habits of usefulness, or a healthy tone of
mind.
It would appear from a superficial observation of the views of domestic
and social duty about to be presented, that in the estimation of the
writer,
the great business of a woman's life was to make herself agreeable; for so minute are some of the points which properly engage her attention, that they scarcely seem to bear upon the great object of doing good. Yet when we reflect that by giving pleasure in an innocent and unostentatious manner, innumerable channels are opened for administering instruction, assistance, or consolation, we cease to regard as insignificant the smallest of those means by which a woman can render herself an object either of affection or disgust.
First, then, and most familiar to common observation, is her personal
appearance; and in this case, vanity, more potent in woman's heart
than selfishness, renders it an object of general solicitude to be so
adorned as best to meet and gratify the public taste. Without inquiring too
minutely into the motive, the custom, as such, must be commended; for, like
many of the minor virtues of women, though scarcely taken note of in its
immediate presence, it is sorely missed when absent. A careless or
slatternly woman, for instance, is one of the most repulsive objects in
creation; and such is the force of public opinion in favour of the
delicacies of taste and feeling in the female sex, that no power of
intellect, or
dis-
play of learning, can compensate to men, for the want of nicety or neatness in the women with whom they associate in domestic life. In vain to them might the wreath of laurel wave in glorious triumph over locks uncombed; and wo betide the heroine, whose stocking, even of the deepest blue, betrayed a lurking hole!
It is, however, a subject too serious for jest, and ought to be regarded
by all women with earnest solicitude that they may constantly maintain in
their own persons that strict attention to good taste and delicacy of
feeling, which affords the surest evidence of delicacy of mind; a quality
without which no woman ever was, or ever will be, charming. Let her appear
in company with what accomplishments she may, let her charm by her musical
talents, attract by her beauty, or enliven by her wit, if there steal from
underneath her graceful drapery, the soiled hem, the tattered frill, or
even the coarse garment out of keeping with her external finery,
imagination naturally carries the observer to her dressing-room, her
private habits, and even to her inner mind, where, it is almost impossible
to believe that the same want of order and pu