Reflection

Peter Voeller

Editor's Note: The following reflection was in response to an incident which occurred on Peter Voeller's home campus. A student asked an instructor if Peter was gay. The evasive response by the instructor triggered a wide ranging discussion and debate on how such inquiries might be handled.

It's ironic that all this debate was going on while I was at the national NAFSA: Association of International Educators conference in Vancouver, considering one of the sessions I attended was entitled "Best of Region VI: Taboo Topics: Sex and Sexual Orientation --Incorporating Discussion Into Student Orientation Programs" from Indiana University. One of the presenters, Kathleen Sideli, introduced the topic by clarifying that the session was not going to be about sex (that was just to get people's attention :) but about the inclusion of such topics as sexual orientation into the orientation and curriculum. Imagine my surprise upon returning and finding that some of my colleagues felt these topics were "totally inappropriate behavior."

All of us have heard the argument that America has no culture. Most of us have lived or traveled in another country whose culture we did not totally understand. To say that issues of sexual orientation are not a part of current American culture, not to mention the idea of having a culture of its own, would be to deny the press that it's been getting ever since Clinton proposed a relaxation of the 'gays in the military' restrictions.

I have been asked directly if I'm gay by students from Japan, Thailand, Spain and Kuwait, most of whom were gay themselves and looking for support. (It's why I have a gay flag in my office, to show those in the know that it's a safe topic of discussion.) If a student comes up to you with a topic such as the TOEFL requirement for the University of Oklahoma or the local mosque hours, you would without hesitation refer him/her to the proper source, if you did not have the information yourself. Living in the present day USA where topics of sexual orientation are prevalent in the media, the odds of a student coming up and asking about it greatly increase. Recently, I saw a former student at a lecture series sponsored by the UW Alumni Association on sexual orientation. He was taking it as credit for his degree in architecture. What confusion are we creating when a student hears, "That's not an appropriate topic of discussion?" Tell that to Oprah and Diane Sawyer of 20/20.

I have a tape of international students, some our former ESL students, talking about their experiences being gay in the US, one hearing his ESL teacher use the word 'fairy' and after that, no longer feeling safe with that teacher. (This was done for a session entitled "Advising gay and lesbian international students.)

I've always heard issues of sexual orientation, "Our student advisor is gay."were not a source of discussion or thing to deal with in this open environment of the ESL Program. Professionally, these discussions of what I see as my 'status' are painful, but informative. Thanks for listening.