The Legacy of Matthew Shepard

By Kathleen Sideli, Indiana University

When I learned I would be NAFSA's official representative at this year's NASPA, Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education conference in Indianapolis, it wasn't yet confirmed or announced that Judy Shepard, the mother of Matthew Shepard, would be a plenary speaker. Once I was at the conference and saw the session listed in the program I wondered whether the plenary would be well-attended, given its topic, 'The Legacy of Matthew Shepard'. You can imagine my surprise to enter a ballroom that had at least 2,000 people in attendance, with hardly a seat left available for latecomers and with at least 25 other conference sessions going on simultaneously. It boggled the mind.

The crowd waited with quiet patience, intuitively sensing that the somber topic deserved a peaceful atmosphere not normally present during the frenzied moments leading up to a conference plenary. Judy Shepard was joined at the podium by Dr. James C. Hu rst, Vice President for Student Affairs and Professor of Psychology at the University of Wyoming. With a calm and soothing voice, which frequently cracked as he forced back the tears which kept coming to his eyes, he brought all of us back to the horrible events of October 1998. He made the crowd relive the events, day by day, as he explained how his life became inextricably entwined with the lives of the Shepard family. He did this by explaining image by image the video we would be seeing which was a com posite of news footage shot during the days following Matthew's attack.

He wanted us to focus on certain elements -- the compassion and suffering visible on the faces of the students marching silently down the streets of Laramie during their vigil for Matthew, the faces full of hatred of the few bigots who marred those day s with their prejudice and their insults, the site out on the prairie where Matthew was gruesomely beaten by those who would eventually face life in prison for his death, the beautiful testimonials of Elton John who went to Laramie to dedicate a concert f or the Matthew Shepard Foundation in June of 1999 and of Peter, Paul and Mary who gave a special concert on the anniversary of Matthew's death last October. Peter was emotional as he spoke about Matthew's life and death and the ongoing need for humanity t o cultivate tolerance, love and peace. By the end of Dr. Hurst's presentation and the completion of the video, it was evident that everyone at the plenary was emotionally touched.

And then Judy Shepard took the stage. The crowd gave her a long standing ovation just for the courage it took for her to be there with us. And then she comforted us. She was amazing in her composure. She came with a simple message. She let us know how important a role we have in reaching out to GLBT students on our campuses and in affecting the attitudes of all our students regarding sexual orientation. She thanked us if we had already made headway in the GLBT arena. She encouraged us to do so if we ha dn't.

Judy Shepard explained why she felt compelled to be at the conference. She has just begun visiting college campuses as a way to continue the legacy of her son. She told us about his life, about how he learned, when he went to high school in Switzerland , that the world is made up of different cultures and individuals and that the diversity and richness of humanity made him optimistic and excited about life's potential. She talked about how welcome he was made to feel through the various support services available at the University of Wyoming. She talked about his gentle nature, his love of theater, his openness and his love for his family. She considered him more than a son, he was her friend. She then talked about the horror it was to live through thos e long days when she and her family had to make their way from Saudi Arabia to his bedside, not knowing along the way whether they would arrive in time and whether he would recover from his wounds. She keeps asking herself and asked us how anyone could de stroy a human life out of such blind hate and rage.

Her voice throughout was gentle and personal, as if there were only a few people in the room. She read to us the text that she had read at the sentencing trial of one of Matthew's killers. It was difficult for her to read it. It was difficult for us to listen to it. It was powerful since it made her son real to all of us. And it was painful since it put a face on what they all suffered; she made us relive his agony at being murdered just because he was gay. She reminded us that he was just one of many who have been killed because of their sexual orientation.

She confessed she never dreamed that she would be thrust on the national scene in this way. To date she has received 10,000 letters, many with donations for the Foundation, and 100,000 e-mail messages. And she apologized for not responding to them but also expressed how positively overwhelmed she feels given the unexpected support she had received worldwide. She takes solace in that support and encouragement since it tells her that the world is ready to reject hate crimes. I remembered that our SIG don ation was among those many letters and it felt good to know that we had reached out to her.

Judy Shepard shared with us the two dreams she holds onto. The first would be that every well-known and visible GLBT individual in a position of power and influence, and even those with everyday ordinary lives, would let the world know their sexual ori entation. She explained that the GLBT youth of today need to know who they can look to for their role models so they will not be ashamed of who they are. And she said she dreams about the day when once a year people would somehow let the world know that their lives have been touched in a positive way by someone gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. She feels that if everyone realized just how abundantly and richly people are affected by GLBT individuals, people would stop fearing that which they do no t understand.