How Can Parent-Teacher Differences Be Prevented or Resolved?

Parent Brochure

Parents and teachers share responsibility for creating a working relationship that fosters children's learning. This brochure examines the cultural context for parent-teacher relationships, suggests some general strategies for creating a climate in which misunderstandings and disagreements between parents and teachers can be minimized through communication, and discusses some general principles for parents and teachers in dealing with misunderstandings or disagreements as they arise.

What Is the Cultural Context for Parent-Teacher Relationships?

It is important for parents and teachers to remember that they know the child in different contexts and that each may be unaware of what the child is like in the other context. Different people often have different perspectives on the same issue.

For many parents, a fundamental part of the parenting role is to be their child's strongest advocate in the school. Some parents, however, may be reluctant to express their concerns because of cultural beliefs related to the authoritative position of the teacher. Others may have difficulty talking with teachers as a result of memories of their own school years or may be unsure of how to express their concerns to teachers. A few parents may fear that questions or criticism will put their child at a disadvantage in school.

Surprisingly, many teachers -- especially new ones -- are equally anxious about encounters with parents. Most teachers have received very little training in fostering relationships with parents, but with the growing understanding of the importance of parent involvement, they may worry about doing everything they can to encourage parents to feel welcome.

How Can Teachers and Parents Foster Open, Ongoing Communication?

The foundation for good parent-teacher relationships is frequent and open communication. Both teachers and parents share the responsibility for creating such a foundation. There are several strategies teachers can use to establish a climate conducive to open communication. Teachers can:

Let parents know how and when they can contact the school and the teacher. Early in the school year, teachers can explain that they can be reached at specific times or in specific ways; can be contacted directly as questions or concerns arise; and have given a lot of thought to their teaching philosophies, class rules, and expectations. In addition to personal interaction, teachers can use newsletters or can send letters home to provide this information to parents.

Elicit expressions of parents' concerns and interests in preparation for parent-teacher conferences. Early in the school year, ask parents to share their main concerns and goals for their child. Brief questionnaires and interest surveys also provide good bases for meaningful discussions in parent-teacher conferences.

Practice an open-door, open-mind policy. Teachers can invite parents to visit the classroom at any time that is convenient to the parents. When they visit, parents can monitor their child's perceptions of a situation and can see for themselves what the teacher is trying to achieve with his or her students.

Involve parents in classroom activities. Teachers can let parents know how they can be helpful and can solicit their assistance with specific activities. The more involved parents are in what goes on in the classroom, the more likely they are to understand the teacher's goals and practices.

Parents also have an important role to play in fostering open communication. Parents can:

Introduce themselves. At the beginning of the school year, parents can let teachers know when they can be reached most easily (daytime or evening) to discuss their child's classroom experience, and also how they would prefer to be contacted (by telephone, e-mail, or letter or in person).

Be involved in classroom and school activities at whatever level work and family responsibilities allow. If parents cannot volunteer or go on field trips, they can let the teacher know that they are interested in helping in other ways, such as with displays and weekend activities.

Initiate regular contact. Parents need not wait for the teacher to call them; they can contact the teacher at times the teacher has indicated are convenient.

What Are Some Strategies for Teachers and Parents Who Disagree?

On those inevitable occasions when teachers and parents disagree about curriculum, assignments, peer relationships, homework, or teaching approaches, a pattern of open communication can be invaluable for resolving differences. In times of disagreement, teachers should:

Know the school policy for addressing parent-teacher disagreements. Teachers should check school and district policies for handling conflicts or disagreements with parents and should follow the procedures outlined.

Use discretion about when and where children and their families are discussed. Resist temptations to discuss individual children and their families in inappropriate public or social situations.

Parents must know the facts when discussing disagreements with teachers. Parents should:

Talk directly with the teacher about problems. Address complaints directly to the teacher, either in person or by telephone, and then to other school personnel in the order specified by school policy.

It is important to check the facts directly with the teacher before drawing conclusions.

Avoid criticizing the teacher in front of children. Besides causing confusion and conflict, criticizing the teacher in front of the child does nothing to address the problem. Criticism may put a young child in a bind over divided loyalties. As children age, such criticism may foster arrogance, defiance, and rudeness toward teachers.

Choose an appropriate time and place to discuss disagreements. Parents should keep in mind that the end of the day, when both teachers and parents are tired, is probably not the best time for a discussion involving strong feelings. If an extended discussion is needed, make an appointment with the teacher.

Conclusion

Parents and teachers share responsibility for the education and socialization of children. Preventing and resolving the differences that may arise between parents, teachers, and children by using constructive communication, respect, grace, and good humor can help make school a pleasant place.

Where Can I Get More Information?

The following organizations offer information on the topic of resolving parent-teacher differences, as well as other information about early childhood education:

Alliance for Parental Involvement in Education
29 Kinderhook Street
Chatham, NY 12037
Phone: 518-392-6900
E-mail: allpie@taconic.net
Web: http://www.croton.com/allpie

ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Children's Research Center
51 Gerty Drive
Urbana, IL 61820-7469
Phone: 217-333-1386
Toll free: 800-583-4135
Fax: 217-333-3767
E-mail: ericeece@uiuc.edu
Web: http://ericps.crc.uiuc.edu/ericeece.html
Web: http://npin.org (National Parent Information Network)

The National PTA
330 Wabash Avenue, Suite 2100
Chicago, IL 60611
Phone: 312-670-6782
E-mail: info@pta.org
Web: http://www.pta.org

Sources

References identified with EJ or ED are abstracted in the ERIC database. EJ references are journal articles available at most research libraries. ED references are documents available in microfiche collections at more than 900 locations or in paper copy from the ERIC Document Reproduction Service at 1-800-443-ERIC (3742). Call 1-800-LET-ERIC (538-3742) for more details.

Barnett, M. F. 1995. Strengthening Partnerships by Reaching Out to Families. Paper presented at the National Council of Teachers of English Annual Spring Conference, Minneapolis, MN, March 16-18. ED 388 412.

Doner, K. 1996. "My Teacher Hates Me." Working Mother 19 (9): 46-48.

Greenwood, G. E., and C. W. Hickman. 1991. "Research and Practice in Parent Involvement: Implications for Teacher Education." Elementary School Journal 91 (3): 279-88. EJ 429 060.

Katz, L. G. 1996. "Building Resilience: Helping Your Child Cope With Frustrations at School." Instructor 106 (3): 95-98.

Katz, L. G. 1995. "Mothering and Teaching: Significant Distinctions." In Lilian G. Katz, Talks With Teachers of Young Children: A Collection. Norwood, NJ: Ablex. ED 380 232.

Nielsen, L. E., and J. M. Finkelstein. 1993. "A New Approach to Parent Conferences." Teaching PreK-8 24 (1): 90-92. EJ 469 327.

Willis, S. 1995. "When Parents Object to Classroom Practice." Education Update 37 (1): 1, 6, 8.

This brochure is based on the 1996 ERIC Digest, How Can We Prevent and Resolve Parent-Teacher Differences?, written by Lilian G. Katz, Amy Aidman, Debbie A. Reese, and Ann-Marie Clark of the ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education.

This publication was prepared by ACCESS ERIC with funding from the National Library of Education, Office of Educational Research and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education, under Contract No. RK95188001. The opinions expressed in this brochure do not necessarily reflect the positions or policies of the U.S. Department of Education. This brochure is in the public domain. Authorization to reproduce it in whole or in part is granted.

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